Blindsidedagainalive Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Perhaps this is just a vent. At 2 plus years post affair, I thought I'd be recovering or gone. Well, I am neither....for many reasons. The reason I'm NOT gone is surely on me. The reason we are not recovering is both of us. I am miserable living with her. We have not had sex in 6 months (I'm Clintonizing, she has thrown me some oral). I WILL NOT RECIPROCATE. If things were different in my life (like...if I had a job and a drivers license), I'm sure I'd be gone. On the other hand, I don't know as I am not in that situation. Perhaps if I was working and driving, recovery could have been easier. Anyway, with Christmas approaching, it just seems like another day. We will not decorate, or get a tree. I will not get her a present or a card. She may get me a card, but a gift is doubtful as she is also unemployed. Inevitably, our house will have to go because of the financial situation. I get my licence back in 1.5 years after being without it for 10 years. It's something to look forward to I suppose. Otherwise, I am not so hopeful. I have been thinking about dying quite a bit lately. It would just make everything so much easier.
Author Blindsidedagainalive Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 Did you ask her for the divorce? Did you love her at that time? If you asked her for the divorce, why are you so angry 7.5 years later? How long was her affair going on?
Samantha0905 Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 I don't mean this harsh in any way, but it doesn't sound like the two of you are working on it. If you're not going to work on it, by all means go your separate ways. I don't know how you will handle this with both of you being unemployed. It sounds like a difficult situation to say the least. Do you have family nearby? Anyone you could stay with for a while?
You'reasian Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Perhaps this is just a vent. At 2 plus years post affair, I thought I'd be recovering or gone. Well, I am neither....for many reasons. The reason I'm NOT gone is surely on me. The reason we are not recovering is both of us. I am miserable living with her. We have not had sex in 6 months (I'm Clintonizing, she has thrown me some oral). I WILL NOT RECIPROCATE. If things were different in my life (like...if I had a job and a drivers license), I'm sure I'd be gone. On the other hand, I don't know as I am not in that situation. Perhaps if I was working and driving, recovery could have been easier. Anyway, with Christmas approaching, it just seems like another day. We will not decorate, or get a tree. I will not get her a present or a card. She may get me a card, but a gift is doubtful as she is also unemployed. Inevitably, our house will have to go because of the financial situation. I get my licence back in 1.5 years after being without it for 10 years. It's something to look forward to I suppose. Otherwise, I am not so hopeful. I have been thinking about dying quite a bit lately. It would just make everything so much easier. Stay strong! Surround yourself with people you know will take good care of you. You're hurt, but you will get over this.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 BSAA.....you don't have to deal with the crap of life after an affair. There is one sure fire way to get rid of a crappy life after an affair....and that is to get rid of the person that had the affair and find someone decent. Trust me...ITS THE BEST!!!
seibert253 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 BSAA.....you don't have to deal with the crap of life after an affair. There is one sure fire way to get rid of a crappy life after an affair....and that is to get rid of the person that had the affair and find someone decent. Trust me...ITS THE BEST!!! If the person who had the affair realizes their "mistakes", then does some serious work to fix what they did. Then it's all meaningless Seems this lady has done none of the above. Time to go my friend. Better fish out there.
jwi71 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Your title couldn't be more wrong. Post-affair life is VERY rewarding...far more than you imagine. It svcks for you because you are floundering in a dead M. And that truly svcks for you. Been there myself. I D my xWW ~8 months after the A. Did the IC thing. Healed. Met and am cultivating a strong healthy R with a woman who brings color to otherwise grey world. Life is great. Yours can be too....choose ACTIONS to make it so...
Author Blindsidedagainalive Posted December 15, 2009 Author Posted December 15, 2009 Cobalt- 3. This question is ill-conceived. It's like asking someone with gangrene "you knew the limb had to go, so why are you upset about the amputation?" To elaborate further, a great injustice was committed against me, and I'll simply never get over it. I'm sorry Cobalt, I certainly meant no offense. Keep trying. No more of her lies, arguments, tantrums, debt, overspending, filth, crowded closets, clutter, anger, violence, lateness, disorganization, ignorance. Although my WW was a cheater and a liar during her 6 month affair, she did not have the above additional issues. She had OTHER issues....mainly self esteem rooted. She basically SHUT DOWN after the affair. jwi71- Your title couldn't be more wrong. Post-affair life is VERY rewarding...far more than you imagine. Thanks for this perspective....it's hard to see it this way sometimes....but you make an excellent point.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 If the person who had the affair realizes their "mistakes", then does some serious work to fix what they did. Then it's all meaningless nah, one still would have to put up with the aftermath, hence the knowledge of what their spouse did behind their back. doesn't matter if they try to fix things....the scars remain. I see getting rid of the cheaters as plastic surgery to remove those scars.
dizzled Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 dude - if you aint got no kid with this chick... get your **** and go. **** who cares if you are homeless for a bit its better then being in that crap.
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