pandagirl Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Well, my multi-dating experiment started off yesterday with two dates: lunch and dinner. Both were pleasant enough, but I will pursue neither, unfortunately. #1. Met this guy for lunch. He was perfectly fine: very smart, just not my type personality or physically. He called me out on it already saying he thought I was very attractive, but he didn't sense a mutual attraction from me. So, I guess he did the dirty work for me. N hard feelings from either side, and in fact, we just chatted today. #2. Unfortunately, I think I friend-zoned this guy already. He is really great, smart and interesting. He made some really thoughtful insights about me and my personality that were really sweet and un-generic. Like, he said how I was probably one of the most sincere people he's met, and he doubts I could ever be any other way. Cute! We talked about music, bands and art for a long time, which was really intellectually awesome. He said that I seemed like a brainiac. haha. He wants to see me again, and I think I will go on another date with him. MAYBE attraction will grow? I need to at least give it a chance. It's good that I went outside my comfort zone, but it's made me appreciate my connections with people from my past even more. When you got it, you know it. And it just wasn't there yesterday for either one. ONWARD TOWARDS #3 and #4! haha.
temple Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I'm glad your feeling so positive, I really like how healthy your thinking is! Go get 'em
TheLoneSock Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Well, my multi-dating experiment started off yesterday with two dates: lunch and dinner. Both were pleasant enough, but I will pursue neither, unfortunately. #1. Met this guy for lunch. He was perfectly fine: very smart, just not my type personality or physically. He called me out on it already saying he thought I was very attractive, but he didn't sense a mutual attraction from me. So, I guess he did the dirty work for me. N hard feelings from either side, and in fact, we just chatted today. #2. Unfortunately, I think I friend-zoned this guy already. He is really great, smart and interesting. He made some really thoughtful insights about me and my personality that were really sweet and un-generic. Like, he said how I was probably one of the most sincere people he's met, and he doubts I could ever be any other way. Cute! We talked about music, bands and art for a long time, which was really intellectually awesome. He said that I seemed like a brainiac. haha. He wants to see me again, and I think I will go on another date with him. MAYBE attraction will grow? I need to at least give it a chance. It's good that I went outside my comfort zone, but it's made me appreciate my connections with people from my past even more. When you got it, you know it. And it just wasn't there yesterday for either one. ONWARD TOWARDS #3 and #4! haha. I'm guessing in both cases there was a lack of raw physical attraction? Because you said #1 wasn't attractive, and #2 you almost friend zoned lol So.. confirm or deny? Do you just need to date hotter guys?
jerbear Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I'll sign up to be #5, because beyond that, I can't count over 5 on my left hand. :lmao: Honestly PG, I think you're doing fine and enjoy it.
Author pandagirl Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 I'm guessing in both cases there was a lack of raw physical attraction? Because you said #1 wasn't attractive, and #2 you almost friend zoned lol So.. confirm or deny? Do you just need to date hotter guys? Yes, no physical attraction. I'm trying to be more open to an attraction growing, but I just don't see it happening with either of these guys. But maybe I am over-estimating my OWN hotness. haha. I'll sign up to be #5, because beyond that, I can't count over 5 on my left hand. :lmao: Honestly PG, I think you're doing fine and enjoy it. Sure, #5 -- c'mon down!
woopster638 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 if you want to spice up the attraction.........try getting yourself drunk or at least tipsy, and i promise you the opposite sex looks hotter than usual : )
Pizzaman81 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Well, my multi-dating experiment started off yesterday with two dates: lunch and dinner. Both were pleasant enough, but I will pursue neither, unfortunately. #1. Met this guy for lunch. He was perfectly fine: very smart, just not my type personality or physically. He called me out on it already saying he thought I was very attractive, but he didn't sense a mutual attraction from me. So, I guess he did the dirty work for me. N hard feelings from either side, and in fact, we just chatted today. #2. Unfortunately, I think I friend-zoned this guy already. He is really great, smart and interesting. He made some really thoughtful insights about me and my personality that were really sweet and un-generic. Like, he said how I was probably one of the most sincere people he's met, and he doubts I could ever be any other way. Cute! We talked about music, bands and art for a long time, which was really intellectually awesome. He said that I seemed like a brainiac. haha. He wants to see me again, and I think I will go on another date with him. MAYBE attraction will grow? I need to at least give it a chance. It's good that I went outside my comfort zone, but it's made me appreciate my connections with people from my past even more. When you got it, you know it. And it just wasn't there yesterday for either one. ONWARD TOWARDS #3 and #4! haha. Ya, how are you able to keep up? I find multi-dating really tiring. Currently dating 5 women, but i can't pay attention to any of them. Girl #1: All over me, not interested, keeps on calling Girl #2: She's alright, but something's off, went on 2 dates Girl #3: "Accidentally" made out with her but don't know anymore about her Girl #4: Too much of a culture difference, but super HOT, so I am confused Girl #5: Doesn't get along with her parents and thinks she lives in the United States of WhatEVA. BUt she's really hot too, so I'm confused. It's like interviewing people for a job!!!!!
Sam Spade Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Unless guy #2 smacks your azz on the second date I'm afraid he'll be out of the running.
Author pandagirl Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 This is the first time I've ever done anything like this and I'm 31. By nature, I am NOT a multi-tasker in anything I do, especially dating! That being said, it isn't difficult, because I've only first dates. The problem will arise IF I find more than one guy worthy of actually DATING. Also wanted to add, Guy #2 DID NOT pay for my drinks AND when we split the tab, I actually ended up paying more than my share. Guys, I have to say, on a FIRST date, you should really offer to pay. : /
Yukikazi Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 This is the first time I've ever done anything like this and I'm 31. By nature, I am NOT a multi-tasker in anything I do, especially dating! That being said, it isn't difficult, because I've only first dates. The problem will arise IF I find more than one guy worthy of actually DATING. Yea you better be careful there.. unless you are open and honest with each guy and let them all know you are dating around.. then by this forums definition you will be a "player". Also wanted to add, Guy #2 DID NOT pay for my drinks AND when we split the tab, I actually ended up paying more than my share. Guys, I have to say, on a FIRST date, you should really offer to pay. : / Who asked whom out first?
Author pandagirl Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 Yea you better be careful there.. unless you are open and honest with each guy and let them all know you are dating around.. then by this forums definition you will be a "player". If anything progresses, I will let them know, for sure. I have been on the other side of the "player" thing, and it did not feel good. Guy #3 already knows I am other dating people, and we haven't even met yet. Who asked whom out first? He asked me out.
Yukikazi Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 He asked me out. Then he pays.. This is why you go for coffee or something first to see if there is any chemistry.. if there is.. proceed to dinner date.. if not.. you are out the cost of a cup of coffee. Just don't expect the guy to pay for everything.. this is the 21st century.. you ladies are perfectly capable of holding your own.. so offer to pay for some things or switch off.
Author pandagirl Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 Then he pays.. This is why you go for coffee or something first to see if there is any chemistry.. if there is.. proceed to dinner date.. if not.. you are out the cost of a cup of coffee. Just don't expect the guy to pay for everything.. this is the 21st century.. you ladies are perfectly capable of holding your own.. so offer to pay for some things or switch off. I ALWAYS offer to pay. I especially think after the first date, things should be split in half. But, I've never been on a first date where the guy didn't insist on paying. Sorry, I'm an empowered woman, but a little chivalry still goes a long way for me.
Yukikazi Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Whomever does the asking does the paying imo. Once you are dating then you can deal with sharing expenses. Offering to pay your half is good.. we do appreciate the gesture even if we have zero intention of letting you pay anything but attention to us
FeelingLonely98 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 This is the first time I've ever done anything like this and I'm 31. By nature, I am NOT a multi-tasker in anything I do, especially dating! That being said, it isn't difficult, because I've only first dates. The problem will arise IF I find more than one guy worthy of actually DATING. How are you finding all these dates? Are you on an online dating community? Also wanted to add, Guy #2 DID NOT pay for my drinks AND when we split the tab, I actually ended up paying more than my share. What a dork!! Guys, I have to say, on a FIRST date, you should really offer to pay. : / No, the guy should not offer to pay - he should just pay. By "offering" he is reinforcing that he is paying. Is he looking for brownie points?
Author pandagirl Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 How are you finding all these dates? Are you on an online dating community? What a dork!! No, the guy should not offer to pay - he should just pay. By "offering" he is reinforcing that he is paying. Is he looking for brownie points? Yes, OK Cupid has been my source! At first, I thought maybe he didn't offer to pay because he wasn't into me, which would've been fine, but then he wanted to hang out longer when I started to make my way home and asked me out again. OH well!
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