Should I just let her go

[confused1987]

orry Guys this is a little long, but I would appreciate your help.

 

A little over three years ago I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, at the moment I was heart broken. But, about a month after that I met a girl at a party, for whom I felt something right away (Note: that sort of stuff doesn’t happen to me often at all, as I don’t fall for every girl I like). It appeared to me that she felt something as well, because I caught her eye on me several times that night. About a week later I met her at another party, and ended up getting her number and giving her a ride home that night. So we began talking, she played her fair share of hard to get, and I played along (the usual stuff). After a few weeks another guy became interested in her as well (so I had some completion), meanwhile, we were still talking, meeting up and hanging out. But, I began seeing the other guy around her more often, so I stepped up my game. I was also leaving back to my university in few weeks (summer was coming to an end), so I wanted to get the show on the road before I left (she lived only 2.5hrs away from my school, so in my opinion it wasn’t that long of a distance, besides I planned on coming home every weekend). So the night before I left, we ended up hanging out at the beach with a bunch of our friends (about 20 of us and the guy that liked her was there as well). After a while I grabbed her aside and took a little walk with her, so we ended up making out and after a while I drove her home. In the morning we met, and I asked her out and she told me that she needed some time to think (fine by me), so I gave her a little over a week. A few weekends later, I was home from school, and we met. She ended up telling me no, and her reason was the distance, fine by me again. So I move on. About a month later I learn that she ended up being with Mr. Competition, and eventually moved in with him. She also called me and asked why I don’t I call her anymore, and that she did not mean for it to come out this way (her being with that guy). I told her I was busy with school, but you guys understand the reason why, she was with him (why the hell am I gonna call her). I maybe saw her once or twice after that during spring break of that school year. I was fine, moved on and was enjoying college.

 

So two years have passed and I’ve been dating other girls, did my fair share of college partying/hookups (basically there were other girls in my life). But, for some reason I thought of her on occasion (not often at all, but I admit she crossed my mind during those 2 years), even when I dated other girls.

 

So last summer she sends me a text on my birthday and a month later gives me a call, according to her on accident (reason being pressing the wrong name in her phonebook). We ended up talking for over an hour, and I kept it really casual, but she managed to hint that she was not happy with him (it was pretty obvious), yet she still lived with him. So I pay no attention, and think of it as a friendly conversation. Two months after our conversation I saw her online and decided to send her a message, I really just wanted to say hi (no intentions at all). We ended up chatting online for a while (5 or more hours). She told me a lot of things (almost as if she wanted to give it another chance), how great of a guy I am, and that she was not happy about her decision-making, she also kept on brining up the night we made out. So I get really into it again, and we started to text each other almost on daily basis. I refused to give her a call, because I didn’t want to show her that I was too interested (I was also seeing someone at school, not seriously though).

A week or two after I’ve contacted her I had to take a business trip, and it so happened that she was visiting family in the same city. So we decided to meet. Going on that trip I left my phone at my college place, but left a post on my profile that I did. She ended up sending me her phone number online and telling me where she would be that night, and that I should come through. I already made some plans and read that message after I came to my room that night. She saw me online and asked me why didn’t I come, so I explained to her that I read it only few minutes ago (we did not meet that night). We planned on meeting for breakfast, but I overslept and again we did not meet (I did not stand her up, we just did not meet). Another week had passed and I found out that she still lives with her boyfriend, so I cooled off and again turned to friendly mode. she learned that I was coming home the following weekend and asked me if I can meet her for coffee, I agreed, but once I got back home I decided to meet with my friends that I haven’t seen in a month, so I tell her to stop by a lounge where I was. She never did (I guess she wanted to talk eye to eye, I don’t know). I wasn’t too disappointed, besides she was still with him. So I went through the rest of my Sr. year of college without contacting her.

 

So I’ve graduated this spring and now moved back (she knows that), and about 2 months ago she sends me a text, again on accident (same reason). So we dropped about 15 lines each and at the end I tell her we should meet for coffee sometime (just to catch up). She agreed and then tells me that I hope Christina wont get jealous (I have no idea who Christina is). I don’t know if that was her way of asking me if I was single, beats me (she is confusing as hell at times). So I tell my self that’s enough don’t think about it, it was an accident and she was just being casual and friendly (we never met for coffee). So I let it go. A few weeks ago I was at a bar where her best friend was, and her best friend’s boyfriend (I know the guy pretty well) comes up to me and tells me that his girl friend told him that she (the girl I am talking about) still thinks of me, and always wonders if she would of told me yes. A few minutes later he tells my cousin (who is his best friend) that she still loves me (what the hell loves me? She still lives with her boyfriend). For the passed few weeks I’ve been tempted to contact her, but the thought of her still being with her boyfriend stops me. I just don’t like the idea of talking to the girl that has a bf.

 

Here is her situation, her dad passed away when she was a teen, her mom moved away with her boyfriend and her brother does his own thing (she doesn’t really have anyone except her boyfriend). So yeah she is stuck (im not sure if she can afford financially living on her own), but also I know for sure that she is not happy with him, and the right thing for her is to move out. Some people tell me she needs a push (mostly girls) and my best friend tells me not to contact her, because she needs to take a risk of knowing that she may not be with you and move out on her own. I am about 50/50 on weather to contact her or just seal this subject away and never think of it that way (just let it go). The point of this whole thing is that I wanted to see what you guys think about this whole situation (should I contact her or forget and never touch this subject ever again). I do want to see, what she feels, but also the thought of her still being with him is driving me crazy (even given her situation, I still think its not right). But, I would only be lying to myself if I said I don’t feel anything for her. I know I had these feeling on and off, but to be honest after dating a good amount of girls, she is the only one that has stuck around in my mind (I don’t even think about my ex who I think I loved) Should I contact her or just let it be. Please let me know, ill appreciate any comments.

[USMCHokie]

I honestly have no idea why you kept in contact with her all this time...especially if she was still with that guy...leave this alone...seriously...stop having phone conversations and hours of online chatting...those that are "unhappy" in relationships will look for any source of attention to get their quick fix...then they'll go back to bed with their partner...

 

Good lord, please let it go...the only reason you still think about her after all this time is that you never had her...people tend to obsess over things they can't have...it's human nature...

[confused1987]

Thanks, I guess you are right, time to closed that door. I just began questioning things after I found out things from her best friend's boyfriend. Thank you