Are there no normal women out there?

[Butterflying]

1.) Not gonna lie, I'm really good looking. Or at least the fact that I get asked out 4 to 5 times a week tell me I am.

 

2.) I make more than almost any man I've ever dated. Try finding a guy who can deal with that....(with the exception of those guys I dated who have now specialized in their medical fields....but see number three for what their issue was.)

 

3.) I am lots of fun, been all over the world, and I am always doing stuff. I'm smart, and smarter than most guys I've dated too (Again, find a man who can deal with that one.) I'm fairly sure my well rounded nature ensures I am not boring, I can converse on anything from hunting, to monster trucks, to scientific theory and football.

 

 

However, I don't put up with crap. I don't deal with insecure men. I hate needy guys. And I will NOT make myself seem less smart, or downplay the fact that I am financially independent to win a guy over.

 

Technically I'm probably what every man "thinks" he wants. I'm as normal as they come. In reality though, guys want the super hot airheads who don't question anything they do. Or at least, that's my experience.

OMG!!!! I love you!!! (Not really love you because I'm not a lesbian 'not that there's anything wrong with that') But reading this post sounded almost identical to me. I was just about to post a thread asking if it was okay to "dumb down" in order to keep a guy. Recently I ended a new relationship with a guy because he was a know it all. In truth, he didn't know much about anything. He didn't go to college. He doesn't watch news. He doesn't read. Yet he always had an ignorant opinion about everything. The one time I corrected him about a scientific fact, he got upset. We had a huge argument. And I decided it best not to speak to him again.

[BookerT]

I want all you ladies to post up real life pics before I assume you're really good looking.

 

For all I know you might be fat men.

[calizaggy]

1.) Not gonna lie, I'm really good looking. Or at least the fact that I get asked out 4 to 5 times a week tell me I am.

 

2.) I make more than almost any man I've ever dated. Try finding a guy who can deal with that....(with the exception of those guys I dated who have now specialized in their medical fields....but see number three for what their issue was.)

 

3.) I am lots of fun, been all over the world, and I am always doing stuff. I'm smart, and smarter than most guys I've dated too (Again, find a man who can deal with that one.) I'm fairly sure my well rounded nature ensures I am not boring, I can converse on anything from hunting, to monster trucks, to scientific theory and football.

 

 

However, I don't put up with crap. I don't deal with insecure men. I hate needy guys. And I will NOT make myself seem less smart, or downplay the fact that I am financially independent to win a guy over.

 

Technically I'm probably what every man "thinks" he wants. I'm as normal as they come. In reality though, guys want the super hot airheads who don't question anything they do. Or at least, that's my experience.

 

No, it sounds like you are in love with yourself.. Men aren't intimidated, they just are not interested in a narcissistic woman.

[Tayla]

Yes, there are many many fun and normal girls who are absolutely beautiful. They don't want charity, they have goals and ambition. They love to laugh and try new things and they don't cause unnecessary drama. They are still human... get depressed sometimes have irrational fears and past problems like all people do. They usually date high quality, normal, attractive, and healthy men.

 

 

just saying,

good luck

 

So dearly sorry that folks missed your mature and realistic response. Seems male/female bashing is all the rage. If not that then boasting as one of the female genders did, but then again she is no different then the guy who's main gain in life is to find an attractive women (physically). The bottom line is the same, they both think their standards should meet their expectations. Nothing wrong with having standards, its when the expectations are *abnormal* and not realistic-which seems to be this posters dilema

[Butterflying]

I want all you ladies to post up real life pics before I assume you're really good looking.

 

For all I know you might be fat men.

That is a real pic of me from two years ago. It's in my portfolio for modeling jobs. On occasion, I model for small gigs like newspapers, local magazines, and fashion shows. It's not a big deal. Most people don't even know I do it. And it really doesn't pay much. I do it just because I enjoy it. And because I can! But my real job is much more high profile and pays a lot more money. It's what I am known for. But I prefer not to reveal too much of my identity here because it defeats the purpose of LS.

[Butterflying]

No, it sounds like you are in love with yourself.. Men aren't intimidated, they just are not interested in a narcissistic woman.

There is a difference between narcissism and confidence. SECURE men aren't intimidated by a confident woman. SECURE men are only interested in confident women. The problem is that the world is filled with a lot of insecure people who confuse confidence with narcissism.

[Sam Spade]

1.) Not gonna lie, I'm really good looking. Or at least the fact that I get asked out 4 to 5 times a week tell me I am.

 

2.) I make more than almost any man I've ever dated. Try finding a guy who can deal with that....(with the exception of those guys I dated who have now specialized in their medical fields....but see number three for what their issue was.)

 

3.) I am lots of fun, been all over the world, and I am always doing stuff. I'm smart, and smarter than most guys I've dated too (Again, find a man who can deal with that one.) I'm fairly sure my well rounded nature ensures I am not boring, I can converse on anything from hunting, to monster trucks, to scientific theory and football.

 

 

However, I don't put up with crap. I don't deal with insecure men. I hate needy guys. And I will NOT make myself seem less smart, or downplay the fact that I am financially independent to win a guy over.

 

Technically I'm probably what every man "thinks" he wants. I'm as normal as they come. In reality though, guys want the super hot airheads who don't question anything they do. Or at least, that's my experience.

 

Ahhh... where do i Begin:confused:.

Let uncle Sam set you sraight:

 

All your accomplishments don't mean zilch, nada, anything at all against the backdrop of your attitude as exhibited above...

 

I wouldn't care if my woman makes more money than me or is smarter than me (in fact, I'd love both). I just wouldn't stand for the "I'm better than thou" attitude which you blatantly obviously exhibit. So, I hate to break it to you, but unless something changes, your only choice of men are the needy and insecure ones that would put up with that...

[looking4 green grass]

There is a difference between narcissism and confidence. SECURE men aren't intimidated by a confident woman. SECURE men are only interested in confident women. The problem is that the world is filled with a lot of insecure people who confuse confidence with narcissism.

 

There are a lot of insecure men out there!! There are in fact men who are NOT intimidated by me, and they are all very secure with themselves. And they are also very hard to find. Hence I'm still looking.

[looking4 green grass]

Ahhh... where do i Begin:confused:.

Let uncle Sam set you sraight:

 

All your accomplishments don't mean zilch, nada, anything at all against the backdrop of your attitude as exhibited above...

 

I wouldn't care if my woman makes more money than me or is smarter than me (in fact, I'd love both). I just wouldn't stand for the "I'm better than thou" attitude which you blatantly obviously exhibit. So, I hate to break it to you, but unless something changes, your only choice of men are the needy and insecure ones that would put up with that...

 

Ha! You're one of the few then. And I wasn't exhibiting any sort of "attitude" in my post, I was merely responding to the "list" by the OP about what "Normal" was. He asked if we were out there. I was telling him, yes we were.

 

And yeah, I added some frustrations about having all these things that men "want" and when they get them, it becomes an issue. Salary only becomes an issue when the woman needs to move to further her career. We all know if the man needs to move, the women and kids usually follow, but when it's the other way around...holy smokes! You'd think the world was going to end!

[JanetD]

I don't want to cheat...

This is an interesting statement. Does it mean that you do not want to be unfaithful, but you will if your wife forces you?

[threebyfate]

Ok, there are plenty of "normal" women. But call me shallow, there's few really attractive women that have a full package. The OP like most of my posts are just to add a little bit of controversy.

 

1)I won't lie. I want a physically attractive woman. I have pretty high standards on looks.

 

2)I also want a woman that treats me well, and not into me for my money.

 

3)Then I want a woman that's smart, fun and interesting to talk to.

 

I've found many women with two groups of the attributes I am looking for but not all three.

 

Again call me shallow but I am not marrying a woman that doesn't have all three. I don't want to cheat nor be in a divorce later in life, at least in terms of myself losing interest. Yes, I'm also the guy that posted the thread that was pointing out women looking for perfection in men was stupid, but that was mainly a joke post to make fun of our situations in general.

 

I ain't joining the 50% of people getting divorced. I'll rather be shallow.

Okay. What do you bring to the table BookerT, that you feel you deserve this kind of woman? And if this is what you consider a normal woman, why are you having so much difficulty finding one?

[Ms Devil's Advocate]

Smart and interesting to talk to . .. " you said.

Well, sometimes smart and interesting to talk to means that she picked up weird vibes from you, a man, being surrounded by two chics, and was trying to figure out why the situation was the way it was. Sometimes people mention their assumptions so that they may either be proved or disproved. It doesn't necessarily mean she was hoping you were filthy rich and a player. It could be something she was worried about.

 

But I agree with those comments like: no one is normal. Everyone is normal.

 

And there is a good chance that women are never going to seem NORMAL to you- you are a man, and obviously a man who has some more traditional ideals about how women are supposed to behave in order for them to be worthy of further dating.

 

It is not weird that women pursue a man with material achievements, or that your material achievements are going to be a point of interest for women in the dating field. Women are taught by society that this important and for women who are attractive, well-educated, and have achieved material rewards on their own behalf and through their own efforts want to find someone who is along the same lines.

 

For a woman who has been married and divorced to tell you so quickly why she was divorced can be an uncomfortable situation. It does not bode well for future relationships if she is so quick to reveal the flaws of her past relationships. However, just because her last husband did not fulfill her needs with what he had to offer does not mean that she is materialistic. It could simply mean that what mattered to her and what mattered to her ex were two very different things.

 

You need to be more grounded in what is important to you before that which is important to others becomes an issue of normality or abnormality. Neither the chic from the date or the girl who told you she loved you after only three weeks were really all that weird. People experience life and express themselves in different ways. Do not be so quick to judge another or to find fault with another. Keep a clear mind in the dating field. You could be pushing away people that, with time, you might have found to be quite interesting, selfless, not too clingy, not too materialistic, etc, etc. Be more patient. And maybe try meeting people in less gaudy situations . . .outside of bars, when you are not surrounded by other females, etc, etc. Typically you are going to meet those who relate to you and your ideas and your lifestyle when you meet them within more central arenas of your own life, work, Church, family friends, etc, etc.

[Ms Devil's Advocate]

1.) Not gonna lie, I'm really good looking. Or at least the fact that I get asked out 4 to 5 times a week tell me I am.

 

2.) I make more than almost any man I've ever dated. Try finding a guy who can deal with that....(with the exception of those guys I dated who have now specialized in their medical fields....but see number three for what their issue was.)

 

3.) I am lots of fun, been all over the world, and I am always doing stuff. I'm smart, and smarter than most guys I've dated too (Again, find a man who can deal with that one.) I'm fairly sure my well rounded nature ensures I am not boring, I can converse on anything from hunting, to monster trucks, to scientific theory and football.

 

 

However, I don't put up with crap. I don't deal with insecure men. I hate needy guys. And I will NOT make myself seem less smart, or downplay the fact that I am financially independent to win a guy over.

 

Technically I'm probably what every man "thinks" he wants. I'm as normal as they come. In reality though, guys want the super hot airheads who don't question anything they do. Or at least, that's my experience.

Lady, man oh man, do I feel you on this one. It seems that men hate a woman who knows what she is talking about, especially if she doesn't change her mind or shut up simply because the man she is interested in disagrees with her. In fact, men seem to tune women out if they do not know as much about a topic as the woman they are interested in does.

 

 

The other thing that happens oh so often is that men fail to fulfill my desires because they do not know how to actively discuss my interests . . .I am not sure if this is because they do not care about my interests, know nothing about my interests, or just don't know how to stop thinking about themselves long enough to learn about someone else or something else. Perhaps all of the above.

 

The other issue I have found to be soooo difficult is that men assume that with a more committed relationship, my interests will drop in importance to me and I will simply become more of a domesticated woman. I.E. that I will set aside time to learn to cook rather than take an opportunity to boost my career. I.E. that my career will be put on the back burner for my significant other's career . . I will move where his job takes him but he cannot move for my job opportunities, etc, etc, etc.

 

Old-fashioned mentalities still dominate male-female relationships and it is difficult to deal with.

[BookerT]

This is an interesting statement. Does it mean that you do not want to be unfaithful, but you will if your wife forces you?

 

No, not force.

 

Let's be honest here, despite people saying cheating is wrong around 50% or more people cheat. That's a huge number for people who say something is wrong yet go do it.

 

Whether people like to admit it or not, cheating is like smoking or doing drugs. Consciously everyone says it's wrong. Yet many people are too weak minded to control themselves.

 

If I really loved a woman I won't cheat on her. But if I don't then the reality is I probably will.

 

It's not that I'm shallow. Rather, instead of saying I'm a good person and going with the hypocrisy that most people hide behind, I'm honest with who I am. Which is naturally flawed, and like 50% of the people out there.

 

Hence I'll find someone I really love or stay single. That's fair.

[BookerT]

Okay. What do you bring to the table BookerT, that you feel you deserve this kind of woman? And if this is what you consider a normal woman, why are you having so much difficulty finding one?

 

The longest relationship I've had was 6 years. My ex was a very beautiful girl, and treated me really well. To be honest I'm a scumbag for dating her that long and not settling down with her.

 

But the truth is I started losing feelings for her in the last 2 years of our relationship, and tried my best to make things work, get my feelings back, but it's not something I can consciously create. Once you no longer love someone it's not like you can will yourself into attraction.

 

The bit that was lacking was the intellectual stimulation. We always had mundane conversations. She wasn't smart compared to some of the other girls I dated since.

 

It's just hard to find a well rounded individual. Ok, so the use of the word "normal" in the OP was wrong. I was just bitching about a good looking interesting girl being materialistic.

 

What do I bring to the table? I go out a lot and date a lot of girls. I don't know what they see in me other than I'm pretty attractive physically, interesting to talk to, funny and make a decent living.

 

But with these girls very few have the right package. I guess my main problem is in terms of looks I need a very attractive girl with a good body to feel attracted physically. I mean like a 9-10. So I go for these girls, and it's hard to get the other areas with these girls.

Edited December 12, 2009 by BookerT

[lab_brat]

No, not force.

 

Let's be honest here, despite people saying cheating is wrong around 50% or more people cheat. That's a huge number for people who say something is wrong yet go do it.

 

Whether people like to admit it or not, cheating is like smoking or doing drugs. Consciously everyone says it's wrong. Yet many people are too weak minded to control themselves.

 

If I really loved a woman I won't cheat on her. But if I don't then the reality is I probably will.

 

It's not that I'm shallow. Rather, instead of saying I'm a good person and going with the hypocrisy that most people hide behind, I'm honest with who I am. Which is naturally flawed, and like 50% of the people out there.

 

Hence I'll find someone I really love or stay single. That's fair.

 

LOL, you admit that you're flawed, yet you expect perfection? You had a beautiful girlfriend who treated you great for 6 years, but she wasn't good enough for you because her conversation wasn't interesting enough for you? You aren't looking for normal. You're looking for perfect whilst being flawed yourself. It doesnt work like that.

 

PS - is the BookerT reference the wrestler in the gold shorts or the R&B muso, coz either way its a rather pedestrian choice. Intelligence is contextual.

[calizaggy]

Ha! You're one of the few then. And I wasn't exhibiting any sort of "attitude" in my post, I was merely responding to the "list" by the OP about what "Normal" was. He asked if we were out there. I was telling him, yes we were.

 

And yeah, I added some frustrations about having all these things that men "want" and when they get them, it becomes an issue. Salary only becomes an issue when the woman needs to move to further her career. We all know if the man needs to move, the women and kids usually follow, but when it's the other way around...holy smokes! You'd think the world was going to end!

 

 

HAHA

 

You obviously have no clue of what men want.. I notice you left off kind, caring, sweet, young, sexy, attentive,not materialistic, loyal, loving, nurturing, can cook well, and would be a good mother.

 

I don't know of any men who state they want a woman who claims to be smarter than them , calls themself beautiful, and is a careerist.

 

It sounds like you need a submissive stay at home man, so you can work, relocate him when your job calls for it, etc. Many women that find themselves single because they have qualities men do not care for, then blame it on "insecure" men.

 

i suggest you read this..

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html

[Sam Spade]

Ha! You're one of the few then. And I wasn't exhibiting any sort of "attitude" in my post, I was merely responding to the "list" by the OP about what "Normal" was. He asked if we were out there. I was telling him, yes we were.

 

And yeah, I added some frustrations about having all these things that men "want" and when they get them, it becomes an issue. Salary only becomes an issue when the woman needs to move to further her career. We all know if the man needs to move, the women and kids usually follow, but when it's the other way around...holy smokes! You'd think the world was going to end!

 

Well, you are right... And the problem is precisely that most men don't care that much about those qualities in a life partner... It's great if they are present, but probably not so great if that is at the expense of more stereotypical feminine qualities (and the oguys who do prioritize intelligence and accomplishment, risk ending up either alone or frustrated; source: BookerT in the other tread, hehe; also, my best friend who switched from cute submissive girl that worshiped him to a an accomplished professional woman who now puts him as a last priority; now he regrets not having married the other girl).

 

That said, I've seen plenty of relocations due to woman's career. Some happy, some not. The question is is the relocation really worth it? Some of the marriages were troubled to begin with.

 

I think more men would be open to this if women were indeed reliably committed both to their careers and their families. Most men are faced with the reality that although women are (finally!) working and making money these days, men are still expected to be the primary rock solid breadwinners, and women always like to have *the option* of saying at home w kids for a while. Given that it is still the case, it is not surprising that some men will diminish the importance of the woman's career considering that in the back of their head they're thinking: "yeah, you're working now, but as soon as we have kids, you'll drop out and I'll be left holding the (empty) money bag..."

[calizaggy]

Most men are faced with the reality that although women are (finally!) working and making money these days, men are still expected to be the primary rock solid breadwinners, and women always like to have *the option* of saying at home w kids for a while. Given that it is still the case, it is not surprising that some men will diminish the importance of the woman's career considering that in the back of their head they're thinking: "yeah, you're working now, but as soon as we have kids, you'll drop out and I'll be left holding the (empty) money bag..."

 

 

Good point..

 

Men could care less about your career. We all know women typically view the money they earn as "their" money. What advanatge is it to me if you spend it on expensive work clothes, eating out, your student loans, day care, and credit card bills while I am still expected to pay for everything related to the household in most cases ? When you take away what they spend to go to work, they earn very little.

 

Since I have to work and pay the bills anyway, I would rather have a wife that adds to my life around the home, and is not always whining and complaining about her "career".

[carhill]

There are no normal women out there. With that and a bowl of Wheaties, I'm ready to face another day

[JanetD]

No, not force.

 

Let's be honest here, despite people saying cheating is wrong around 50% or more people cheat. That's a huge number for people who say something is wrong yet go do it.

 

Whether people like to admit it or not, cheating is like smoking or doing drugs. Consciously everyone says it's wrong. Yet many people are too weak minded to control themselves.

 

If I really loved a woman I won't cheat on her. But if I don't then the reality is I probably will.

 

It's not that I'm shallow. Rather, instead of saying I'm a good person and going with the hypocrisy that most people hide behind, I'm honest with who I am. Which is naturally flawed, and like 50% of the people out there.

 

Hence I'll find someone I really love or stay single. That's fair.

I agree, those who are "too weak minded to control themselves" should stay single.

[Woggle]

HAHA

 

You obviously have no clue of what men want.. I notice you left off kind, caring, sweet, young, sexy, attentive,not materialistic, loyal, loving, nurturing, can cook well, and would be a good mother.

 

I don't know of any men who state they want a woman who claims to be smarter than them , calls themself beautiful, and is a careerist.

 

It sounds like you need a submissive stay at home man, so you can work, relocate him when your job calls for it, etc. Many women that find themselves single because they have qualities men do not care for, then blame it on "insecure" men.

 

i suggest you read this..

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html

 

Yup. These qualities she said are not bad but if she also doesn't have those qualities you named then it means nothing at all.

 

Also if she has a submissive man she would have contempt and zero attraction for him. They claim that men are insecure but they have no respect for a man that won;t put them in their place.

[Woggle]

I orefer a woman that works and I have that but the unique thing about my wife is that we truly have an agreement that it is my money and her money. We have seperate accounts so there is none of that what's mine is mine and what's his mine mentality that most women have. We both contribute our hlaf to the household expenses and don't bug each other about the rest.

[threebyfate]

The longest relationship I've had was 6 years. My ex was a very beautiful girl, and treated me really well. To be honest I'm a scumbag for dating her that long and not settling down with her.

 

But the truth is I started losing feelings for her in the last 2 years of our relationship, and tried my best to make things work, get my feelings back, but it's not something I can consciously create. Once you no longer love someone it's not like you can will yourself into attraction.

I agree that you should have left sooner, since feelings of love can't be recreated. Are you certain you ever loved her? From the sounds of it, I would say not, at least not real love.

 

The bit that was lacking was the intellectual stimulation. We always had mundane conversations. She wasn't smart compared to some of the other girls I dated since.

What kinds of conversations do you consider non-mundane and intellectually stimulating?

It's just hard to find a well rounded individual. Ok, so the use of the word "normal" in the OP was wrong. I was just bitching about a good looking interesting girl being materialistic.

What do you consider to be materialistic?

 

What do I bring to the table? I go out a lot and date a lot of girls. I don't know what they see in me other than I'm pretty attractive physically, interesting to talk to, funny and make a decent living.

Notice how you consider "make a decent living" as being a positive trait to bring to the table? If materialism bothers you, why would you consider "make a decent living" to be positive? Do you understand where I'm coming from about this?

 

But with these girls very few have the right package. I guess my main problem is in terms of looks I need a very attractive girl with a good body to feel attracted physically. I mean like a 9-10. So I go for these girls, and it's hard to get the other areas with these girls.

If your selection criteria prioritizes the physical, head and shoulders above the rest, why would a well-rounded woman be attracted?

[Jersey Shortie]

It's when a woman's attraction to a man is based on how much he can spend on her that I consider them materialistic.

 

A man's attraction is based on what a woman looks like. Men are not ashamed of this "shallowness". And I am not ashamed about my attraction to men that have nice jobs and want to spend his money on me. Infact, if a man doesn't want to spend money on you and share his resources, it's a biologically programmed reaction built into women to look out for it and avoid these type of men. We are to pick a mate that will protect and provide for us. No woman wants to be with a Scrooge.

 

About face means she literally turned around & walked away from me after I verified I'm a maintenance guy that just got back from an interview.

 

I thought it was pretty funny & so did my friends. we joked about it for weeks. - phineas

 

How many girls have you walked away from Phineas for equally shallow reasons? I bet more then you'd care to admit to the board.

 

No3: Feminism killed marriage in the US. Marriage works better when men and women have a division of labor and except they are different naturally (not saying men are better, just different). When they start competing at exactly the same level in everything, it

 

Feminism didn't kill marriage. Expansion, technology and industry did. If men had intially given women equality, there would have been no need for a power struggle to begin with. There would have been no reason for women to learn to *fight* for their own freedom. Women today are a product of the environment that was intially created for them by centuries of male rule. Centuries of female opression lead to feminism and it was a necessity for us all. In a perfect world, division of labor is great. However, I don't think that even today, we are at a point in history where most men want to be equal to women. Read the post on "Why men go for airheads". I think what men want is to women to fit into a very small role that best pleases him but offers no real challenge to what he thinks his dominate station in life should be over women. Now that's not true for all men. But it's true for enough for there to still be gender *wars*.