Yamaha Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I love these people who state, " I just can't be attracted to anyone who isn't a 9 or a 10". They have no idea what real and lasting attraction is.........
Author BookerT Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 I love these people who state, " I just can't be attracted to anyone who isn't a 9 or a 10". They have no idea what real and lasting attraction is......... I love those people that are so arrogant and ignorant they state how others should feel.
Author BookerT Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 I agree that you should have left sooner, since feelings of love can't be recreated. Are you certain you ever loved her? From the sounds of it, I would say not, at least not real love. Plenty of people fall out of love. You ever love your ex husband? You don't need someone to do something bad to fall out of love. What kinds of conversations do you consider non-mundane and intellectually stimulating? What do you consider to be materialistic? Non day to day stuff. Materialistic, as in you are using someone. No different from if I was only with a woman to use her for sex. Notice how you consider "make a decent living" as being a positive trait to bring to the table? If materialism bothers you, why would you consider "make a decent living" to be positive? Do you understand where I'm coming from about this? Men want sex. Women want a man with a decent career. That's different from using someone for it. If your selection criteria prioritizes the physical, head and shoulders above the rest, why would a well-rounded woman be attracted? I never said it was above the rest. I wouldn't marry a 9 that's materialistic, hence the reason for this thread.
Jersey Shortie Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I love those people that are so arrogant and ignorant that they are unabashedly vocal about their preference for very attractive people but don't want a person's attraction to them be based on equally superfical and no less important external factors such as their income. I also love Christmas lights.
Author BookerT Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 I love those people that are so arrogant and ignorant that they are unabashedly vocal about their preference for very attractive people but don't want a person's attraction to them be based on equally superfical and no less important external factors such as their income. I also love Christmas lights. See this is where you totally miss my point. I agree with you. I just don't want a woman to love me ONLY for the money, like I would love a woman ONLY for the sex. No one likes to be objectified. Male or female. I like beautiful women just like a woman would like a man with a good job. But if I was ONLY with her for the sex and nothing more, that's different, same if the woman was ONLY with me so I can buy her dinner.
Author BookerT Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 (edited) Yes. I'm the arrogant and ignorant one. You are actually. If I don't get turned on by a woman. I don't...........duh. You want me to take 10 viagra to get it up when I am not actually attracted? People with options can't help being only attracted to more physically attractive individuals. You might not have options and can't get 9's or 10's so happy with a 5 of a 6. That's good for you. Once you have the option it's hard to settle for less. That's human nature. Human beings find it hard to trade down once they have something better. It's called greed, it's in our nature. Don't idealize too much. MOST people don't act out the ideals we hypocritically say we should follow. That might include you too in some other aspect of life. Edited December 12, 2009 by BookerT
threebyfate Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 BookerT, I don't fault you for your laundry list. But anyone with a grocery list, has to realize that their target audience is much smaller, than someone with less expectations. As someone who also had a grocery list, I knew it narrowed the field of interesting men, down to a very small percentage. I happened to have lucked out on finding someone who filled and exceeded my list. I wish you all the best in finding what you're looking for. Just be patient, quit'cher belly aching by generalizations and realize that these are YOUR requirements v. what bar women have to "rise" to.
Jersey Shortie Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 To begin with, I think rating other's on a scale is more about the scale raters personal insecurities and an attempt to control the situation around them then anything based on actual fact biology or what is ultimately going to make anyone of us happy. What you consider a *9* or *10* could very well be a *4* in my eyes. (And by the comments you've made here that's probably the case). So by you trying to ply off a situation that people are only hating on you becaue your this wonderful catch with so many options is quite obviously false advertising. No one here is idealizing or idolozing you BookerT for your self proclaimed wonderfulness. My cousin is quite a very good looking man. His wife, not so much. But he loves her and wants to make her happy. He could have done much better if you want to define it that way. What we have here is really alot of peacock posturing and usually 99% of the time, that's built on an individuals personal insecurties.
Author BookerT Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 BookerT, I don't fault you for your laundry list. But anyone with a grocery list, has to realize that their target audience is much smaller, than someone with less expectations. As someone who also had a grocery list, I knew it narrowed the field of interesting men, down to a very small percentage. I happened to have lucked out on finding someone who filled and exceeded my list. I wish you all the best in finding what you're looking for. Just be patient, quit'cher belly aching by generalizations and realize that these are YOUR requirements v. what bar women have to "rise" to. I know this. I started a thread to hear whether others had similar experiences. The grocery list is the no1 reason why there are single, or unhappy, but smart and attractive people. They don't want to settle for less. What is interesting though is that it's innate and in their nature. They couldn't settle for less and be happy even if they wanted to. By this I don't mean settle for someone that was decent looking as opposed to beautiful. Get someone with options and tell them to go for someone ugly, and they can't. 99.9% of the time, they just can't. That's human nature.
Waitress Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I've seen these discussions on here before and they always get heated where people end up bickering over who is the most ignorant, etc. etc. Look, I like guys who are a bit quirky in some way. To me, that's interesting and attractive. I've never fallen for the "pretty boy" type, the classic tall, dark and handsome. Does that mean I'm weird? Materialistic? No, it just means that's been where my attraction has gone. If you like girls that are tall, blonde, stacked, whatever...who cares. But I really don't think they're really perfect 10's. I think attractive women are those with a sparkle in their eyes, a friendly and warm smile on their face. It seems to me that the reason these discussions get so heated is because the OP of them usually states that his preference is a "10" or "attractive" or whatever and those are really just his ideas of what is a "10", etc. I believe it's the perceived arrogance of "I expect the best looks" that gets people riled. Everyone is different. Some media-generated air-brushed image is not for everyone. But anyone is entitled to their preference. Please don't bash me, I'm just giving my perception of why these things get so heated!
Author BookerT Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 To begin with, I think rating other's on a scale is more about the scale raters personal insecurities and an attempt to control the situation around them then anything based on actual fact biology or what is ultimately going to make anyone of us happy. What you consider a *9* or *10* could very well be a *4* in my eyes. (And by the comments you've made here that's probably the case). So by you trying to ply off a situation that people are only hating on you becaue your this wonderful catch with so many options is quite obviously false advertising. No one here is idealizing or idolozing you BookerT for your self proclaimed wonderfulness. My cousin is quite a very good looking man. His wife, not so much. But he loves her and wants to make her happy. He could have done much better if you want to define it that way. What we have here is really alot of peacock posturing and usually 99% of the time, that's built on an individuals personal insecurties. I love how if someone is greedy or shallow, or wants more, or thinks highly of themself, or is attractive and wants the attractive, or is filthy rich and flaunts their wealth, or likes tall me, or likes hot women, or likes rich men, or likes jerks........... it's due to insecurity. It's ALL due to insecurity. That's the root of all problems. Well done.
Waitress Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Get someone with options and tell them to go for someone ugly, and they can't. 99.9% of the time, they just can't. That's human nature. Everyone's opinion of "ugly" is different.
Author BookerT Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 Everyone's opinion of "ugly" is different. It might be different but they can't go for it even if they wanted to......... Yamaha's point was I have no idea what lasting attraction is. I know what's he's getting at. There's more to love or attraction than looks. But who's he to say what I am attracted to? If someone doesn't turn me on, they don't turn me on.
threebyfate Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I know this. I started a thread to hear whether others had similar experiences. The grocery list is the no1 reason why there are single, or unhappy, but smart and attractive people. They don't want to settle for less. What is interesting though is that it's innate and in their nature. They couldn't settle for less and be happy even if they wanted to. By this I don't mean settle for someone that was decent looking as opposed to beautiful. Get someone with options and tell them to go for someone ugly, and they can't. 99.9% of the time, they just can't. That's human nature. While I see and agree with where you're coming from, you're really making my own hackles/insecurities rise, since your focus is on attractiveness level. THAT was my number one anti-criteria, where if a man was focused on looks being number one, then he was out. Your issue is being selected for your earning power. You realize that part of this is steeped in a lack of trust of your own judgement, don't you? Think about this before responding.
Waitress Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 It might be different but they can't go for it even if they wanted to......... Yamaha's point was I have no idea what lasting attraction is. I know what's he's getting at. There's more to love or attraction than looks. But who's he to say what I am attracted to? If someone doesn't turn me on, they don't turn me on. Why do you feel you have to defend yourself to anyone? Don't. BTW, my feeling is (and this is just my feeling) we stop loving someone when we stop respecting them.
Waitress Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 While I see and agree with where you're coming from, you're really making my own hackles/insecurities rise, since your focus is on attractiveness level. THAT was my number one anti-criteria, where if a man was focused on looks being number one, then he was out. Your issue is being selected for your earning power. You realize that part of this is steeped in a lack of trust of your own judgement, don't you? Think about this before responding. Threebyfate, We're going to come up against this type of attitude every day. It's out there. But it's not as pervasive as it seems sometimes. There are a lot of good men out there who see a woman's beauty different than this OP. Let him have his opinion. It's just one opinion. Ya know?
threebyfate Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Threebyfate, We're going to come up against this type of attitude every day. It's out there. But it's not as pervasive as it seems sometimes. There are a lot of good men out there who see a woman's beauty different than this OP. Let him have his opinion. It's just one opinion. Ya know? No doubt Booker is entitled to his opinion. That's not where I'm coming from. If anything, I get where he's coming from completely, since I used to be the same way, but for a different priority.
Waitress Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 No doubt Booker is entitled to his opinion. That's not where I'm coming from. If anything, I get where he's coming from completely, since I used to be the same way, but for a different priority. Got'cha. He is going to learn through his life experience. And he is going to learn that having the opinion he does is going to make him unattractive to some people. And that's their right just as much.
threebyfate Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Got'cha. He is going to learn through his life experience. And he is going to learn that having the opinion he does is going to make him unattractive to some people. And that's their right just as much.That's of less import, than realizing where the issues stem from.
Waitress Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 That's of less import, than realizing where the issues stem from. He doesn't think he has issues and until/unless he does nothing you say is going to make him look deeper. Ya know? By the very nature of this thread's subject line he thinks his line of reasoning is "normal."
Yamaha Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 We all have attraction requirements. All I am suggesting is to stop letting soclety and the media tell you what you should be attracted to and find someone that you love to pieces, regardless of your friends and society's seal of approval. You'll be a much happier person.
Sam Spade Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Wow. <getting out of your way immediately.> You can run, but you can't hide.
mr.dream merchant Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Analysis of girl from last night's date. Age: Prob 28 +/- a year Face = 8 Body = 10 (amazing bod, I didn't have sex with her, I could just tell) Educated in Toronto and Japan. Smart and interesting to talk to. However.......... I can tell she's the materialistic type. I mean she said she thought I was some 40 year old rich dude (when I saw her in the club I had a female friend sitting on either side of me), and that's why I had a hot girl on each side of me in the club. She's been divorced once. Her ex husband said she was never happy with what he was giving her. Now, I read people pretty well for who they are. So basically if I date this girl long term I'll probably get screwed over some time in the future. At least that's my early warning gut feeling. But I'm so drawn to her, I swear this is why women fall for players haha. They can see the signs and go, screw it, and go for it anyway. That's like the last two girls I've been on dates with, I can tell early on they're selfish. Meanwhile the only nice girl I've been on a date with, said she loves me after 3 weeks one night when she was drunk. Are there no normal women out there? Personally I think you should stop looking for worthy dating partners in the club.
shadowplay Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 (edited) While it's true that on average attractive people date more attractive people, in my personal observation how obsessed people are with finding physical perfection in a mate has more to do with personality than anything. I've noticed it's usually the people who are obsessed with status in general. They have internalized the superficials that society deems valuable: job, education, clothes, car, class, you name it. They are the same people who have to be the absolute best at everything and will take it as a blow to their self esteem if they don't get into the very best school, land the very best job, get the best grade in the class, etc. I knew a TON of people like this growing up in a highly competitive upper-middle class suburb. It's this entitlement complex. Usually these people are insecure and hollow at their core, as their self image is drawn from what others consider valuable rather than anything within. Instead of figuring out what they really want, they let others judge for them because they have no confidence in their own judgment. If you scratch beneath the surface you realize that they're often confused, unhappy individuals. Edited December 12, 2009 by shadowplay
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