Pizzaman81 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Ok, So to me holding hands on the second date is not cool. The girl I am dating tells me, "Can you hold my hand?" Should everyone know that we're dating by holding hands? I think walking and holding hands is pretty intimate. Maybe I'm just not interested. So when do you girls expect a guy to hold your hand while walking? After the kiss? before the kiss? At what stage of the relationship? Or is it even a relationship?
Author Pizzaman81 Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 TO elaborate, I don't feel right holding hands when I am also dating and talking to other girls at the moment. I mean a small kiss goodnight fine... but i don't know, am I freaking out?
quankanne Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 hmmm ... unless you're a touchy-feely sort, most of us consider that a public display of affection, one that isn't made unless the relationship is on a bit more solid ground.
Scarlett513 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I think it's a personal preference, but I don't blame you for not being into hand-holding on the second date. To me, hand-holding seems to be announcing your couple status to the general public, so in a way, yes, it is significant and intimate. The only people I hold hands with in public are the people I'm really crazy about, and I can't usually determine that in a span of two dates.
jw90063 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Ok, So to me holding hands on the second date is not cool. The girl I am dating tells me, "Can you hold my hand?" Should everyone know that we're dating by holding hands? I think walking and holding hands is pretty intimate. Maybe I'm just not interested. So when do you girls expect a guy to hold your hand while walking? After the kiss? before the kiss? At what stage of the relationship? Or is it even a relationship? I wouldn't feel comfortable holding hands on the second date. I had a guy do this once-he was very touchy-feely and it just felt uncomfortable to me. I personally have to be to a certain point in relationship before holding hands in public.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I think it's a personal preference, but I don't blame you for not being into hand-holding on the second date. To me, hand-holding seems to be announcing your couple status to the general public, so in a way, yes, it is significant and intimate. The only people I hold hands with in public are the people I'm really crazy about, and I can't usually determine that in a span of two dates. Agree 100% -- and would add that you're annoucing couple status to each other, too. I mean, this is almost as serious as her asking you to pick up pads for her.
boogieboy Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Holding hands so early seems like it could be her test to see if you are into her enough to take her seriously. So if you dont, its possible that she might bail, if you care.
jw90063 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I think it possibly could be a sign someone is wanting to rush the relationship, or maybe even a sign they are a bit too clingy.
pandagirl Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I love hand holding! My last two STR, the guys held my hand on the first and second dates. But, note: they were SHORT term relationships! So it didn't necessarily mean anything, just that they were really into me at the time.
Boundary Problem Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Hand holding is a territorial thing. It is an invasion of person space AND it is an announcement (of some sort) to the world. It is always a chore when one feels like PDA and the other doesn't. Some people are into PDA way too soon when dating.
Author Pizzaman81 Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Thanks everyone for the insight. I knew there was a reason why I feel awkward. Well.. I guess I'll just have to tell her it's making me feel uncomfortable early one. NEXT
Yukikazi Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Err so you are gonna drop her cause she asked you to hold her hand on the second date? Dude its just hand holding. If it makes you that uncomfortable.. then realize there are 2 versions.. with or without fingers intertwined. Intertwined fingers is more of a bf/gf style hold.. Just holding her hand with your fingers together would be considered a more friend style. You can kiss her but not hold her hand??
Author Pizzaman81 Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Err so you are gonna drop her cause she asked you to hold her hand on the second date? Dude its just hand holding. If it makes you that uncomfortable.. then realize there are 2 versions.. with or without fingers intertwined. Intertwined fingers is more of a bf/gf style hold.. Just holding her hand with your fingers together would be considered a more friend style. You can kiss her but not hold her hand?? No NEXT meaning next time. Ya kiss is fine. Hold hands not now. Sex sure... don't touch my hands. No just kidding.
trueluV Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Hey pizzaman81, i read the posts you replied to my thread on initiating a physical contact, and now i find you here. btw, thanks as you've said, and i'm a girl, i wouldn't feel comfortable if a guy wanted to hold my hand on a second date, even though i found him attractive. I think this hand holding thing is more than just attracted to the other person-it's about intimacy in terms of a relationship. I think i held hands with a guy when we were in a relationship or i got serious with him. i think kissing is less intimate than holding hands, and I'd probably kiss a guy than hold hands with him and walk if it were early stages of dating. are you attracted to this girl though?
Curious-One Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 i think it depends on the girls...some girls are really touchy feely while others like to keep to themselves especially in public
Author Pizzaman81 Posted December 16, 2009 Author Posted December 16, 2009 Hey pizzaman81, i read the posts you replied to my thread on initiating a physical contact, and now i find you here. btw, thanks as you've said, and i'm a girl, i wouldn't feel comfortable if a guy wanted to hold my hand on a second date, even though i found him attractive. I think this hand holding thing is more than just attracted to the other person-it's about intimacy in terms of a relationship. I think i held hands with a guy when we were in a relationship or i got serious with him. i think kissing is less intimate than holding hands, and I'd probably kiss a guy than hold hands with him and walk if it were early stages of dating. are you attracted to this girl though? hey there Trueluv. I hope I didn't contradict myself. Ya it's weird, I feel that giving a small kiss goodnight is less intimate than holding hands in public. I am attracted to this girl at first, but she became so clingy and wishy washy... and airy fairy... I am not attracted anymore.
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