deebeechrisyo Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Weee, first post! I've been reading LS the past month. At first it was to help myself cope after my latest break-up a month ago. Now though, I just find the information presented here very interesting and fulfilling, and I have learned a ton about myself as well as relationships in general thanks to the community here. Now onto the topic... I have a birthmark above the left side of my eye, stretching all the way down to my eyelid. Dealing with this was a nightmare through my childhood. I felt like a social outcast much of the time. Everywhere I went I recieved unwelcoming stares, and people asking me "what is that on your face?". I couldn't wait for the school day to end and to just go home. It was after high school where I decided to start improving myself as well as my outlook on life. As a result, I started covering up my birthmark with make-up. My life improved tremendously in college. I was much more confident, started dating, and was just immensely happer in general. I've been doing quite well ever since. I'm 26 now, and I know I am a completely different person from what I was growing up. Lately though, I've kind of stumbled upon an epiphany. I believe a big reason my last girlfriend broke up with me was because I am still very insecure about my birthmark (I'm not blaming myself for the breakup, as both parties are at fault here, but I'm not foolish to think that I shouldn't continue to improve myself if I can. Recognizing our faults in a failed relationship is a tremendous skill). I have a hard time expressing myself emotionally and becoming intimate because of this insecurity. I used to think it was the right thing to do, just forget this part of my life exists. Now, however, I realize I do not completely love myself for who I am. I was never comfortable with my birthmark, and that is something I do want. Yesterday I went out of my apartment for the first time without makeup or a hat on. It wasn't even that big of a deal, yay! I'm still going to cover up my birthmark, because I like to appeal to girls physically . However, I'm going to become much more comfortable with it. I'm going to start telling people that I have one, and not worry about what they think. I'm not going to be afraid anymore about going out and doing something without any makeup on covering up my fears. It feels better already to just post this here. Does anyone else have any life stories regarding their birthmarks or something similar?
quankanne Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 interesting post DBC – the topic is something that bears thinking about. my two cents? There are obviously people out there who judge a person by his or her appearance, but there are also those who are more interested in quality of character. The key to a happier outlook is to find folks from the latter group who see you for the kind, decent, friendly, loving, generous, etc. person that you are. Believe me, it goes a LONG way towards self-acceptance. good for you for making that step, because in facing your fear, you're conquering it. And it's a very liberating feeling to know that fear no longer has you in its grip
New Again Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 (edited) Eh, who cares about a birthmark!! It doesn't define you unless you make it define you. I guess I just don't really care about physical appearance that much, so I have a hard time understanding why others seem to, or do. I've had people tell me things like "Now that I know you better I know you're sincere" which I guess means they always thought I was full of **** when I say things like that.... Anyways, I like your attitude On a side note, one of the most confident and beautiful women I've ever know had a very large birthmark that covered about a quarter of her face...and this was in high school! I don't know if she faked the confidence or not, but she was very popular and came across as very confident at all times. She was one of the most popular girls in my class. She's married and has a baby now. Edited December 12, 2009 by New Again
johan Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I've had one my entire life. Above my eye and even up toward my hairline. Similar to Gorbachev's. Mine is probably bigger than yours. I never thought twice about it. It never interfered with relationships. I'm not saying that as a way to claim superiority. Only because how you feel about it is a state of mind. Good luck. Maybe removal is an option for you?
Explorer Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I can relate. Had many freckles and 3 noticeable birthmarks; 1 above my left eyebrow and 2 on my arms. Was prob about as self-conscious as you were so I decided to remove all 3 including my freckles a couple months ago. All are gone and couldn't be happier. The procedure is called IPL or AFT. You can get it done on your lunch break and will take about a week until the pigmentation comes to the surface and flakes off. The nurse said it could take up to 5 treatments but mine only took one. For a 5 treatment package on my complete face was about $1200. Good luck!
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