How much tolerance do you have for excuses/flaking when first meeting a woman?

[bbasher75]

Just met a girl, we seemed to click and I asked her out. She said she'd "let me know where she was" when I got off work, and to text her (bad sign right away). I texted her and she didnt reply. Half hour later she says "oh sorry...my phone was in my pocket I didnt hear it". Of course I'm on my way home, at this point. And she knew that.

 

I could see it coming a million miles away lol. When do you know a girl is a flake? Right away? How many chances do you give girls like this before bailing?

[soconfusing]

If a girl really wants to date you, she won't lead you on, then blow you off. Yes, she may try to play hard to get, since apparently a lot of guys love the chase. Hey, I said apparently... I would suggest giving it a few days to a week. Then maybe give it one more chance. Another thing, if you suggest a date and she turns it down, if she wants to see you, she'll at least suggest another time. If she is in fact a flake, she'll give an excuse why she can't make it and won't bother trying to suggest something else more definitive.

[ZeGuitarist]

My personal number is two chances.

 

Unless it's pretty clear from the get-go that the excuse is b.s, or unless she offers up another time (in which case, I might be willing to give her a third chance to follow through.) But if she flakes after that, even if it's not that she's not interested, you're going to constantly be fighting her flakeyness until you get fed up with it down the road.

 

I do, however, distinguish between flaking in terms of "Oh, sorry, i'm busy" and no-shows from late returns on texts/phone calls. Especially if you're texting, it shows a lack of urgency. If she wasn't answering/returning your calls, on the other hand, it would be a different story.

[phineas]

I only give them a second chance if they come to me & explain why they blew me off.

 

Otherwise I just don't contact them again.

 

I am at a point where I wont waste my time or energy on someone who does not return my interest.

[silic0ntoad]

I agree with Phineas. If you flake once, you're cut off.

[D-Jam]

Just met a girl, we seemed to click and I asked her out. She said she'd "let me know where she was" when I got off work, and to text her (bad sign right away). I texted her and she didnt reply. Half hour later she says "oh sorry...my phone was in my pocket I didnt hear it". Of course I'm on my way home, at this point. And she knew that.

 

I could see it coming a million miles away lol. When do you know a girl is a flake? Right away? How many chances do you give girls like this before bailing?

I launch right away. I won't tolerate the avoidance tactic.

 

If she really is acting sincere and wants to make it up to me with a FIRM OFFER of HARD PLANS, then I'll give her a second chance.

 

"Oh geez...I am so sorry. My phone was out of power and I didn't get any messages. I assumed you didn't call. I feel like such an idiot. Let me make it up to you, you want to get dinner on Tueday?"

[bbasher75]

I think in general men and women of a certain age group are prone to flaking behaviors. In my observations generally the younger you are the more likely it is you’ll just become oblivious to something you had planned.

 

It is painful to have a person flake out on you but plan for that possibility. There was a very large chance this would happen when your only plans with her was texting her after work and you did get a reply just a late one, a girl who really doesn’t like you might not reply at all.

 

I’ve had it work out with girls who were flakey with me in the beginning and I’ve also had flakiness to levels that I just assumed they didn’t like me and this would continue indefinitely. You have to figure it out for yourself, and realize you’re only hurting yourself if you give up on a girl too early and that you really suffered no actual injuries from this flakiness other then pride.

 

So you don't consider wasted time, energy, and effort to be of importance? No injuries? I could have made plans with another chick that night who would have liked to have been with me. What about that?

 

Do you buy her excuse "didnt hear my phone" thing? Cmon. She didnt want to hear her phone.

 

Why hurt yourself thinking you have a chance with a girl instead of cutting the cord early? Why let her stomp on you several times, over a period of time, only to waste time and get attached to her thinking you have a chance?

 

Wont the pain be much greater if you keep stringing it along? its not just about pride...what about heartache? Humiliation? Why put yourself through that?