Awesome Username Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Hi! I know that I also posted this in the Watercooler area, but I think it applies more to the dating section. Also, I think you have to be a member to view it and I'd like as many people to see this as possible - I'm not sure if I'm breaking any rules here but I apologize if I am... *** This is mostly for guys, but women might know a little of what I'm talking about. I've seen a lot of threads where a guys have absolutely no idea why hot women are so materialistic, and why plain or "fat" girls (their words, not mine) are real and normal. These plain girls somehow cost or expect less. I'm not bashing guys or anything, but hotness (not natural beauty - but hotness) cost money. I know that a lot of you out there believe that a lot of women are just born with perfect skin or perfect "tousled" or highlighted hair. I was curling my eyelashes one day and my dad walked in...he's dated hundreds of extremely beautiful women in his lifetime...and said, "What in the HELL is that?" He really didn't know what goes into a women's beauty routine. It made me realize that a lot of guys really don't know this stuff. I'm going to break it down a little bit: Women have to get their lip waxed once every four weeks, and eyebrows done at about the same time. That's about 20-30 dollars, and this is BARE MINIMUM upkeep. More ladies do it once every two weeks. Do the math - that's 10 dollars a week. This is why there are so many salons around, and many men have no idea why there are SO DAMN MANY nail salons everywhere. Nail salons probably do more lip waxing than anything, but it's seen as shameful and so it's hidden as a nail place. Women generally are told not to tell men that they wax their lip, but they do. Makeup costs a lot of money. My coverup (This isn't even blush, lipstick, or anything) costs me 35 dollars on sale and I have to get a new one every month. This is 35 dollars a month on JUST coverup. About 80 percent of the women that you see that you think are not wearing any makeup, are wearing coverup. The cheap coverup at Walgreens costs about ten dollars, and usually doesn't last very long so it's almost about the same $-wise. Lipstick on the cheap end (wet n wild doesn't count) is about eight to twelve dollars. That's right - twelve dollars for F#!$%T# covergirl lipstick. Mascara is cheap, but dries out your eyelashes. If you want the kind of mascara that doesn't ruin your eyelashes that you buy at Macy's that's about 20 dollars. Blush is about seven dollars. Lipgloss is cheap. Eyeshadow is about five dollars if it sucks, and about fifteen dollars if it's good. If you know a woman that wears a TON of makeup and always looks her best, she is likely spending about a hundred dollars a month on makeup. Yes, this can happen - especially if there's a really hot gothy chick that is really creative about her eyeliner and buys top-of the line eyeshadow from Urban Decay. If you like a women with completely smooth legs and a brazilian down there, there, the waxing can cost more than a hundred dollars. But this is for your super high end, Beverly Hills chicks. HAIR!!!! Hey guys, hair costs a lot of money to get cute. Like the highlights in that hot chick's long hair? Those are about 120 dollars in a salon. If a girl straight irons her hair, the iron costs her about 50-100 dollars. The serum that you use with it is about 20 dollars. Every hot female in Hollywood with that long, sexy hair (Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, Beyonce, etc) has hair extensions. To get hair extensions done well, we're taking about 700-1000 dollars. Don't get me started on how much black women usually spend on their hair products - sometimes hundreds of dollars a month. Bras are about 40 dollars each, and good nylons run about ten dollars. I will say that women DO have an easier time finding more cheap clothing than men do, because of the selection. For instance, a man's jacket might be twice as much as a women's jacket. BUT let's say you see a BEAUTIFUL 9 or 10 at a bar. I'm not even talking implants, crazy shoes, botox, extensions or anything like that that Hollywood beautiful girls have- just really made up, long beautiful blonde or highlighted hair and cute heels with a sexy dress on at a club. This is hypothetical, but realistic: $$: Hair: 100 Makeup: 50 cute dress: 50 shoes: 50 nylons: 10 Cute bra/underwear: 40 nails done: 20 eyebrow/lip wax: 20 tan: 20 purse: 80 (yes, that's about average for a nice one) We're talking over 400 dollars that she's spent on JUST her looks. Maybe not all at once, but a woman who has the means and wants to stay a 9 or a 10 in the traditional sense can easily fork over 400 dollars a month minimum on keeping up the beauty. So guys, unless a woman shows up to your date in sweatpants and a t-shirt with no bra, please think twice about thinking that a woman doesn't have to spend any money on dates and that guys do all the work. Surely you're not all dating high maintenance hotties, but you would be surprised at how many decent looking ladies with nice clothing and a professional demeanor spend about 200 dollars a month just to stay that way. This stuff can get expensive. I wish more guys knew that the ladies that they pause and stare at walking down the street had to put money down to get that way. It's subjective and I know that many of you might say, "I don't care about all of that stuff!" but trust me, your eyes do.
laRubiaBonita Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 i guess i am one of the "plain" girls then...... *my husband cuts my hair ONCE a year *i do not get color treatments on my hair *i have had my nails done only a handful of times and never have i had a pedicure *i do not get anything waxed *i buy cute undies when they are ON SALE *i shop at second hand stores- or i take hand me downs from friends- or buy clothes when they are ON SALE... if at all *i only wear cover up, eye liner, mascara and i do use an eye lash curler- when i want to look all fancy i wear lipstick *i have never bought a purse over $45 obviosly i am not a fashionista.... i do not have to have the latest and greatest- especially those ugly ugg type boots with leggings- i did that in the 80's and guys tell me i am a hottie frequently
shadowplay Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Word. Men always say they prefer natural chicks, but they don't realize that attractive women who look natural are often just really good at concealing how much time they put into their appearance. Oh, and I notice a huge difference in the amount of attention I receive based on how hard I upkeep my appearance. For instance, if I wear blah/drab clothes, little or no makeup and somewhat messy hair, I go completely unnoticed. I put a lot of time into my looks and suddenly I'm "hot" according to guys.
kizik Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 And women who put that much time, money and effort into their appearances are... wait for it... Shallow as the kiddie pool at a dwarf convention.
kizik Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 if I wear blah/drab clothes, little or no makeup and somewhat messy hair, I go completely unnoticed. I put a lot of time into my looks and suddenly I'm "hot" according to guys. Wait... so making yourself attractive makes you more attractive to guys? This is my daily shocker.
shadowplay Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 And women who put that much time, money and effort into their appearances are... wait for it... Shallow as the kiddie pool at a dwarf convention. Then most attractive women are shallow. The vast majority of very attractive women put a lot of time into their appearance. You guys don't realize it, but we women know. I don't think it's shallow. They do it to look nice for themselves, and because they realize that what men say they like and actually respond to are two different things.
shadowplay Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Wait... so making yourself attractive makes you more attractive to guys? This is my daily shocker. My point is doing the bare minimum doesn't usually get you noticed.
Author Awesome Username Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 i guess i am one of the "plain" girls then...... *my husband cuts my hair ONCE a year *i do not get color treatments on my hair *i have had my nails done only a handful of times and never have i had a pedicure *i do not get anything waxed *i buy cute undies when they are ON SALE *i shop at second hand stores- or i take hand me downs from friends- or buy clothes when they are ON SALE... if at all *i only wear cover up, eye liner, mascara and i do use an eye lash curler- when i want to look all fancy i wear lipstick *i have never bought a purse over $45 obviosly i am not a fashionista.... i do not have to have the latest and greatest- especially those ugly ugg type boots with leggings- i did that in the 80's and guys tell me i am a hottie frequently Likewise, I do not spend my money on all of the stuff I listed either. I'm a casual lady too. I think that spending a lot of money on a purse makes no sense - why would you want someone to steal your purse MORE? I am a frequenter at Goodwill and don't buy good mascara. But the women who are not casual DO spend ungodly amounts of money on it!
kizik Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 My point is doing the bare minimum isn't enough for a lot of guys. If I don't shower for three days and then throw on a hoodie before going to the bar, muddy pants, etc... you're not going to be too attracted to me, either, shadow. This is not some "guys-are-judgmental" thing. We ALL do it.
shadowplay Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I usually do just above the bare minimum. I'd like to put more effort in but I don't have the money to. My routine is pretty basic: 1) wash hair daily, blow dry about twice a week 2) wear cheap makeup daily (concealer, lipstick and mascara) 3) My clothes are pretty meh and I end up over-wearing things since my wardrobe is so small.
shadowplay Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 If I don't shower for three days and then throw on a hoodie before going to the bar, muddy pants, etc... you're not going to be too attracted to me, either, shadow. This is not some "guys-are-judgmental" thing. We ALL do it. Lol. I said bare minimum. That's way below.
Author Awesome Username Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 And women who put that much time, money and effort into their appearances are... wait for it... Shallow as the kiddie pool at a dwarf convention. I'm assuming you're a guy. If you could spend a day as an absolutely HOT woman, you would certainly see the reason for it. The thought system behind spending the time and money is shallow, yes, but the treatment you receive reenforces it. Not only do men feel honored when a beautifully done-up women listens and hangs out with him - other women do too. The media absolutely shoves the image of what hot women are supposed to look like down both men and womens' throats, and the media is always trying to SELL stuff. Part of it is "Hate the player, or hate the game!" If you are a good looking woman, you're simply treated better and promoted faster at work as well.
kizik Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Well, having read your threads about your struggles with dating, perhaps it's time to think about putting more effort into your own appearance. You can't do the "bare minimum" and then complain about no results. You can't have it both ways.
kizik Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 If you could spend a day as an absolutely HOT woman Hey HOT woman, no one cares. Enjoy being hot. And don't complain about it.
torranceshipman Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Seriously, you spend all that? I usually have a french manicure, and pretty much hairless (apart from my head obviously, lol!), eyebrows always tweezed, spray tan, pedicure, regularly have a face pack treatment, hair treatment once a week....I wear make up every day but not so much, and asfar as lipstick goes, I usually wear tinted lip gloss which is cheap but very lovely and moisturizing. BUT - big but....I do ALL of those treatments myself at home. So they cost very little. I'd personally think it's crazy to pay someone else to do all that. The only thing I fork out for is my highlights because I won't mess with that myself. It's my way of pampering myself...it's lovely to take a hot relaxing bath, and go for some of these treatments and just chill out with a movie and a glass of wine. I don't see why that would make me shallow at all - I just enjoy taking care of myself (I also eat well and exercise a lot - important to me to look after the inside and outside of my body). Personally I just couldn't imagine spending a lot of my hard earned cash on all that, though.
northstar1 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 If I don't shower for three days and then throw on a hoodie before going to the bar, muddy pants, etc... you're not going to be too attracted to me, either, shadow. This is not some "guys-are-judgmental" thing. We ALL do it. That was called "Grunge", and was common back in the early 90's
jerbear Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Lol. I said bare minimum. That's way below. :lmao: Bare minimum...:lmao:
phineas Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 My point is doing the bare minimum doesn't usually get you noticed. It does if you have a personality. I absoluty can't stand it when a woman primps in front of me or takes an hr in the bathroom. WTF are you doing in there? I'm hungry. were just going to the steak house. I also can't stand stinky body lotions, hair gook that makes you look like you swam to the date, lipstick. I don't like lipstick. I won't go out with a woman that wears a lot of make-up. I prefer the woman that barely wears any or non at all. Their out there. I've been dateing them all my life.
InspiredbyYou Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 i obviosly i am not a fashionista.... i do not have to have the latest and greatest- I knew someone would list off the things you did, and believe me the difference will show, hence what you said in the end that I quoted. Not trying to be disrespecful towards you but yes you can definitely cut corners and do it the super economic way but the difference will show. In what the OP is talking about I think she's right, the "look" takes a lot of dough!
sumdude Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Sure, there's no doubt that it costs money to maintain 'fashion beauty'. Many women look amazing when they first get out of bed with hair messed, no makeup in sweats and all. That's natural beauty which is only amplified with the 'fashion beauty'. Some have to work a lot harder. You can put a $10K paint job on a Chevy Chevette...looks better but it's still a Chevette only shinier.
torranceshipman Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Oh yea, just wanted to add...I enjoy beauty treatments and looking after myself for me - not for a man. It's a happy coincidence that men go for this look too (although I am probably too much of a casual dresser for most guys, in terms of sexiness, etc, but whatever, I like it!). I've noticed on this thread that people default to thinking women do this stuff to attract a guy. Maybe the majority do, I have no idea - but I don't. If I'm happy then great, anything that men like about me after that fact is satisfied is one big bonus
jerbear Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 In what the OP is talking about I think she's right, the "look" takes a lot of dough!Yep! I would have to add I was "fortunate" enough to experience the costs, long story; but the end product was GREAT. She was turning heads and guys were looking at her.
InspiredbyYou Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Many women look amazing when they first get out of bed with hair messed, no makeup in sweats and all. That's natural beauty which is only amplified with the 'fashion beauty'. Sure, sure that's all great and having fack me knots in your hair can be quite the turn on for men too, so I've been told.... But we still have to go out and face the world, lead corporate lives, and play the part socially. It's not cheap at all when you want to portray a certain level of image. It's not about looking ugly without it it's about polishing what you already have to work with. Big difference.
threebyfate Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I'm of the belief that if you resent maintenance, don't do it. Your beauty regime should be something you enjoy doing for yourself, rather than just a way to attract a mate. It's like staying in shape. People who do it for themselves, for health with the by-product of looking good, will keep doing this, even after they've "landed" a mate. Someone who does it just to attract a mate, will stop doing it, once they're in a serious LTR, whether that's in the first year or in the tenth year.
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