Babygirl8385 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I have been with my husband for over a year now, we have been married almost a year of that, (Jan22) Now I am big on anniversaries .. i dont expect diamonds or anything too flashy/fancy, but simple. I love simple things, date night etc. Flowers or chocolate even! ... but the thing is, he seems to think i put too much emphasis on the dates, each guy is different, and ive dated before and celebrated 6mnth and 1 yr dating. this time we didnt do either .. and now we are coming up on 1 yr married .. im trying not to get my hopes up .. cuz i have a feeling it wont go as id like it to go ... does anyone else have this problem? and how do you take it/react to it?
armywife915 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Tell him what you want to happen. If it's something simple like you say then tell him that. Just let him know you don't want to always have to tell him what to do but these are ideas. Guys usually don't have that frame of mind where they can be creative with anniversaries. You have to let them know. Good luck
bean1 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Were you guys even together for 6 months before marriage? I suppose if the 6 months or 1 year never came up before the wedding, you wouldn't know if he was that kind of guy. I would expect a nice dinner on a one year anniversary No gifts, I don't care for that, but at least a dinner? What did he say when you told him you wanted to at least go for a nice dinner?
Author Babygirl8385 Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 well i havent really talked to him about it at all since the last time we discussed it, its one of those things i just give up on, like so many other things, theres already do much stress due to where we are living, and other factors. I find him to be very unapproachable ... with simple things even this morning i brought something up .. and he got all hot headed and started raising his voice ... then he said whatever and walked out ... i dont know what to do really.
JamesM Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Why wait in silence? Why not discuss with him what the two of you can do for your anniversary? It is not a birthday where you wait for him to give you a gift. Technically, it is as much your responsibility to initiate a celebration as it is his. Remember, all men ARE different. And the things that you like about him may be why he doesn't think dates are important. Communication and openness is the key to avoiding disappointment and hurt in this case. You are putting him to a test by seeing if he remembers the date. Implication is that if he doesn't, then he doesn't love you. And that is not true. Talk to him and set up a dinner date. THEN the ball is in his court to do something, too.
woodsfield Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 unapproachable? yells at little things? yikes! OK, i can remember an a-hole that used to do that...me. on how things have changed! Communication and openness is the key to avoiding disappointment and hurt in this case. good advice... i'd add that i don't like little subtle hints. out with it! my W is like many women in that i need to know what she is wanting/thinking. when i don't deliver, she gets upset. when i ask, she gets upset. over 5 years of M, we have learned to communicate better and become more understanding and alert to each other's needs. 1st Anni is big, then 5, 10 etc., IMO. good luck with it.
hopeful1980 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I think you should definitely tell him what you'd like in a direct, but sweet way. However, it's very imperative that you be nice and show respect to him even if he doesn't get the details right. The main thing is that he is trying to give you what you want even if it's not perfect.
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