loveblues Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Ok, hi everyone. I'm also wondering as many of you, what could happen next, and just wanting some other guys/girls different perspective. (help) here goes: I'm in my early 20's my now Ex is 31. (this wasn't an issue) we only dated for over 2 months and a half. short but lovely romance..It was great, he was good to me and vice versa, everything was ok, until the break-up. Over something so small as an argument gone really bad, and two hard heads who can't commit yet. He contact me recently on Oct 25th, and it was the so called "Hey how you doing" typa talk.. (I didnt understand what it meant because when I've broken-up in the past they never called me back) And so I thought I could ask that question of, Why are you calling me? when I was the one who broke us up, even though he wanted too. But I couldn't ask it didnt come out, I can tell you we were both nervous and enjoying the conversation, but in the end nothing happened. He didnt even say we were going to remain friends, & I was relieved because I would never want that. This what ill never take from any men after a relationship, a friendship. As time has passed he calls me once a week, the last time we spoke on Dec 1st It would've been our 5th month anniversary, He told me to call him once a while, don't be a stranger. I was unsure of what it meant, but I still agreed. The other stuff he's told me already like twice, its been that he doesn't care about the past anymore, it's just the present and future important to him. He said it again last time we spoke. So Im thinking since he never again has mentioned about our break-up or none of our relationship, does it really mean he would never consider us together as a couple we once were? **I mean has anybody who's really broken-up have gotten back together, If yes, where are you guys I need some advise! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> __________________
Boundary Problem Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 1. you have to deal with your past with him 2. He's not phoning to be friends. What do you want from him.
Author loveblues Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Ok, I know I'm willing to talk about whatever upset us both so much, but he told me. He doesnt wana talk about the past, or he doesnt care anymore. only present nd future. consequently, he still told me he wanted me to call once a while, I mean he's really not the guy that goes back to an ex either.. I mean can u see how he's sending me mixed signals..? or is it just me.. I dont wana loose him but I wish he told me his real intentions.
bluestraps Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 First , You broke up fairly quickly so niether of you handled the arguement well. Learn about conflict resolution. He may be using online advice on how to get an ex back. He hasnt talked about the fight or your short past relationship. That is usualy a part of the strategy. You broke up with him so hes really trying to get you back. Hes calling you too much . Do you feel he's nagging you ? Are you considering trying again. Ask him if He'd like to meet .
Author loveblues Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Really!? does it seem like he's doing that... No he doesn't really nag at all now. He did before but now he's just calm.. Am just too shy to ask him to 'Lets meet up' idk how to ? Ok last time I told him i was gona visit his grandma because I did got along with her fine, so we agreed but I never showed up.
p_spot Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 one thing i've learned over the years is that if you're unwilling to deal with the past, then you'll never be able to learn the lessons needed to make changes for the present and future. he (and you) have to be able to deal with what went wrong before, so that you don't fall into the same patterns and behaviours.
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