PHMustang2000 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 long story short is my gf who has been my ex for a while because i moved away is getting back with her first ex (the one she dated before me) but her ex cheated on her and was a real jerk even when they are in friends status. How could she go back with a cheater? I told her i don't trust him and i am still going to be a friend to her if it goes downhill. she says she trusts him and so does her mom. I just have a gut feeling that this guy is still a scumbag and hasn't changed. What should I do?
stayingstrong12 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 i think that you should let her be with this guy so she can realize for herself that hes not good for you because thats the only way shes going to learn.
Author PHMustang2000 Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 The thing is I don't think he really cares for her. It feels like a act and my poor ex who already has been through enough. I try to at least guide her down a right path but i aint working. She isn't listening to me. She is 28 and wants to be married and have kids before 30. This is only going to take her down a dead end road.
Boundary Problem Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 1. Are you sure you don't want to date her? Seems like she is dating him because you moved away. 2. If she is set on children by 30, then that is what she will do. Women only have so many child-bearing years. 3. Your instincts about this guy are probably accurate. 4. Let's fast-forward 5 years. She's in a serious relationship with the loser, has a child or two and is miserable. She emails you constantly saying how miserable she is. - what do you do? You are going to end up in an EA with her when she is married to this loser. You cannot protect an adult from their own foolish decisions (I learnt that one the hard way). I don't see a reason for you to throw you heart away, because you are going to get your emotions tangled in a knot as you try and get her out of the mess in 5 years. And she will take you for granted, because you have always been there to bail her out. My advice is to come at her hard now with why you think he is a loser. And then go NC. Perhaps in time you will find each other again. Perhaps I'm being harsh, but I think you are just trying to do the right thing and the deck is stacked against you at the moment. But her situation is unstable.
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