Els Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I've been pleasantly surprised more often than unpleasantly surprised, although I'd attribute that to uncanny intuition. Still, I think the answer to this is easy. You want to not be let down, just try to stop thinking about it before the day comes! Analysing every bit of it typically isn't conducive to that.
Boundary Problem Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 And depending on how long you have gotten to know each other will dictate how much time you are willing to give it. If met on Plenty of Fish and emailed for 2 days and meeting for coffee - they better be WOW on impact (they never are). If met online and emailed for months and good friendship - be respectful and allow the in-person relationship to catch up with the intimacy of the online relationship - ie go out a few times before you make up your mind. Meeting in person will be jarring - just because it is other-worldly from where your online relationship exists. How you react to the adjustment will be dictated to how much faith, respect you have in the connection you have. Proportionality.
Author pandagirl Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Oh - and trust your intuition. Usually my intuition is spot on, but I don't know what it says right now. I've never felt this way about anyone I've met online. Even though I've done online dating before -- and met guys I've really liked through it -- I just don't want to get excited, because it's impossible to know what will happen when we actually meet.
looking4 green grass Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I haven't gotten really excited about any guys I've met online, yet. But I usually get a meeting within the first week or so if I think there is any potential. I'm so worried I'll build a fantasy man up in my head, and then be totally crushed when they turn out to be a total loser. lol Good luck! I can't wait to hear how it goes!
Author pandagirl Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 I think I am being played by this guy. There is no way a "normal" guy can make such grandiose proclamations about me -- a woman he has never met. He's either emotionally immature, or trying really hard to get in my pants.
b52s Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 This post really spawns another question. I think there's really NO chemistry (or at least not that much) Chemistry online, than in real life.....there's no facial expressions displayed, body language, etc. If you have the gift of gab, then maybe. But, what I get a kick out of is if a woman says there was no chemistry between her and the guy that emailed her, I ask, "So you haven't met in person, so how was there no chemistry" You can't really determine that, until you FINALLY meet, but there are some people who even give that a whirl. So you see a lot of good people being passed up because of this.
Yamaha Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I think I am being played by this guy. There is no way a "normal" guy can make such grandiose proclamations about me -- a woman he has never met. He's either emotionally immature, or trying really hard to get in my pants. Do you guys talk on the phone or just on-line? If it's just on-line then I think your 2nd observation is spot on.
Peaceful Guy Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Anyone here have stories who crazy chemistry via email/IM, but nada in real life? yeah, and honestly i get crushes on people here sometimes too! really, no creep! i mean, i think its kind of natural and fun, but the mind can fill in all the blanks with stuff it likes because there's not really a whole person in front of you. but then again.. that's just my take on it.. i can also say this, because ive met in person with people from the net that share similar interests as me.. its not all bad. def. its hard to guess what someone really looks like, but ive found, at least for friends, i usually like their personality more in person. people tend to be VERY boastful, cocky, whatever, on the net.. and in real life they are more chill and respectful.. but then, that's not romance.. also, i should add, ive met some REAL ****ing creeps that seem harmless enough on the net.. be careful!
jw90063 Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I think I am being played by this guy. There is no way a "normal" guy can make such grandiose proclamations about me -- a woman he has never met. He's either emotionally immature, or trying really hard to get in my pants. Why are you all of a sudden saying you think you are being played? What all is this guy saying to you? Maybe if you gave some better examples, it would be easier to tell if he up to no good.
Peaceful Guy Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I think I am being played by this guy. There is no way a "normal" guy can make such grandiose proclamations about me -- a woman he has never met. He's either emotionally immature, or trying really hard to get in my pants. well, i think theres some truth to that. but, cut the guy a LITTLE slack, i mean he IS all enamored with YOU! he might be swept away with legit feelings, and not have experienced them before to know they might not lead to what he thinks.. but then, if you're not comfortable with that, that's cool i think. really, he's prob. very eager to meet you. if you think its safe (and that's a big IF), i think you should meet, ride the romantic wave and enjoy yourself. by that i mean, walk in the park, dinner in the city, dessert by candlelight.. you know, whatever.. make a whole night of it.. im sure hell treat you like a queen! you dont have to commit, but you could still enjoy the romance.. i mean, im not suggesting you USE him in any way if thats what that sounded like.. but unless hes telling you about where he wants to put his balls, it sounds like he WANTS to have that kind of romance.. like, what was that christian slater movie where he sees the girl through the window and then takes her on a wonderful day long date adventure??.. wait a minute.. that WAS a little creepy..
jw90063 Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I may have over looked it, but I think we need to know the age of this guy and the OP. Also, as I said more clear examples of what all he saying to her over a period of a few weeks.
Peaceful Guy Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Do you guys talk on the phone or just on-line? If it's just on-line then I think your 2nd observation is spot on. well, i dont know if thats true, but i DO think it would be a good idea to talk on the phone.. actually, that's great! p.s. yamaha.. i usually love your insights.. seriously.. really, really smart!
jw90063 Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 well, i dont know if thats true, but i DO think it would be a good idea to talk on the phone.. actually, that's great! p.s. yamaha.. i usually love your insights.. seriously.. really, really smart! How is that rocket science, because he asked if they talked on phone or just chat? :confused:I mean I thought of that myself, but she said they have talked by IM. I would think they would have talked on the phone at least once, but maybe they haven't. Whether its on the phone or by chat, there are clues as to what the guys intentions are. I've talked to guys strictly by chat or phone, and for me its easy to tell if they are genuine or not.
Author pandagirl Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 Do you guys talk on the phone or just on-line? If it's just on-line then I think your 2nd observation is spot on. Just online. Although, we have each others phone numbers and text each other. Last night he texted me: "Pandagirl, I cannot stop thinking about you." Followed by: "I want nothing more than to be with you right now." Why are you all of a sudden saying you think you are being played? What all is this guy saying to you? Maybe if you gave some better examples, it would be easier to tell if he up to no good. See above. He also says sexually charged things to me, like how he wants to kiss me and stuff like that. He also says how he just really likes me and knows it's weird that he does. Tells me he misses me, and how intelligent I am. Followed by more comments about how attracted he is to me. I may have over looked it, but I think we need to know the age of this guy and the OP. I am 31, and he is 28.
northstar1 Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 He's built it into a fantasy in his head and being the interweb, it is easy to 'talk the talk' and make grand assumptions about what great chemistry you have and how great it will be when you meet etc.
Yamaha Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 He sounds like a player. Has he spent much time in getting to know you or is it mainly sexual flirtation?
Author pandagirl Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 He sounds like a player. Has he spent much time in getting to know you or is it mainly sexual flirtation? We have talked a lot over IM. Like, hours. So he knows things about me. He's also made some astute observations about my personality that were spot on. However, I think all of his "sweet talk," is mainly driven by his intense sexual attraction to me. Which he makes clear. Often. I'm not taking his affections seriously. I might be down for a brief romance, but that is all I am expecting. The thing is, he is a smart guy. An architect who went to an Ivy League school. But I know that exempt him from being a potential tool!
Yamaha Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I agree. You should look at him as short term, for now, unless he deems himself worthy of longer consideration.
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