teanoranges Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 How long ago did you break up? How long were you together? How long have you been NC (or not NC)? How are you feeling now? Breakup in June after 2.5 years (but doesn't count as much cause we were off and on). NC 30 days and my head is starting to clear. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and hurdling for it! haha. wondering if this is a norm? or how it relates..
ItsAllGoodAgain Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 How long ago did you break up? How long were you together? How long have you been NC (or not NC)? How are you feeling now? Breakup in June after 2.5 years (but doesn't count as much cause we were off and on). NC 30 days and my head is starting to clear. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and hurdling for it! haha. wondering if this is a norm? or how it relates.. We broke up 2.5 months ago. We were together for 5 months. I've been no contact for 2 months. I feel fantastic at times. The highs are high and the lows are few and far between. I'm good with where I'm at.
Nikki Sahagin Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 How long ago did you break up? How long were you together? How long have you been NC (or not NC)? How are you feeling now? Breakup in June after 2.5 years (but doesn't count as much cause we were off and on). NC 30 days and my head is starting to clear. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and hurdling for it! haha. wondering if this is a norm? or how it relates.. We broke up 8 months ago. We were together for 2 years. We are in limited contact. Origionally no contact on and off. I am feeling a little numb but I have no hope and I can accept it. I think of him daily and miss him now and again but I feel calm. I have moved on overall.
soheartbroken Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Coming up to 5 months since break up of 5 year relationship (lived together at least 4) 4 months very strict NC -- initiated by her, the dumper Still struggling a lot. Mornings are especially rough. She's on my mind 24/7
Author teanoranges Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 you know, a day doesn't go by that I don't think of him, but I will have to say that it is less frequent during the day and also less emotionally charged? The thought of him is there, but I don't think I miss him as much anymore. Its like its one of those dreams or deja vu experiences more than an actual thought.
sean1970 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Almost 2 years together... Breakup in early July Breadcrumb Storms from her till September Drunk Dial + Drive = Total loss of self esteem in mid October ****ty text from her a week later, did not respond. NC for 59 days... Hurts when I let it... Loneliness has pretty much moved in where she was.
USMCHokie Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Broke up in mid-July after about 7 months...tried "friends" until mid-Sept...NC since... I'm not really sure how I'm feeling anymore...I feel like I'm over it but not over it at the same time...
madrugada Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 She gave the ring back at the end of September, but didn't offificially break it off until the end of October, so it's been a hellish time for me through the fall. I no longer show it (i.e. my co-workers say I'm looking better) but I'm still an emotional wreck. I will say this: I love this forum, and everyone here has been a big help. But I don't like this place very much, and what drove me here has been my worst defeat. And I've been NC for three weeks, but she texted me today, saying 'maybe I'll see you this weekend.' I don't think I'll be going out at all.
deebeechrisyo Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Broke up about a month ago, together for almost 4 months. NC immediately after breakup, and I'm feeling much, much better now even with me texting her (oops) over Thanksgiving. Luckily it was just a quick "hope you had a great Thanksgiving" text and it didn't really push me back, though I did regret sending it. She responded twice since but I've been adhearing to NC like a good boy.
deadboy666 Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 left me late september. we were together almost 5 years NC for a couple days im here and there. im doing better and better, but sometimes i get hit hard. made a mistake of looking at old pictures of us just now. whoops! but mostly, im doing allright. have lost 40 pounds since she left me and intend on losing 40 more and running a marathon next halloween. exercise has been my best distraction through all of this
nobmagnet Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 10years together. two children. He left in feb but came back again then I found out he had been having an affaire in early september and kicked him out I actually thought it might bring him to his sences but he didnt want to come back. I have been off and on the rollercoaster since then. He went to austrailia with his new woman for nearly a month only contacted the kids once. The NC helped me and the children sooooooooo much. I had to see him last night when he fetched the kids for the weekend. I made a big effort to look my best (i did look good) I told him I was going out with a freind. He couldnt take his eyes off me I was bubbly and excited about going out. When he got home he text me to say how amazing I looked. I text back and said thank you. so how do I feel.........i am over him. Its a great place to be. I could never have him back because of the total lack of respect he had for me and the family. yep I am feeling better
MassEmotions14 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 We broke up 1 month and two days ago when he broke off our engagement. We were together for about 2 years and engaged for 8 months. We've been in no contact for a few weeks... however, it's been very limited contact before then. I feel terrible... everyone keeps saying that it will get better with time, but I'm not seeing it. I certainly have good days and bad days, and I look forward to the point where the good days will outweigh the bad ones, but I'm not there yet. I just miss him like hell... it's by far the worst pain I've ever felt. I wish I could be angry, I'm just hurt. I dread the weekends, have a hard time at night and in the morning when I wake up...
sean1970 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 We broke up 1 month and two days ago when he broke off our engagement. We were together for about 2 years and engaged for 8 months. We've been in no contact for a few weeks... however, it's been very limited contact before then. I feel terrible... everyone keeps saying that it will get better with time, but I'm not seeing it. I certainly have good days and bad days, and I look forward to the point where the good days will outweigh the bad ones, but I'm not there yet. I just miss him like hell... it's by far the worst pain I've ever felt. I wish I could be angry, I'm just hurt. I dread the weekends, have a hard time at night and in the morning when I wake up... One thing I have noticed is that, while the pain from the breakup does fade, a new despair will replace it if you are not working on yourself as well. Hobbies, fitness, work... what are you doing for you these days?
twinklecat Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 How long ago did you break up? How long were you together? How long have you been NC (or not NC)? How are you feeling now. Broke up late October, together 5 years. Been NC for 4 days, was pretty impossible prior to this as we were still living under the same roof. I have good days and bad days atm, I guess it was a bit like breaking up all over again when I moved out last week. Still not totally moved out, got a few bits of furniture to shift, which will be happening Wednesday, not too sure how I'll feel being back at the house, but looking forward to putting this whole mess behind me for good.
MassEmotions14 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 One thing I have noticed is that, while the pain from the breakup does fade, a new despair will replace it if you are not working on yourself as well. Hobbies, fitness, work... what are you doing for you these days? Sean - I'm trying to do things for me... trying to be gentle and doing things that I want to do. For the first time in a long time, I'm trying to be a little selfish. I'm going to work everyday which has been really helpful, although some days are easier than others for me to concentrate. I've planned two trips for the winter - one to FLA, and one to Aruba. I've done a fair amount of retail therapy, which has helped. I'm trying to take things one day at a time - if I think too far ahead, I get overwhelmed and feel frustrated. I will also be starting therapy, which I'm hoping will help me work through my thoughts and feelings.
adamt Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Broke up nearly 7 months ago together for 3 years been in NC for nearly 7 months with just 1 time when we bumped into each other. I am feeling ok, although she is on my mind sometimes. been on a couple of dates recently and found someone i really like and hope things develop in 2010.fingers cross. she has the potential to be better than my ex. never thought that would happen 6 months ago. i think 5 months was the watershed where i felt i was really begining to move on and make efforts to meet someone else and felt happier on myself
Printer Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Been apart for nearly 1 year. Married 17 years, been together for 24 years. We have spent the last year in LC because of our son. I have to say that it has been the hardest year of my life. Still think about her every day, but it is getting easier, she was the dumper. I just wish I could fast forward another six months or so and maybe I will have moved on. I would love to have her back in my life on an intimate level but that is totally out of my control. I just keep working on myself and have employed a hypnotherpist/life coach. This has proven to be a good investment as I now have a more positive outlook and friends have noticed changes in me. I think Christmas is going to be the hardest time not just for me but also the W. She will have plenty of time on her own to reflect as she will soon find out that her so called friends will go back to their own families for the festive period and she will be alone in her flat, pulling crackers by herself. And in the meantime myself and my son will be enjoying spending this time, like we always have done, with our family, while the W who fell out with her family a few years ago will have nowhere to go. It will be so nice to have the upper hand for once!!!!
lostinthesupermarket Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 How long ago did you break up? How long were you together? How long have you been NC (or not NC)? How are you feeling now?.. 6 weeks ago. 6 years. Still living together as flatmates/friends (there hasn't been anything sexual or romantic going on in our "relationship" for a looong time before the break up, so it's not real change). Feeling like I would like to meet someone who wants romance and sex and fun and will make an effort to have a really special relationship. Not feeling that I'm all that special myself at the moment, and not feeling I'm ready to start looking yet. Feeling that I have a lot of work to do in my life (career/education, fitter and slimmer, confidence, social life...lots of stuff) that I've been neglecting, both for my own good and to (hopefully) bring someone into my life. Feeling apprehensive, hopeful, empty, relieved that I've finally broken it off after 2 years of agonising about whether I should or not, a bit annoyed about the time I've wasted hoping it would work out and the effort I put into that...feeling pretty sure I made the right decision.
brock9911 Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 This is gonna be the 7th month since my ex and i broke up, and we were together for 8 years. i honestly rarely even think about her anymore. than again for almost a whole year we were at each others throats. she cheated on me a year b4 our breakup and we never recovered. she in fact dumped me because she though i cheated on her...which never happened. all i can say is tiime is a true healer. iv met many new people. made a lot of new friends. met new girls, had some flings, but it feels nice to be independent, even though i do miss the connection and the relationship, we had deff grew apart. the holidays are lonely though
Author teanoranges Posted December 15, 2009 Author Posted December 15, 2009 These are really interesting.. I'm sure there's a pattern that connects the healing time, etc... just out of reach... I think its good to remain positive but still allow the pain when it needs to come out..
Kantor Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Originally Posted by teanoranges How long ago did you break up? How long were you together? How long have you been NC (or not NC)? How are you feeling now?.. Broke up 1.5 months ago, together 4 years. Lived together 1.5 First 2 weeks were her trying to get back with me, next two weeks were NC by me, next two weeks were me trying to get back with her and now almost 2 weeks of NC on both sides. I have been doing very well with the exception of today, I think I saw her, reminded me of her. Miss her dearly. I messed it up, broke up, and she doesn't want to risk me breaking her heart again. I think the worst part is knowing I broke my own heart by my actions.
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