The Importance of Being Earnest

[Toki]

I've been meeting up with this girl for about a week now, she's smart, funny, gorgeous... and completely hung up on her ex...

 

Anyways, we were talking and the "subject" came up again, and instead of going along with it, I just said my bit, that it seemed like she wasn't over him, and that I found it to be tedious, and boring. That I refused to be a martyr. I was under the impression that this would end it, and this was a little frustrating. The thing is, is that it had the exact opposite effect I thought it would have, instead of that being the end, now she's apologizing and saying that what I had said, really woke her up. I have a hard time buying it, I think she's still lost and hurt, and she wanted to be with someone to make up for it. But I dislike the notion of being measured up to her ex every time she looks at me, I'm not the dirty, cheating, lying, lawyer type.

 

I said, I'd be willing to help her through it, if that's what she wants, but as far as ever having an intimate relationship is concerned, there are other pressing matters first. Was this the right thing to do?

 

The devil's advocate says I should have went along with it, but I'm tired of always coming out the bad guy.

[temple]

I think that you pushed her into a decision that she has now made rashly.People need time to get over their exes, some A LOT more than others. Getting angry about her inability to forget him won't do you any favours in the long run. I think the best thing to say to her is that you will give her space until she has given her past relationship a clean resolution and is now ready to get into a healthy relationship with her. Step back. If she is ready, she will follow. But her heart is obviously not ready to open up to another person just yet, no matter what she professes. I hope this helps

[TaraMaiden]

Damn.

There goes that in-depth discussion about Oscar Wilde.....

Just another thread about a flaky girl.....*sigh*.....