MissJoness Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I have heard about friendships ending between women, because one gets more attention than the other when they go out. Usually when I go out by myself, men don't always approach me. yet, if I am with another female friend, no matter what she looks like, suddenly men will approach us, and then flirt with one, while ignoring the other. I feel like men often try to wage competition between two women. I've been in this situation before and I find it quite uncomfortable. Even at the mall, I've had this happen. I'll be enjoying a nice afternoon with my friend, and some jerk(s) will aggressively approach and try to steal the attention by hitting on one of us. Yet if we were by ourselves the guy would have never bothered. I have a lot of anxiety when hanging out with other women. Even when we go to the mall, i fear that my friend will get hit on more than me, which will make me feel very unattractive.
bean1 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 MissJoness, have you considered seeing a therapist over this? It seems to preoccupy your life and really isn't very rational. I'm 100% serious about that.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 MissJoness, have you considered seeing a therapist over this? It seems to preoccupy your life and really isn't very rational. I'm 100% serious about that. Agreed.
Author MissJoness Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 MissJoness, have you considered seeing a therapist over this? It seems to preoccupy your life and really isn't very rational. I'm 100% serious about that. Why isn't it rational?
boogieboy Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Because you said that when youre with your friend, guys come up and hit on one of you. When a guy hits on you out of the blue, its supposed to be a good thing! Get a number, a date, stuff like that....
temple Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 It's not as bad as the other posters make out, but perhaps you're reading too much into this. Just because your friend may get more attention on average does not mean you're unattractive. Jealousy is the most unattractive quality, try to fight those little green monsters every time a guy comes up and give him the benefit of the doubt!
torranceshipman Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 That sounds like a very unhealthy friendship to me. You need genuine female friends where both give a damn about each other, not friends who spend time thinking about who attracts the most male attention.
Els Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 It's not as bad as the other posters make out, but perhaps you're reading too much into this. Just because your friend may get more attention on average does not mean you're unattractive. Jealousy is the most unattractive quality, try to fight those little green monsters every time a guy comes up and give him the benefit of the doubt! I think they were talking more about her general stream of posts, not just this particular one.
Waitress Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I think they were talking more about her general stream of posts, not just this particular one. Yes, I think so, too. I'm not on this board all that much but when I am there is usually a post from the OP expressing her feelings of inadequacy. It's sad.
carhill Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 That sounds like a very unhealthy friendship to me. You need genuine female friends where both give a damn about each other, not friends who spend time thinking about who attracts the most male attention. Agreed. Different friends and a different mall would be in order. TBH, although the OP seems to project a consistent air of inadequacy, it's possible that men's perception of her is entirely different and they are intimidated. There is a game theory outlined in 'A Beautiful Mind' which promotes the strategy of cooperatively going for the allies of the intended target to generate interest and competition. Perhaps some of the 'jerks' buy into that theory.
Recommended Posts