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OMG what's happening to me??


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Posted (edited)

Is something wrong with me? Have I lost touch with reality or what.....

 

I was working at a volunteer job for charity that I've been doing for a long time now. I was having a conversation with a very intelligent man in his early 70's about the Tiger Woods scandal.

 

This man has been married to the same woman for over 50 years. He swears that there has never been any infidelity in their relationship. The thing is that I don't see why everyone is making such a big deal out of Tiger's infidelity. I realize he cheated and that's wrong. But I don't see why this has ruined his entire life and career.

 

I JUST DON'T GET IT!!! And that is the problem with me, apparently. ALL major athletes have cheated at some point or another. It seems to go along with the territory. I don't think it's right; but it just not surprising to me. And I don't see why EVERYONE except me seems to be treating Tiger's infidelity like it's the worst thing that's ever happened in the world.

 

Michael Jordan was one of the greatest basketball players of all time. He certainly cheated on Juanita for years. I know for a fact because one of my best friends dated him for like three years back in the 90's. And even after their relationship ended, they have remained friends. Michael had several others. I don't know why it never made HEADLINE NEWS. But those affairs didn't ruin his career. So why can't Tiger be treated the same??

 

The 70 year old man, Bill, told me he felt sorry for me because I don't realize why infidelity is ENOUGH to ruin a person's life and career. I am pathetic for thinking infidelity is normal in High Profile or Celebrity relationships more than it is with common folk. I am screwed up because if I were married to Tiger Woods, I would be more focused on keeping my marriage and getting the media out of my business than sabbatoging my husband's life and career.

 

I don't know. Am I really messed up??? Have I lost my empathy chip?? If so, how can I get it back. A part of me understands how Eileen (Tiger's wife) feels humiliated, betrayed, ect. But put that aside and she has EVERYTHING a woman could ever dream of. She almost literally holds the world in the palm of her hands. I can't understand how being cheated on, "simply cheated on" would make her want to give all that up.

 

There are women, myself included, who have endured much worse things than being cheated on by men and recieved MUCH LESS in return. I feel terrible for thinking this way. But at the same time, it seems to be reality based on what I've experienced personally, as well as my friends and family.

 

I'm not looking for any bashing for my opinion here. I'm asking for anyone who doesn't feel the same as I do in this case to help me think differently. Help me see the point that I'm missing. How can I get it??

Edited by Butterflying
Posted
...I don't see why everyone is making such a big deal out of Tiger's infidelity. I realize he cheated and that's wrong. But I don't see why this has ruined his entire life and career.

 

I don't think it's right; but it just not surprising to me. And I don't see why EVERYONE except me seems to be treating Tiger's infidelity like it's the worst thing that's ever happened in the world.

Interesting points, and I kind of see your meaning there...

 

I think that some of it comes from the fact that Tiger has made a fair amount of his money and based a fair amount of his success by marketing "Tiger" as a brand, and there's a lot more than just stupendous golf playing that goes along with that brand. Whether he personally cultivated it or not, the image of "Tiger" as a brand includes cool, calm, kind, smooth perfection. Incredible play, an apparently genuine outlook, a good relationship with his own family of origin (his relationship with his dad, and his loss at his dad's death...) and an apparently good relationship with the family he was creating. It makes us want to "buy in", both psychologically -in believing the image we were presented with - as well as literally, when we drink Gatorade or wear Nike, or whatever else we do partly because we see cool, smooth, effortless family-man Tiger doing it.

 

And so it's a shock when this marketed, built, fantasy image of Tiger-as-a-brand comes crashing down to earth under the weight of very human failure, which as you point out, is not exactly uncommon, in a general sense. I will point out, though, that it is partly due to his uncommon success that he had so many women falling out of that tree that he hit. How many "real" guys like me would have a chance of "getting lucky" with even one woman, let alone a hottie socialite, let alone 10 of them...

 

So in a way, we bought into his success, and we wished him along, as long as the image of his brand was consistent with something that made us want to continue buying in. Once his brand's image is revealed as the true fantasy that it is, though, we react with betrayal.

 

Now Michael Jordan's brand, for the most part, was built on being a superb basketball player and little else. While he was playing, he wasn't really marketed as the quiet, humble, family-guy everyman. As a matter of fact, it was pretty well acknowledged that his skill was built around crushing his opponents mercilessly, and being similarly merciless even with his own teammates if they didn't deliver. He was no less a "brand", but it wasn't built around anything more than a go-for-the-throat athlete - perhaps a more believably honest portrayal, and maybe that left us more able to see him as a fallable human when his own infidelities were revealed. He was never marketed as anything more than a great ball player...

 

Personally, I don't think it should ruin Tiger's career. If he can shoot the ball into the little cup better than anyone else, he should continue going out and doing that. That's what Jordan's career was built around; he did quite well at it, and his teams paid him nicely.

 

But much of Tiger's "career" - as far as his financial earning power goes - has been based around his "brand" and his ability to market himself as a human being beyond just the golf player. And like it or not, his family and his privacy all factored into that image. So when that all comes crashing down, the part of his career built on that "brand" will understandably suffer.

 

But I think he should go ahead and keep hitting those balls into the cups.

 

Note - I admit these two, Woods and Jordan, are not complete opposites. I know Jordan has/had lucrative endorsement contracts, and I know Woods makes lots of money from winning tournaments. But the general tenor of my point still stands, I think: Jordan's brand image - while he was playing, anyway - was that of a killer basketball player, and ittle more. Woods - whether he cultivated it or not - has a brand image that expands much further beyond just his golf playing, and that's the part that will suffer first.

Posted

Trimmer's made some excellent points!

 

Okay, time for me to add some non-PC, indelicately phrased points.

 

Woods is the first "black" man to have literally conquered golf, which has traditionally been an upper echelon, white sport. What comes with the turf of so much traditionalism, is that scandal isn't something that's acceptable for their top players.

 

Tiger has misrepresented himself badly, as a family man, one with strong, moral values.

 

I hope his entire career is ruined and I mean that sincerely. I have zero sympathy for the man. He's an idiot for risking all, including and especially the credibility of being a minority player, in such an exclusive white environment.

 

Non-PC rant over.

Posted

I think it's the fact that his image was so clean and people are shocked...also remember his fans are golfers. Michael Jordan's fans are a completely different demographic.

 

The other thing is his manner. He spend tens of thousands of dollars on weekends with prostitutes, switched his phone numbers to keep his wife out of the know, and sent dirty texts to dozens of women rather than just letting it be a phsyical interaction. He has some serious issues, and may even be a nymphomaniac in its purest sense or a sociopath.

Posted

I'm with you OP. I don't even see why it is news, and why everyone is making a big deal about it. It's a something personal between him, his wife, and his 13 mistresses to figure out. Put yourself in his place, would you think it's fair to lose your job just because everyone at work found out you were cheating on your significant other? It's a load of bull what is happening.

 

Infidelity is one thing. But branding someone with a scarlet letter for it is another entirely.

Posted

I'm with you OP. I don't even see why it is news, and why everyone is making a big deal about it. It's a something personal between him, his wife, and his 13 mistresses to figure out. Put yourself in his place, would you think it's fair to lose your job just because everyone at work found out you were cheating on your significant other? It's a load of bull what is happening.

 

Infidelity is one thing. But branding someone with a scarlet letter for it is another entirely.

Posted

I think what he did was horrible but I don't think he should lose his career over it. This is a personal matter, albeit a shocking one.

 

And I think that shock is why people are up in arms. It's jarring since his "brand" has always been calm, cool and in control. He was clean-cut and all-american type. It makes people think they've been duped.

 

But I really don't understand why any of this is news above and beyond maybe one Oprah show or Barbara Walters special.

Posted (edited)

Put concisely:

 

For many years, Tiger Woods, by contrast, has allowed the whole world to imagine that he is above reproach, both in his golf game and in the way he conduct(ed) himself elsewhere.

 

 

The strong reaction by society at this time has so very little to do with the many women he has boffed, but instead it relates entirely to the difference between what he led the world to believe, and who Tiger Woods really is.

 

 

Had the internet been around in 1964, this would have been another random month in the life of Wilt Chamberlain, and few would have done more than shrug.

 

 

Lost somewhere down in what I'm saying, is that you can get a whole lot from just challenging the line which is established by the way others perceive or think of you.

 

For example: A PTA mom can be perceived as a really hot sex partner if she merely challenges her own boundaries now and again. The stripper who lives down her street, by contrast, would seem rather prudish if adhereing even for an evening to the PTA mom's sexual standards.

 

 

It could be true that there are few others in the history of sports whose shining stars have plunged more violently to earth than Tiger Woods' star is plunging now. It has nothing to do with boffing other women and everything to do with who he seemed to be, contrasted so prominently with who he really is.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Posted

I have zero interest in the whole thing, I mean, big deal! Shock, horror! Not. It shouldn't ruin his career, personal life shouldn't interfere with professional life. However, I see why the brand would be tarnished. If he represents a certain something, then he does things in his personal life which contrast and conflict with that representation, it's very difficult to still be a brand of it. People will now always know and look at him like a man who cheated several times, with several women on his wife. It's a shame really-but when you are a brand, and you sign up to be one, I'm afraid to say, you should be on your best behaviour. Look at Britney Spears (not cheating but) when she was at the peak of her career, she was innocent, girl next doorsy, etc, yet when she had that downfall, she was no longer held in such high esteem.

 

I've noticed that those that brand themselves or allow others to cultivate an image of goodness, etc, generally are exposed for actually being normal, real people, and sometimes, these people have flaws, extreme flaws. Take Madonna and Whitney Houston, didn't they used to brand Whitney the good one, the angel etc, and Madonna the very opposite? Who had the breakdown and who didn't? When your less than perfect self is allowed to be exposed, it's easier to live. When you always have to preen, smile and act all good all the time, it's harder to keep up, and the heights you fall from are much higher.

  • Author
Posted

Every single one of your post ROCK!!! Trimmer, especially, is dead on. I get it now why this is such a big deal. It's the BRAND, not Tiger, his wife, or the other women.

 

His personal life is screwed because HE SCREWED THAT UP. Therefore he deserves whatever happens, be it divorce, separation, whatever. I agree with this 100%.

 

His professional life is screwed because HE SCREWED THAT UP by not living up to the image he was PAID to present. This sucks! Buy hey, it's the business. He knew what he was getting into by signing the contracts.

 

So now I totally understand why many people, especially the fans are outraged by this. Many people feel betrayed, not surprised, by his indiscretion. And now I don't feel like a heartless idiot about this matter. Until getting clarification from you all, I was questioning my own standards, like have I begun to settle or something?? But now I got it. Thank you.

Posted

If one of my good friends cheated on his wife, especially habitually, I would be bashing him too. It's unacceptable and I would lose a great deal of respect for them. And that's how I would feel if it were even my best friend that I loved dearly. Men don't do that garbage period and the world has lost respect for Tiger, rightfully so. It's a big deal when an icon falls from grace, and he has. Many fans will never forgive him for being a scumbag and I'm sure a few will no longer be interested in watching him golf either.

Posted

Amongst people close to the game there have been grumblings about Tiger and his behavior for quite a few years, it was inevitable the real Tiger would eventually show his face to the world. Had the man shown a little more respect on the way up, he wouldn't be falling quite so hard now, and the contempt held by a few is now being held by the millions. I think we will hear many more stories about Mr Woods over the next few months.

 

OP, his wife doesn't have the world, she just lost it. The kids have also lost a father they can ever respect. Money doesn't make up for those things.

Posted

The main subtextual question here is how has our society degenerated to the point that we stand around and talk about cult celebrities as if we know them or really care about them. They certainly don't know us or care about what we do.

 

When people start up with Tiger talk or something similar, I just short circuit it by saying "I don't know them personally, don't really care what they do, and have no opinions on the matter," then try to turn the conversation to something actually interesting or fun.

Posted

I think that

 

a) it doesn't matter if you've seen worse - that's no reason to relax your moral code about what is morally right and wrong

b) all of us adults are role models to kids and we need to either act in a way that we are proud for them to see, or, if we can't achieve that, at least show appropriate disapproval for others that do bad things

c) lying, disrespect, selfishness, etc, is NEVER right. Your Michael Jordan example of 'he did it, they all do it, so hell, its pretty normal so why care'?-is a really dangerous one. If 99% of the country turned round and decided that apartheid or nazism was, in fact, no big deal, what would you do? Agree with them just because everyone seems to be agreeing with it? So it's no big deal? Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not levelling his behavior with nazism or apartheid!!-but the premise is the same - relaxing a moral standard simply because the behavior is commonplace is a BAD idea.

 

I do respect your opinion, though, and if the guy wants to continue playing golf then fine, not my business. The fact that he's sold himself as a respectable family oriented brand is his problem, though. Had he gone down the Rock of Love route he wouldn't be having too many disasters with his sponsor right now, would he :D

Posted
Every single one of your post ROCK!!! Trimmer, especially, is dead on. I get it now why this is such a big deal. It's the BRAND, not Tiger, his wife, or the other women.

 

His personal life is screwed because HE SCREWED THAT UP. Therefore he deserves whatever happens, be it divorce, separation, whatever. I agree with this 100%.

 

His professional life is screwed because HE SCREWED THAT UP by not living up to the image he was PAID to present. This sucks! Buy hey, it's the business. He knew what he was getting into by signing the contracts.

 

So now I totally understand why many people, especially the fans are outraged by this. Many people feel betrayed, not surprised, by his indiscretion. And now I don't feel like a heartless idiot about this matter. Until getting clarification from you all, I was questioning my own standards, like have I begun to settle or something?? But now I got it. Thank you.

 

Cool post! I wish everyone was this open minded and genuinly interested in having their mind changed - great quality and quite rare.

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