LikeABirdWhoFlew Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I work with that slime ball EX of mine. I see her almost everyday, throughout the day. Thank god she is transferring to a morning shift so I will only have to see her as she is leaving the building. But for the next week I have to work with her. Any advice on how to keep my cool and ignore here? What should I do if she tries to talk or make eye contact with me? I just know she is going to be loud and flirtatious with others in front of me. What can I do to look like the bigger and better person? I despise her right now for giving up on us so easily and moving in with a new dude 2 weeks after we ended our engagement. I have to tell you, hating her is sooooooooo much better than missing her. (although part of me still does)
twinklecat Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Hey Sorry to hear of your situation, I work with my ex also and it aint fun! Only advice I can offer is to pretty much ignore them. If they say hello, say hello back, but you don't have to go out of your way to have a chat or anything. That's all I have been doing. I'm lucky in the respect that my ex works in a different part of the building, so don't see him much.
jv032889 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I work with my ex. Its difficult, but as time passes it becomes easier. Ignore all her attemps of contact and smile, smile, smile.
Author LikeABirdWhoFlew Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 Thanks.... any one else have anymore advice?
tVII Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 center yourself, don't do anything emotional. don't gravitate towards your problem (its human nature to-fight it). and above all avoid and keep busy to ignore. keep ur head up man. ur already fighting the good fight by asking for advice here. source: i work with my ex. been 9 months now. keep your head up. think positive always. postive thoughts equal more positive thoughts, negative is the same. negative hurts, positive doesn't. when you're being positive, ur never lying to urself, ur just being positive and truthful.
torranceshipman Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Fake it til you make it Act indifferent - that's always the best thing to do (clearly there is something weird going on with her - either she is really on the rebound, trying to prove something to you, or was cheating when you guys were still together - all toxic and nasty: acting indifferent proves to her that you could care less). Maybe subtly mention the name of a girl a few times, or look pleased with yourself - give her little attention but be generally friendly in your exchanges, regardless of what you are discussing (like you would any casual acquaintance).
trueblue72ny Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 i think you have already answered your own question. just keep your cool and ignore her. dont make eye contact, avoid the areas when you know you are going to see her around. park on the other side of the parking lot. dont assciate with the people she does at work. dont talk about her to anyone at your work. i know this. i work with my ex gf too. and she is the same EXACT way. she will snap her fingers and make noise to try and get my attention. she will even all the sudden become "friends" with the people in the cubicles right next to me. when she used to tell me in the past she didnt like these people. its all a big show. she is trying to satisfy her own ego at your expense. what i have done that has helped me is what i said above, that and i do not initiate communication with her anymore. i only respond if she works up enough courage to email me. and even then my responses are friendly, but very brief. like i am doing good. and thanks but no thanks. then that way i dont look like a sore looser. and i look like the better person because i retain my self respect and dignity. in fact you are well without your rights to not even respond to her since she moved in? with some guy 2 weeks lateR? wtf? i doubt she is someone you really want to associate yourself with anyway at this point. not even as "friends" down the road. you just have to be strong when the day comes and she contacts you because her world is falling apart. do not give in. just remember when your world was falling apart where is she? that is how you come out of this smelling like roses. i am convinced. that and getting on with your own life and meeting new people. smile, smile, smile when you are stuck having to bump into her. even if you arent happy inside, fake it till you make it. and you will get there eventually. you will thank yourself down the road when you look back at this.
LovelyDaze Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 i think you have already answered your own question. just keep your cool and ignore her. dont make eye contact, avoid the areas when you know you are going to see her around. park on the other side of the parking lot. dont assciate with the people she does at work. dont talk about her to anyone at your work. i know this. i work with my ex gf too. and she is the same EXACT way. she will snap her fingers and make noise to try and get my attention. she will even all the sudden become "friends" with the people in the cubicles right next to me. when she used to tell me in the past she didnt like these people. its all a big show. she is trying to satisfy her own ego at your expense. what i have done that has helped me is what i said above, that and i do not initiate communication with her anymore. i only respond if she works up enough courage to email me. and even then my responses are friendly, but very brief. like i am doing good. and thanks but no thanks. then that way i dont look like a sore looser. and i look like the better person because i retain my self respect and dignity. in fact you are well without your rights to not even respond to her since she moved in? with some guy 2 weeks lateR? wtf? i doubt she is someone you really want to associate yourself with anyway at this point. not even as "friends" down the road. you just have to be strong when the day comes and she contacts you because her world is falling apart. do not give in. just remember when your world was falling apart where is she? that is how you come out of this smelling like roses. i am convinced. that and getting on with your own life and meeting new people. smile, smile, smile when you are stuck having to bump into her. even if you arent happy inside, fake it till you make it. and you will get there eventually. you will thank yourself down the road when you look back at this. This is very true. I still work with my ex and he has sloppily got into an engagement with someone he only knew for 2 months PLUS she lives 1000 miles away. It's a mess. but what I do is keep it cordial and I implement NC to the extent of not texting, calling or e-mailing him. We just go to work, make dumb idle chit-chat & split. Yes, it gives me an ache in my heart when he arrives at work but everyday it gets a little easier and I realize this guy is messed up. Not only is he freshly engaged after leaving me just this past October, but he is happy to be deployed to Afghanistan so he can avoid "thinking about his new fiancee' possibly cheating." Ridiculous.
Odyssey Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Keep contact to a minimum. Be polite and professional. Most of all keep your cool 'cause she will most likely try to gauge an reaction from you. I did work with my ex also, and she would play plenty of mind games to (a) make me jealous; (b) for attention and © fish for info. about me to see how i was coping. Sometimes they appear sweet, but don't fall for any of it! Keep the moral high ground and you'll do fine. I got through it, so... i know you will too.
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