corbis02 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 In a nutshell: Married my pregnant girlfriend in H.S. That lasted 4 years. Moved home, met my current wife, became friends. This was 2001, I was 22 she was 17. We had a 2 week fling when she turned 18. This fling included a threesome with a girl of her choice. She was very open with me about being bi-sexual. After this fling she returned to her ex-fiance and I was heart broken. I began dating other people, and about 6 months later my current wife (J) shows up out of the blue again and ends up sleeping with my Girlfriend at the time (K). My girlfriend (K) and I broke up and the two of them started dating... this lasts a couple months. Fast forward a few months through a bunch of drama. she gets pregnant by me, we move in together and get married a year later. She tells me the "women thing" will end after having kids/ getting married. I must point out: I have NEVER been so in love with a girl as I was with her... for various reasons... After a first couple years of marriage... rocky to start with... she tells me she misses being with a woman... I am open to this of course.... any guy will say "Sure... a repeat threesome?!?!" But.... she says "No, we are married now and I don't want you there with another woman." I want to "date" a woman separately. I am not terribly happy at this idea, I tell her I feel left out/ unwanted. I tell her that it's not what I signed up for when we got married. I tell her that I love her. I tell her I want her to be happy and if she needs to do this even knowing how much it hurts me then I will try to deal with it.... (not knowing even where to begin) She decides to go ahead and date her ex-girlfriend (K) (my exgirlfriend as well) and they go out for a couple months. Dates, flowers, notes, texts, making out, messing around in parking lots in cars... etc... but according to my wife no full on sex... So (K) has a boyfriend at the time who says "enough is enough" and (K) breaks up with my wife. Who is stuck in the weird position of comforting her.... me. I think maybe this is done with. Fast forward 3 years. We have our baby boy in 08 (planned) and a short 3 months later my wife is talking about dating women again... :facepalm: She decides to start talking to/ seeing (S). She is another EX-GIRLFRIEND of mine who we are both friends with. *SIGH* this is starting to really wear on me at this point. I tell her the same as before, we discuss everything in depth multiple times. She says I am not doing anything wrong, I am very satisfying sexually and emotionally. She just needs a woman too... I tell her I just don't know/ don't have the capacity to deal with this. If she wants to "Play" with me involved then fine, but I can't take the seperate emotional/sexual relationship. We go to TWO marriage counselors who both say she needs to stop the "woman thing" until we get our relationship ironed out. she refuses to go back to either after they say this and becomes very depressed, cries, says she feels like I am denying her "who she is". We coast on our tenuous hold of our marriage for the next few months until I finally say "Look, just do it, there's no point to you holding back if you resent me for it" They start dating in earnest, flowers, notes, texts, gifts, emails, long phone conversations, most of which I try to ignore. about 6 weeks ago she informs me that since I "Gave my permission" she has booked a hotel room with (S) and is not coming home that weekend night. She accidentally leaves up an email to (S) later that day talking about how shocked I looked and commenting on how she didn't care. I told her that I am not prepared to handle this and I don't know how I will react to this actually happening. She tells me if I want to "stop her from following her heart" I better do it now and not the night of the event.... So... I kept my mouth shut. I felt trapped like never before.... how do I stop her... it would be all my fault... I want her to choose me... I want her to love me enough to say "I know this upsets you and I love you so much I don't want to hurt you" She didn't. She packed my duffel bag with sexy sleepwear, several toys, candles, music, etc... and left me alone that night. I took the kids to my parents and went home and tried my hardest not to think about what she was doing or when I couldn't block it out, I tried not to think about killing myself. I am not normally like this.... I don't have suicidal tendencies... ever.... I don't think I could ever really do it. I just can't do that to my kids, and my religion makes me to scared (ironic). lol The next morning she calls me on her way to breakfast with (S) she sounds happy, bubbly, completely satisfied, etc... I am silent... I don't know what to say... i tell her I just had the worst night of my life... then I hang up on her.... she comes home and all hell breaks loose... we fight/ make up/ fight again... continue cycle for the last 6 weeks. I am thinking about leaving now. Something has to GIVE. I can't take the pain, I am not enough for her... or W/E the problem is....
mark982 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 my take is, she isn't bi, she's gay and just used you to have some kids. if you can't handle it pack the kids up and leave, or toss her out.
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