cr1223 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 So I will be regularly seeing my ex when I'm out with mutual friends - beginning in about a week. I've been NC for 12 days, but that will be pretty much shot as we will be around each other. So I have been thinking about asking her to talk. I want to say a couple things to her. First of all, we blew up at each other last time we talked. I wanted to apologize for that so we can at least be ok around each other. I know she won't initiate anything like that, so I might as well. Second, I recently found out she had told some of our friends I had done something which I did not. I don't need people thinking this, and I would like to clear that up. I think both of these things are fine for me to do. But, I'm very tempted to also tell her that I still have feelings for her and care about her. I'm telling myself it would just be to put it out there, and see if the door is open. If not, completely move on. I'm afraid though that I'm really just refusing to let go of hope, and that I'm just setting myself up for further rejection. As well as throwing away some dignity. The weird thing is that I feel like I've been making a lot of progress with moving on, but I'm still very tempted. Go for it, or terrible idea?
Kic Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I know you are very tempted to break NC, as we all are at times, and this situation seems like the opportunity to do it! But don't! Based on what you've said, I suggest staying with NC. It hasn't really been long enough. Maybe hang out with those friends another time - is this possible? It also shows her that you really feel like she is at fault and are taking steps to move on and not see her. Setting the record straight about that lie while she is there is also very risky. You want to do things like that when she is not there, or if it's not a big lie, then just let it go. People ought to know to take complaints about an ex with a grain of salt due to the bias and emotions still running.
kickintheaz Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Don't do it.. Stay NC.. if you absolutely, cannot avoid it, have to be around her, smile, be polite and talk to your other friends.. People don't listen to talk about exs or put much faith in em (unless they are firmly planted on the other persons side) so don't feel ya have to clear stuff up unless it was breaking a law serious and then talk to your friends when she's not there as suggested by kic.. Don't initiate anything, be the bigger man here by being a man and not acknowledging anything.. you'll thank yourself in the long run..
Template Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Everything you said is a just a recipe for bad goulash. "put it out there", tell me that you are clinging to some hope that you guys can reconcile. By her actions alone, it most likely seems that she does not. Sounds like she broke up with you, and is still trying to hurt you. That's just plain BS my friend. If you share the same friends, an they are TRUE friends to you as well, they'll know whatever she says is true or not. They'll also understand if you don't want to attend events that she is a part of. Don't overthink things, and don't think about her. If she just happens to be somewhere you didn't expect her to, just live your life, show her you don't need her, and that you are just fine without her.
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