trueluV Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 What's the most effective or easiest way for a girl to initiate a physical contact to a guy? we're both late 20's, very shy, went on 5 dates, but still no holding hands or a kiss..I am starting to like this guy, and i do think he has interest in me, but i want to know if this is going to the next level, and i think at this point the only way to tell is to try something physical and see if he likes it. so, guys, what should i do? touch his arm? i'm too shy to suddenly kiss him,,,or how can i make him kiss me? or any kind of physical contact so i can tell his level of interest in me... thanks!
MadDriver Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Initiate the hand-holding. The touchy-feely females tend to beat me to the punch -- I try to escalate it early, but I guess I'm not fast enough for some. He will never reject your initiative, since in his mind that would signify that he's afraid of girls, and thus incite his latent homophobia. In short, you're testing his masculinity, and he will hold your hand back to prove that he's a real man (as opposed to a girlie man). Anything short of that would, in his mind, be a sign that he is ga-hey.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Initiate the hand-holding. That's precisely what I was going to suggest. When you're walking next to each other, walk close to him. Brush your hand against his a little. IME, guys usually grab your hand at that point. If he doesn't, but at the same time doesn't recoil, slide your hand into his. I generally follow the contact up with a demure smile so he knows I'm diggin it.
DustySaltus Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I bet you a dollar this guy just got out of a real serious relationship OR is a confused young man. Five dates already? At the rate this is going you'll probably meet his parents before you kiss him. The next time you are sitting somewhere, massage his upper thigh...if he doesn't get the point by then, he's got bigger problems..... good luck
Author trueluV Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Five dates already? At the rate this is going you'll probably meet his parents before you kiss him. good luck hahah that's so funny! i know! i think we're both very-very shy. I don't think i can brush my hands to his....i don't mind him making any sort of move to me, but i don't think i have guts to initiate it. the most i can do is touch his arm. oh well!!
Pizzaman81 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Are you the girl or boy? Stop being so uptight. Joke around! when you joke, you touch them, brush up against them.
Author trueluV Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Are you the girl or boy? Stop being so uptight. Joke around! when you joke, you touch them, brush up against them. I'm the girl. he's shy, and I'm shy-no clue, huh joking and touching him sounds like something i can try...after a glass of wine
BobSacamento Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Challenge him to an arm wrestling match.
sonicranger Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I agree with the hand holding or if theres an opportunity to put your arm around him, not around his shoulder, thats too friendish, around his waist. Ya know, just if you to are walking somewhere or something like that, either go for the hand hold or put your arm around his waist. As previously said, if he doesn't get it by then...good luck!!!
Pizzaman81 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I'm the girl. he's shy, and I'm shy-no clue, huh joking and touching him sounds like something i can try...after a glass of wine C'mon! you need wine? Say a joke. I bet you can! You do this: 1. Say something funny, or tease him about something 2. Laugh out loud 3. Put your arm on him in a playful way 4. Gentle squeeze his arm a few times. There see? not that hard Do not however insult him about his height, weight, age, living situation, financial situation and mental health.
Yukikazi Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Trueluv seriously?? You don't think you can handle brushing against his hand? It would be the back of your hand brushing against his.. there is absolutely nothing sexual about that if you are just walkin down the street and it happens. If you are both as shy as you say.. this is gonna be a really long break in period.. You may even get your first kiss on easter. 1 of you needs to grow a pair of nuts and try something. What have you got to lose? Imagine if he is so shy that he wont make a move w/o knowing for absolute surety that you are interested.. if you never show that.. or assume that he will figure it out from your body language and conversation.. I think this will be a very.. very long thread.. and a very uneventful one.. When you are walking down the street.. loop your arm through his.. Don't think about it just frackin do it.
Author trueluV Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 Trueluv seriously?? You don't think you can handle brushing against his hand? It would be the back of your hand brushing against his.. there is absolutely nothing sexual about that if you are just walkin down the street and it happens. If you are both as shy as you say.. this is gonna be a really long break in period.. You may even get your first kiss on easter. 1 of you needs to grow a pair of nuts and try something. What have you got to lose? Imagine if he is so shy that he wont make a move w/o knowing for absolute surety that you are interested.. if you never show that.. or assume that he will figure it out from your body language and conversation.. I think this will be a very.. very long thread.. and a very uneventful one.. When you are walking down the street.. loop your arm through his.. Don't think about it just frackin do it. hey yukikazi, yes, seriously, believe it or not, i don't think i can brush my hands against his...and let alone looping my arm through his.. gosh, didn't know i am this shy!! the best thing for me to try at this point, is to drink a bit with him and try to touch his arm, and see his reaction. that's the most i can do. this guy being shy brings out my shyness even more!! if i touch his arm next time while we're drinking, do you think he'll take it as a sign i'm interested in him? I do think i can get crazy/buzzed and do something, like touch him more, but i don't want to come across too desperate or scare him off.
BobSacamento Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Play twister. Offer to read his palm and make stuff up.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Do not however insult him about his height, weight, age, living situation, financial situation and mental health. Why the hell not? You're taking out half the fun, here. 4 out of those 7, the last guy I dated teased me about (I'll give you a hint - he never teased my looks LOL) and I adored the hell out of him.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 OP - you come here asking how to initiate physical contact and the people here have given you VERY good ideas. All you can say in response is "can't, can't, can't." It's ridiculous. The rate you're going - you're both going to end up friendzoning each other because neither thinks the other is interested because nobody will freaking touch the other person. Gees. Get over it, already. I mean, what do you REALLY think is going to happen that is sooooooo awful if you try to just barely brush your hand against his while walking in public? He's going to screech like a little girl, jump away from you and look at you like you just gave him herpes? I mean seriously - I don't get it. I'm a shy person, so don't think I don't understand "shy." That's a BS excuse. If you are SOOOO painfully shy that you can't even touch a guy in a non-sexual way, then I think this guy is all wrong for you. You need somebody that's more physically assertive. This guy definitely isn't. Quit asking "how" if you're going to blow off every single idea people try to give you. If I knew you in person, I would shove you at him so that you'd run into him and be forced to touch him.
Yukikazi Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 hey yukikazi, yes, seriously, believe it or not, i don't think i can brush my hands against his...and let alone looping my arm through his.. gosh, didn't know i am this shy!! the best thing for me to try at this point, is to drink a bit with him and try to touch his arm, and see his reaction. that's the most i can do. this guy being shy brings out my shyness even more!! if i touch his arm next time while we're drinking, do you think he'll take it as a sign i'm interested in him? I do think i can get crazy/buzzed and do something, like touch him more, but i don't want to come across too desperate or scare him off. Sweetie.. stop asking questions and just do it. You can step out of your comfort zone. Believe me.. hell i went up to a few girls tonight and started touching immediately.. out of all the girls I talked to.. 1 pushed my hand away from her hip. The rest either returned it or didn't react cause there wasn't anything sexual about it.. hand on the arm when making a point or emphasizing something.. on the back to pull them close to tell them something etc.. You can do it. Tell me.. what is the absolute worst thing that could happen if you put your arm around him or held his hand? Absolutely nada! He will either not react, react positively or politely remove your hand. I can 99.999% guarantee he wont remove your hand and he will probably reciprocate. Once more.. what have you got to lose? You are heading straight for the friendzone.. calcify that spine of yours and touch the guy.
Author trueluV Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 alright, alright guys- thanks for your suggestions,I really really appreciate you guys trying to help me out here. Okay, I'll give it a try - touching his arm, and maybe i can even try to brush my hands against his if the first one works out. yeah, what's the worst that can happen-if he freaks out or doesn't like it at least i know and can drop it with him, right? and if he doesn't respond, I'll try again to see if he takes it positively or negatively. if he doesn't respond, then he doesn't hate it right? which means i can keep doing or go one step further?
Yukikazi Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 alright, alright guys- thanks for your suggestions,I really really appreciate you guys trying to help me out here. Okay, I'll give it a try - touching his arm, and maybe i can even try to brush my hands against his if the first one works out. yeah, what's the worst that can happen-if he freaks out or doesn't like it at least i know and can drop it with him, right? and if he doesn't respond, I'll try again to see if he takes it positively or negatively. if he doesn't respond, then he doesn't hate it right? which means i can keep doing or go one step further? No response or no reaction isn't a no... remember that. Unless he says otherwise or makes it clear he is uncomfortable.. don't stop trying to get your hands on him.. and keeping them there.
bac Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 to initiate contact you need to be in the right place and at the right time. You both should be alone in a place, sitting close next to each other. start with talking, put your hand on his neck/shoulder or whatever , perhaps, your legs on his laps/or on couch, ask his questions and listen to him, smile. then in 2-10 minutes he will make an effort to kiss your lips no matter how shy and reserved he is. you may add alcoholic drink to the picture but it is optional.
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