mickleb Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Twinks! Where have I been?! I am so sorry I didn't reply earlier. In honesty, I thought - oh good, Twinky's back to let us know how well she's coping: what a trooper! I'll check in with her and we'll have a giggle, in a minute - but nay! She's not happy! Not liking this at all. So, just when you've escaped the frying pan that is the house you shared with him, you have to contend with the fire of the workplace you still share with him? Ugh, is the word. (I used to have a badge that said 'Legs is the word, spread the word'. I WORE IT TO SCHOOL! That's just wrong isn't it? I digress..) I guess I want to say I know that you CAN take this? You've taken so much Shinola that's been chucked at you since that fateful day that, much as it tires you, you CAN wipe off a little more. You know, you CAN also always say to people, ''Er, excuse me but can you just shut the f*ck up about that, please or I am GAWN! Just watch me, now!''? I suspect that you do know that but that you are not the type to go tell people to f*ck themselves? Fair enough. You have the right to, politely, though. Choose your words, carefully, then let them out. Take care, little one. You're lovely. x
Author twinklecat Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 Hey mickleb Don't worry about not replying, I was in a hell of a mood that night when I got home, but well it's behind me. I know I can take this, as I've taken far worse these past few months! Since then I have had a number of awkward moments of people in work asking what the deal is with me and ex, and where you're completely right, I'm not the type of person to tell people to f off, I'm now just being frank as in "we're no longer together *changes subject*" I have had some good feedback from people though, saying they had absolutely no idea what was going on, as it's not noticeable, in that I come into work, do my job and I'm apparently quite cheery! So that's really amazed me that bar the odd slip up here I'm doing well. ^^ It's still difficult though, but then again life is not supposed to be easy all the time, as it'd just be boring! I'm still questioning to myself if I am going to stay in this country, I'm going to try and stick it out this year, as I really want to be independant and work on myself, if I go back home now, I'll fall back into old habbits. I also don't want my emotions to cloud my decision making. How have you been by the way? ~twinkle x
mickleb Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Oo - that's more like it. I am damned good, thanks for asking. Only the disposable income to work on.. Gah! Wages: can't live with them, can't live without them. x
Author twinklecat Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 Glad you're good! Well, had a pretty eventful few days. Went out to see a film and then to a work night out. Met so many new people and caught up with old friends, didn't get home till 6am, the joys of the single life hehe! I also became an aunty yesterday!! I had a brief moment where I wanted to ring him, but screw it, none of his business. Feeling a bit emotional over that more than anything atm, because it's not going to be till Feb that I can get to see my nephews. And I do not know what has happened this past week, but the hurt has minimised dramatically. I do not have that horrible heavy and sad feeling hanging over me anymore. Sure I have a long way to go, but I think that's yet another corner turned, go me!
Author twinklecat Posted January 31, 2010 Author Posted January 31, 2010 TWO Nephews My sis never does things by halves hehe. Have been having to make do with photos on facebook (has made me a tad bit homsesick) holidays are booked for feb, just need to sort out flights, cannot wait to see them!
Author twinklecat Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 So I'm at about 2 months NC, I'm really proud of myself! Didn't think I'd ever be able to do this, but I have! It can never be full NC while I'm in this country, as I work at the same place as him, but it's rare that I do speak to him, and when I do its strictly work related. After the initial bouts of him trying to contact me, I guess he got the message I wasn't going to entertain his "friendship" he offered, as since then, no attempts to contact me, although he still likes to play little games, standing near me bragging loudly about him and the new girl, his new life etc, and ya know what, even though it hurt, I smiled on the outside, as well I don't feel the need to do that to him or anyone, it actually made me feel better as a person, as I don't need a relationship to validate or define me So what have I been doing in these 2 months? Well I have focused more at work, my performance has really gotten better, especially these past 2 weeks! I've just about got my apartment sorted, last of the few niggly things to go! I've taken charge of my finances! I've gotten over my fear of flying (flying again in a few weeks too ) I've made quite a few new friends, and my social life is starting to take off. I've lost close to 2 stone in weight. I've been taking more care of my appearance and my general well being. My outlook on life is way more positive. Which brings me to quite a big decision I have made. I've decided I'm gonna stick this year out in this country, learn to stand completely on my own two feet, and save as much money as I can so I can go home to my family and go back to college and hopefully Uni to study Nursing! It's something I have always wanted to do, and it's my biggest regret in life that I never stuck at college, so nows the time to change that regret! While I still have my bad days, I am getting much better each day after that! I know that I will continue to work on myself and I will get somewhere in life, and no-one is going to hold me back! ~Twinkle x
McGrupp Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 **** yeah! yer awesome! love to see people in the community living life!!!! moving on!! keepit going and follow those dreams!
ginyi1111 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Oh Twinkle you've gotta teach me on how you are coping so well! My ex works in the European branch of my office (im based in Asia) and it makes me go crazy when I see his work mails. I dont know how you could do it seeing him day in day out with another girl! How do you get over the hurt and pain when he's like rubbing it in yer face everyday?? My ex hasnt even been in contact with me!
Author twinklecat Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 Hiya ginyi1111, I'm really sorry you're going through something similar, and an experience like this makes me think never to get involved with a work colleague again! Sometimes I really don't know how I cope, as I do have my moments! But I realise I have alot of love and respect for myself, so I will not let them bring me down! I guess I have coped by turning the attention to myself, making me better and taking control of my life. It helps by blocking both of them out too, sometimes I can have slip ups but generally I just imagine they aren't there, they do not exist - works like a charm! x
Author twinklecat Posted March 18, 2010 Author Posted March 18, 2010 WHY is it, like what, 5 months on I still miss the C*NT at times? *sorry for bad language*
Author twinklecat Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 Uh, I was a tad bit annoyed last night, had a date that was like the date from hell, but I'm feeling much better now, infact even giggling about last night now. I think though I'll leave dating for the time being!
mickleb Posted March 19, 2010 Posted March 19, 2010 I'm LOVING that language from you, tc! One bad date does not maketh a spinster. You'll be right, don't worry. x
Author twinklecat Posted March 19, 2010 Author Posted March 19, 2010 Hehe thanks Mickleb, and I know one bad date doesn't mean they all will be, but, I dunno, don't think I'm entirely ready yet. Still it's good to giggle about hehe. How have you been? x
mickleb Posted March 20, 2010 Posted March 20, 2010 Have been a tad stressed, twinkoff, due to an excess on the old workload but am now in a very good place. Dating. It's a lark, eh? I'm sort-of dating, myself. I like it! Nice to see you back on those twinkly toes of yours. x
Author twinklecat Posted March 21, 2010 Author Posted March 21, 2010 Aww sorry to hear about the stress, I hope you're okay, you're one tough cookie so I'm sure it'll all be fine! ^^ Dating is certainly a lark, something I've realised, it's a bit of a minefield out there haha! Decided just gonna sit back, and well live my life, and should I meet anyone along the way it's a bonus! Oh, and well, latest achievement of mine, realised last night I've lost 4 stone since October (yeah quite alot) finally lost all that crappy weight I'd gathered, so I feel ALOT better about myself. Seems when I put my mind to stuff I can really achieve things. Also, still on the up at work, today is a good day
Author twinklecat Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 Long time no post from me, thought I'd give you guys an update, if you're all still about that is Things have been really good for me. Had my 3 month review at work, reached and surpassed all my targets, generally all round positive, go me! Secondly, I've met someone!! It's early days but he's absolutely amazing 6 months ago I never thought I'd feel like this! I just want to say to everyone going through their breakup, it really does get better. I really wouldn't change what happened to me for the world. It's made me a stronger person and I have learned so much about myself. Stay strong and look to the future! ~twinkle x
mickleb Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 How delightful! Of course you have, you lovely thing, you! Thanks for letting us know and keep in touch with how it all goes. You bloody trooper. x
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