Why men go for airheads

[Sam Spade]

Men are not repulsed by independent and smart women but so many of them lack the basics that attract a man in the first place. Methinks men like "airheads" because they're easier to manipulate. Women who catch on to other folks' schemes (male or female) aren't as attractive to those people who are up to something.

 

 

If a woman has the basics everything else will fall into place.

basics = a pair of hooters :laugh:

 

I have no schemes to hide. My experience with the so-called "smart women" is simply that apparently they have the capacity and the mental energy to cook up crazy, crazy ideas and assumptions about me. without basis on reality. An overactive mind, when not confined to scholarly activities and spills over onto relationships is actually not a good thing.

So, it's the other way around --> the so-called nice girl or "airhead" in my experience has been more likely to take the way I treat her at face value, rather than make crazy assumptions and baseless inferences.

Related, highly accomplished women are relatively more likely to have the "i'm better than you" attitude, and some are even constantly anxious that maybe they're missing out on a better deal.

Edited December 12, 2009 by Sam Spade

[FilthMerchant]

Most women come with hangups and problems about their rights (they have them all) and their responsibilities ("I have a right not to have responsibilities thank you very much!")

 

It is more often the case that educated women have the hangups/problems because they can rationalise away their problems more easily, claim superiority because of their education and so erect ridiculous standards, pollute themselves with misandrist feminism and act like spoilt brats who instead of admitting 'my behaviour makes me repellant to all men' would rather say 'no man meets my standards'.

 

When these women spot men going for the less intellectual they turn around and say 'he just wants someone easy to manipulate [because all men are evil manipulators!] because he can't do that to me, I'm too smart [noone can! i dont let any man near me!]'. At the end of the day, a man would rather a less intellectually intelligent (but more socially intelligent and aesthetically pleasing) woman who knows her rights AND responsibilities in life and in a relationship, than the more intellectually intelligent (but often less socially intelligent and aesthetically pleasing) woman who inflates her rights and refuses her responsibilities.

[Taramere]

The moral of the story is that no matter how well educated a woman is or how independent or smart she is if she is not an easy to get along with person and does not care about treating a man well none of that matters.

 

You've got an abusive mindset, Woggle. You know this already. You said in a recent thread that you inherited it from your mother, who inherited it from her grandfather.

 

Of course you'd feel happier and safer with a gentle woman who is well versed in avoiding conflict. A smarter and more self-assured woman, whether or not she has letters after her name, would call you on your maladjusted outlook on life. She wouldn't tolerate it - and that's the assertive approach some men regard as unwomanly.

 

Perpetually sweet, gentle, agreeable and nurturing is a common perception of how femininity should be - but it's potentially harmful as well as ridiculously idealistic. Although the ability to nurture small children is an important aspect of femininity, so is the ability to be assertive enough to protect those children, and to convey a sense of authority when laying down clear boundaries and guidelines for them.

 

You were brought up by a mother whose method of asserting herself involved, by your account, spitting at strangers in shops and being out of control on a regular basis. That's not "assertive" and authoritative on her part. It's chaotic and dysfunctional behaviour that no child, adult, employee or employer could possibly respect.

 

I'm sure whenever any of the educated, assertive women on this board start to carry on in the way that your mother did, they'll offer themselves up for a ticking off and a lecture from you on how to be a proper woman. Until then, I'd suggest you're not equipped (in terms of the upbringing you had and the skewed outlook you carry around with you) to dictate to women the business of being proper, "nice" women.

[calizaggy]

Filth, great post. Right on about rights and responsibilities..

 

And Nora, what I meant by "how to think" is more or less being indoctrinated in believing men are evil manipulators throughout history who cannot be trusted. Be independent! How can a man date a woman who thinks like this?

 

More often than not, a female who had not spent an extra 8-12 years in college will still retain more of the traits that make her a female that men desire.

[temple]

Wow, this is some impressive time traveling machine. I think we all went back to the 1910s right there...

[MadDriver]

The so-called "intelligent" woman is often times the type of person who would agree with statements such as "women are smarter than men". Completely empirically false, but since it is true in their daily experiences (they deal with male idiots and female airheads) they jump the gun at the generalization.

 

Women are often looking for someone better (in terms of financial, educational, and other achievements) to marry up. They meet such a guy, but then lose out in competition with less "intelligent" females. They feel they are being screwed. They've done everything right, gone to the right school, chosen the right careers, etc. why are the men not picking them? Men are just dumb, they think. Men are idiots who can't see that they are so much better for them than the airheads.

 

Such disrespect for the opposite sex that the so-called "intelligent" women show is the biggest turn-off to men. That is what such "intelligent" women don't understand and never will. (Truly intelligent people don't need external labels as stamps of approval... i.e. Harvard graduates don't introduce themselves with "Hi I'm Bob, I'm a Harvard graduate", physicians don't feel the need to be called Dr. outside of work (as some English PhD graduates, such as Dr. Laura)).

[Kamille]

Wow, this is some impressive time traveling machine. I think we all went back to the 1910s right there...

 

 

Welcome to LS.

[carhill]

Men like what they like. They approach whom they find attractive. If it ain't broke, don't call a mechanic

 

IMO, airhead or rocket scientist, unless a woman has a literal or figurative stiff arm out indicating 'stay away', she's going to get approached by someone who presumably finds her attractive. How receptive she is to that approach is entirely her responsibility. If she's got the arm out, she wants to be alone and I'm happy to oblige

[Woggle]

The so-called "intelligent" woman is often times the type of person who would agree with statements such as "women are smarter than men". Completely empirically false, but since it is true in their daily experiences (they deal with male idiots and female airheads) they jump the gun at the generalization.

 

Women are often looking for someone better (in terms of financial, educational, and other achievements) to marry up. They meet such a guy, but then lose out in competition with less "intelligent" females. They feel they are being screwed. They've done everything right, gone to the right school, chosen the right careers, etc. why are the men not picking them? Men are just dumb, they think. Men are idiots who can't see that they are so much better for them than the airheads.

 

Such disrespect for the opposite sex that the so-called "intelligent" women show is the biggest turn-off to men. That is what such "intelligent" women don't understand and never will. (Truly intelligent people don't need external labels as stamps of approval... i.e. Harvard graduates don't introduce themselves with "Hi I'm Bob, I'm a Harvard graduate", physicians don't feel the need to be called Dr. outside of work (as some English PhD graduates, such as Dr. Laura)).

 

Exactly. Female intellectuals often feel they are superior to men and have a misandrist mindset. You can tell by their whole demeanor that they have no respect for you and often men in general.

[torranceshipman]

A truly intellectual woman will never think that someone is inferior to them just because they have a degree, or whatever. They will have the humility that comes with a really good education to understand and appreciate different points of view, the value of different types of life experience, the futility of judging and stereotyping others, and so forth. At the same time, however, she might in a very realistic way understand what she needs in a man for them both to be happy, and that might (or might not) include an analytic mind and high IQ. She wouldn't be judging people without that as below her, not at all, she'd simply know what would work well for her as a compatible partner.

 

Secondly, there seems to be some misunderstandings about feminism on here. A blonde head cheerleader who struggles to pass her GED is just as capable of being a feminist as a physics professor, and at the same time, neither might be a feminist-it just depends on what their world view is.

 

Feminism is also a very wide field and some feminists staunchly disagree with each other, e.g. militant and liberal feminists. Liberal Feminism is a great thing to have in a girlfriend as it generally means she respects men and women as equals.

 

Any woman that spouts off about how clever she is and tries to make you feel inferior, etc, is, in my view just a pseudo-intellectual (annoying)-that's the type of person in my view that is rubbing the OP up the wrong way.

[carhill]

IME, a 'superiority' complex isn't specifically the perspective of 'intellectual' females, based on their intelligence and/or education, but rather engendered in certain personality types. In my own experience and relevant to my own attraction style, I enjoy an intelligent woman but find one who is so success- and achievement oriented to be tiring and competitive. Again, this goes to a compatible personality type. Intelligence and the impulsion to success/achievement, as defined by society, can be mutually exclusive.

 

When I get the sense that anyone, male or female, has no respect for me, then I accept that and make room for those they can respect. No single person is that important. Big world

[Woggle]

Feminism is not a great thing to have in a girlfriend or a wife. Ask my father what it is like to be married to a feminist. Every single enlightened man I know who married a feminist is either divorced or ended up with a woman that completely despises them.

[torranceshipman]

Feminism is not a great thing to have in a girlfriend or a wife. Ask my father what it is like to be married to a feminist. Every single enlightened man I know who married a feminist is either divorced or ended up with a woman that completely despises them.

 

Again - you misunderstand what a feminist actually is if you make such a sweeping statement. Again, I'll state that there are many types of feminist, some with extreme views. I think you are confusing feminism with something else, maybe misandry.

 

Btw from what I just read of your mother - believe me, she is no poster child for liberal feminism - not at ALL.

[Sam Spade]

You've got an abusive mindset, Woggle. You know this already. You said in a recent thread that you inherited it from your mother, who inherited it from her grandfather.

 

Of course you'd feel happier and safer with a gentle woman who is well versed in avoiding conflict. A smarter and more self-assured woman, whether or not she has letters after her name, would call you on your maladjusted outlook on life. She wouldn't tolerate it - and that's the assertive approach some men regard as unwomanly.

 

Perpetually sweet, gentle, agreeable and nurturing is a common perception of how femininity should be - but it's potentially harmful as well as ridiculously idealistic. Although the ability to nurture small children is an important aspect of femininity, so is the ability to be assertive enough to protect those children, and to convey a sense of authority when laying down clear boundaries and guidelines for them.

 

You were brought up by a mother whose method of asserting herself involved, by your account, spitting at strangers in shops and being out of control on a regular basis. That's not "assertive" and authoritative on her part. It's chaotic and dysfunctional behaviour that no child, adult, employee or employer could possibly respect.

 

I'm sure whenever any of the educated, assertive women on this board start to carry on in the way that your mother did, they'll offer themselves up for a ticking off and a lecture from you on how to be a proper woman. Until then, I'd suggest you're not equipped (in terms of the upbringing you had and the skewed outlook you carry around with you) to dictate to women the business of being proper, "nice" women.

 

For once I disagree somewhat:eek: (Out relationship is being tested !). Woogle's idiosyncrasies aside, there is a huge difference between being soft and feminine yet firm when necessary, and being loud and obnoxious about it ("I'm a woman, hear me roar":rolleyes:). It is probably not apparent to you since you're of the rare instances of a pro (laywer, I gather??) yet being perfectly mellow and compassionate in interactions with others (source - posts at LS:laugh:).

 

My gf fits the stereotype of totally cute and submissive and passive, but she certainly isn't going to tolerate bad treatment. Except that whenever the is upset about something she 1) thinks twice if it is worth a "serious conversation", and if yes - 2) brings it up in such a mellow and reasonable manner, that it's hard to argue with it.

She does have some problems with assertiveness, but is doing much better lately (due to the sage tutelage of uncle sam, naturally)

So, anyway, it only makes me respect her more rather than make me think "I can do whatever I want".

My reaction would be totally different to someone proclaiming with no provocation left and right "I won't tolerate crap" (Bitch, please )

[Woggle]

Again - you misunderstand what a feminist actually is if you make such a sweeping statement. Again, I'll state that there are many types of feminist, some with extreme views. I think you are confusing feminism with something else, maybe misandry.

 

Btw from what I just read of your mother - believe me, she is no poster child for liberal feminism - not at ALL.

 

It all falls under the same umbrella to me. What Calizagg is talking about are these women's studies classes in college that in actuality are training camps to turn women into misandrists.

[carhill]

Wog's, if you like Wikipedia, look up feminism there and read the perspectives. By the definitions I read, my mother was a feminist too, strongly believing in equal rights and responsibilities for women, and taking those rights and responsibilities seriously in her role as a wife and mother. She was a careerist before it was popular; a mother when she had me, and always a wife to her husband, remaining with him until his death. I think you're talking about radical feminism, which borders upon the hatred of men, presumably for the centuries of men (and society) treating women like property.

 

TBH, calling women airheads and suggesting it's attractive likely isn't going to get you where you want to go in life. Good fodder for an empassioned discussion however

[Sam Spade]

. Intelligence and the impulsion to success/achievement, as defined by society, can be mutually exclusive.

That's a much bigger problem than intelligence and achievement as such (which aren't "problems" at all for crying out loud ).

 

The most despicable women (and men) I've encountered in my life fit precisely the above definition: extremely strong drive for success, combined with Mediocrity (over compensated for with loudness and pushiness)

 

There is nothing more infuriating than a stupid person who is so stupid that they are incapable of acknowledging their limitatios

[torranceshipman]

It all falls under the same umbrella to me. What Calizagg is talking about are these women's studies classes in college that in actuality are training camps to turn women into misandrists.

 

Well there you go, we're singing from the same hymn sheets - we're talking aobut misandrists, not feminists. If a misandrist teaches women's studies and women stupidly buy into the man hating crap, then yes, you are completely right.

 

But if a liberal feminist is teaching that class, then you will get healthy debates and classes about what being female means, about female identity, etc. (and by liberal feminist, I mean a true liberal feminist, not a pseudo-intellectual misandrist who claims the title, in error, of liberal feminist, through misunderstanding the term)

 

By definition a liberal feminist thinks that men and women are equal, so are respectful of that fact. Any man hating you see is misandry (possibly also militant feminism, the crazy extreme of the regular moderate liberal feminism-liberal feminists would despise this approach).

[carhill]

There is nothing more infuriating than a stupid person who is so stupid that they are incapable of acknowledging their limitations

 

Is that another definition of 'airhead'?

 

My response, generally, is to nod politely and move on. Any time and energy spent there is vacuous.

[torranceshipman]

Lol, I often just smile, nod and move on politely when someone says something stupid to me, and I've often gotten the airhead label for it Sometimes people do assume I'm a bit stupid but I think it's funny when that happens so never feel the need to put them right

[calizaggy]

By definition a liberal feminist thinks that men and women are equal, so are respectful of that fact. Any man hating you see is misandry (possibly also militant feminism, the crazy extreme of the regular moderate liberal feminism-liberal feminists would despise this approach).

 

There is a difference between wanting to truly BE equal, and feel equal.

 

You do not see many women asking men out and planning dates, eager to pay their share, lining up to do back breaking dangerous jobs, wanting to support a man, willing to marry a poor guy, etc.

 

What higher education typically indoctrinates women with is putting in their heads that they need to be independent, and they were oppressed.

 

So many graduate with big loans to pay off, and what is the solution? If they ever want to mary and have a family, they need a "high earner" to support them, the family, pay off her debt, and keep her accustomed to her lifestyle which is built upon debt.

 

If she does get a high earning job, then "equal" means finding a man that makes more or equal to her. Since many of these high earning men might be players, or do not need her second income at all, they go for women they actually like. This leads women to crying "men are intimidated by me!"

 

The high earning men have a HUGE pool of women to choose from (basically all women), and the career women have a tiny fragment of the population of men to choose from.

[carhill]

Sometimes people do assume I'm a bit stupid but I think it's funny when that happens so never feel the need to put them right

Ya, and if you really want to mess them up, give them a hug

 

The high earning men have a HUGE pool of women to choose from (basically all women), and the career women have a tiny fragment of the population of men to choose from.

 

Sounds like it's pretty cool to be a high-earning man. A 'tiger' comes to mind.

Edited December 12, 2009 by carhill

[torranceshipman]

There is a difference between wanting to truly BE equal, and feel equal.

 

You do not see many women asking men out and planning dates, eager to pay their share, lining up to do back breaking dangerous jobs, wanting to support a man, willing to marry a poor guy, etc.

 

What higher education typically indoctrinates women with is putting in their heads that they need to be independent, and they were oppressed.

 

So many graduate with big loans to pay off, and what is the solution? If they ever want to mary and have a family, they need a "high earner" to support them, the family, pay off her debt, and keep her accustomed to her lifestyle which is built upon debt.

 

If she does get a high earning job, then "equal" means finding a man that makes more or equal to her. Since many of these high earning men might be players, or do not need her second income at all, they go for women they actually like. This leads women to crying "men are intimidated by me!"

 

The high earning men have a HUGE pool of women to choose from (basically all women), and the career women have a tiny fragment of the population of men to choose from.

 

Sounds like you've been hanging out with the wrong women as my friends and I aren't anything like that. Although I do agree with your point about college education encouraging to be independent. Being independent means being able to support yourself and not relying on a man to do that. Now, your other points are not related to feminism or misandry, they are relating to the values that someone have about gender roles: i.e. if a girl goes on a date with a guy, do they think they should split the bill, or he pays or she does? That is for the individuals to decide and if their views arent compatible then fine, move on and date someone who is. My boyfriend, for example, makes it very clear that he wants to pay for all of our dinners out, etc, and loves buying me presents, but if he didn't I'd happily pay half. We pay half on all bills at home but he usually pays for groceries (he loves to feel like he can provide for me - not saying that is right but we both completely share those values as gender roles in a couple, and so it makes us very happy, as we are compatible).

[torranceshipman]

Ya, and if you really want to mess them up, give them a hug

 

Hahaha! You know what, I am actually going to do that the next time it happens

[MadDriver]

What higher education typically indoctrinates women with is putting in their heads that they need to be independent, and they were oppressed.

 

Well said. Very well said. And all too often the "oppressors", the enemy, are pegged as the men in their lives.

 

I've literally told some of these women "I am not competing with you. I am not your enemy...". Avoid the hassle and go for the airheads.