b52s Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 When I say SINGLe I mean, WITHOUT a boyfriend, without a man.....not talking about marraige here...but completely without a man in her / his life. I have this female friend (don't worry, I have no interest in her personally, lol) So the opinions I hear from here are pretty much unbiased....meaning, my lack of interest in her will give a more honest answer. That being said, she just moved to the area, a more remote area. She said she's happy being single, because she's busy with work, she got 2 NEW dogs so they're kind of a substitute for a boyfriend because she adores them. (That's another thread altogether, dog lovers, is it too much?...had a male firend who isn't a pet owner that prefers not to date women with such pets because she has to go home early to tend to them or something, lol...so he's got a girlfriend that's pet free....she owns lizards though in a tank....but like I said, another thread, but THIS thread could "Tie-In") She said she'll be participating in the local animal shelter and local theater troupe to occupy her time. I think that's great....she said she has no interest in dating....RIGHT NOW as she puts it, but she is actually content in being single. Not even a MOMENT of "loneliness" And I asked, "Come ooooon, you have to have your moments of loneliness sometimes, right?" Her...nope. That being said, think she's fibbing a bit? I don't think I EVER met someone who had no desire to date or meet a mate. She said: Hard to feel lonely when when I have two dogs who snuggle up to me all the time and keep me very busy. :-)
Pyro Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Damn straight. Meeting the right person though is just as good of feeling if not better.
JohnP82 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I can honestly say I'm perfectly happy being single now. A relationship would only complicate my life now.
Lizzie60 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Not sure if I understand your question.. I am single.. meaning I have no 'man' in my life.. but I have many lovers.. does that count? I want to remain 'single'.. I like my freedom and my space too much to share it with someone on a daily basis. As far as your friend. .I do believe that there are some men/women out there who are content with their animals.. they do not have the desire to share their daily life with anyone.. most have friends and family and pets.. and toys.. LOL
C-i-C-u Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 She said: Hard to feel lonely when when I have two dogs who snuggle up to me all the time and keep me very busy. :-) There you go she is having sex with the dogs. A threesome every night that's hard for a man to compete with unless there is two of them present.
C-i-C-u Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Not sure if I understand your question.. I am single.. meaning I have no 'man' in my life.. but I have many lovers.. does that count? I want to remain 'single'.. I like my freedom and my space too much to share it with someone on a daily basis. As far as your friend. .I do believe that there are some men/women out there who are content with their animals.. they do not have the desire to share their daily life with anyone.. most have friends and family and pets.. and toys.. LOL So you are fairly promiscuous?
Lizzie60 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 So you are fairly promiscuous? fairly... is a weak word..
CaliGuy Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I'm pretty happy with the way my life is right now so I'm not worried about meeting someone or not. If it happens, it happens. As my friend likes to say "It is what it is..." I think the more people focus on finding a S/O the less successful they'll be because they're projecting desperation to some degree and that's really a turn off IMHO.
Author b52s Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 Not sure if I understand your question.. I am single.. meaning I have no 'man' in my life.. but I have many lovers.. does that count? I want to remain 'single'.. I like my freedom and my space too much to share it with someone on a daily basis. As far as your friend. .I do believe that there are some men/women out there who are content with their animals.. they do not have the desire to share their daily life with anyone.. most have friends and family and pets.. and toys.. LOL This means, no lovers, not ANY kind of man in your life, except maybe brothers, fathers and probably co-workers. lol Of which seems to be enough. So this even means no sex in your life either.
Waitress Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 For me, I'm happy being alone right now. It's not that I would say "I want to be alone" although to some degree I do. It's just that being "alone" (and I do have people to love) is not a terrible thing, it's just what it is. And I do have moments of loneliness but I'm also content more/most of the time. What makes being alone particularly difficult is that people seem to think less of you for being alone. Weird. It seems that once I meet someone I really, really like then I'm less content being alone!
C-i-C-u Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 (edited) fairly... is a weak word.. so very? Can I ask how many? MODERATOR'S NOTE: Let's keep this kind of one-to-one communication to Private Messages! Thanks! Edited December 10, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Sam Spade Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 There's no shame in being perfectly content alone. The problem is that some people do that for way too long and by the time they hit their mid-thirties they become so set in their ways, that they're pretty much unwilling, incapable (or both), to accomodate a person in their lives (even a decent one). In fact, IMO this is the #1 reason why people dating in their 30s are soooo effin jaded: it's not that there are no decent people to date, it's that they have a problem finding someone that's "just so" and will not have any impact at all on their lifestyle. Good luck with that . There is no shame in prioritising comfort over relationships, but the bottom line is, happy relationship or not, living with other people is hard(er), and anybody expecting continuation of endless comfort is probably setting themselves up for frustration.
Leonard Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 You're looking ad a GUY who is quite happy at being single. I have lots of friends though, most of them I can't even remember their names, but they remember mine. Sometimes I feel quite down that I don't put enough effort into remembering their names than they do remembering mine. There are some girls who have tried dating me, and there was an incident with my best friend where we almost got in too deep with each other, but I managed to avoid it and set her up with someone else, we're still best friends though
kizik Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 No, but pretty happy. A lot of people end up not liking their SO's and picking on them. What kind of life is that? I'd rather work on myself than get mad at somebody else all the time.
paddington bear Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 nope was never happy being single. Not suicidally unhappy, but when you lack any kind of intimacy for a long period of time it has a bad effect and changes how you view yourself in relation to the opposite sex. For me, I sent out either desperate vibes, or simply shut off from flirting etc, because you just get into a little weird place where you no longer expect to meet someone who would be interested in you, and thus a horrible vicious circle is created.
kizik Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 when you lack any kind of intimacy for a long period of time it has a bad effect and changes how you view yourself in relation to the opposite sex. For me, I sent out either desperate vibes, or simply shut off from flirting etc, because you just get into a little weird place where you no longer expect to meet someone who would be interested in you, and thus a horrible vicious circle is created. Wow!!!!!! This is such an excellent description of how I usually feel. Thank you for this, pb.
PJKino Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I think everyone yearns for that intimacy and effection from another human being but as i said in my post until find a women whos into me that im somewhat physically attracted to id rather be alone until then or if it never happesn then ill deal with being alone forever somehow i guess no matter how much i want that human effection
knaveman Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 nope was never happy being single. Not suicidally unhappy, but when you lack any kind of intimacy for a long period of time it has a bad effect and changes how you view yourself in relation to the opposite sex. For me, I sent out either desperate vibes, or simply shut off from flirting etc, because you just get into a little weird place where you no longer expect to meet someone who would be interested in you, and thus a horrible vicious circle is created. This is exactly what has happened to me. Mix in a debilitating fear of rejection and that's me in a nutshell. I'm not happy about it, but I am happy with my life. I will always be happy with my life whether I am single or with someone. No, I guess I'm not happy being single but I am content and when the unhappiness gets to be too much I will change my situation. I imagine the OP's friend is kind of the same way. You take life as it comes and when you need, you change what you can to suite you.
D-Lish Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I'm perfectly happy being single at the moment. I'm happy with where I am at professionally and personally ~ I'm enjoying my life. I'd accept a relationship if the right person tapped me on the shoulder, but I am confident I'll be content regardless. I've been in a relationship but still felt lonley, that has to be the worst compromise a person can make.
harmfulsweetz Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I'm single (ok only for a few days) but I'm happy about it. I think it works both ways, there are some people who hop from relationship to relationship, mainly out of fear of being single. I think that's far more unhealthy and more likely to be a breeding ground for unhappiness, than being alone is. I think the term is co-dependency. I would rather be alone and happy in myself, allbeit maybe a tad lonely, than jumping from unhappy relationship to unhappy relationship because I can't face being alone. I can face being alone, and I can do it with a smile on my face. Or you could face the reality of the situation and look for the doom and gloom-but I prefer the positives. No bed sharing, no t.v sharing, it's all about me. That thought makes my day...
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