Unsure1115 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Ok I met this girl about a month ago through mutual friends during dinner in our dining hall in our dorm. I started liking her and since our mutual friends new I liked her they gave me her number and told me to text her. I talked to her a little bit and started asking her to join us for dinner everyday. I eventually invited her over to hang out with my roommates and I and we all had a few drinks. My neighbor came over and drunkenly and very creepily tried to hit on her and she was all over me trying to stay away from him. I don't know if she just was scared of him or wanted to be near me. We've hung out a few more times and we went to the club and she danced with me pretty much all night. At the end of the night on the bus she put her head on my shoulder which I figure could be a good sign or she was just drunk and tired. Unfortunantly she never really tries to start convos with me online or through text and I always have to intiate contact between us. This makes me think she doesn't like me. Also when we do talk she doesnt really say a lot im not sure if shes just shy or doesn't want to talk to me. Also, all of her friends say she isnt over her ex boyfriend although theyve been broken up for a few months and he has a new girl.
DustySaltus Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 The girl is all over you and dances with you all night but she doesn't talk to you online, so you think she may not like you? Think about it, of course she's INTERESTED in you. However, i'd be careful at the fact that she's not over her EX BF. I say have fun with her but don't develop any expectations. Winter break is coming up and a lot of stuff can happen between then and the new semester. I don't mean to **** on your parade, you just need to have your eyes wide open with this one so you don't leave yourself open to disappointment. Good luck.
silic0ntoad Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 If you're not sure, then she doesn't like you.
DustySaltus Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 If you're not sure, then she doesn't like you. All I know is that if he doesn't make a move soon, he will be friendzoned. Either way he should be careful though because of her not being over the ex.
silic0ntoad Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 That's true. And we all know the friendzone: It's a dark, cold, inhopspitable place. I'd say don't put your feelings into this one. Generally, when I tried to get with a girl that I found out wasn't over an ex, it led to all sorts of games and drama. IDK. For my heart, I'd tell you to keep your distance. Since you seem to be into her, I would do a few things. Initiate contact for a few more "dates". I'd say two-three. Once you reach the 2nd or 3rd date, put your feelings out there. Don't expect immediate response. I would say something along the lines of: "So we're getting along really well. We should be exclusive." Don't ask. Suggest. Then see where it goes from there.
boogieboy Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Start making moves on her, dont drag this out longer than you have to. On another note, I hate to tell you this, but I wasnt very talkative when I was depressed about my ex, because I was always thinking about her. This could be the case with her. You better be the funnest guy in the world to make her forget about her ex if thats the case. If you cant get her to open up, bail out...dont be her rebound.
Yukikazi Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Since winter break is coming up you have the opportunity to pull back a little. The flag here is the fact that she doesn't initiate.. she is investing no effort to even be friends is she? If you are always initiating.. tell us.. if you stopped starting the conversations.. how long do you think it would take her to call or text you? I've had this once before where the girl didn't actually make any effort to stay in communication.. so i stopped calling/texting her... Mind you this was after she had jumped me at a convention and stayed in my hotel 4 nights.... guess I was just a vacation fling
Miko Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 My take is that you NEED to initiate something FAST! You're coming up on the point in time where she's going to assume that you DON'T like her because women expect you to do something about it pretty quickly. You must ASSUME that she likes you! Do you really want to be just friends? Probably not So what do you have to lose? Nothing Also, I would recommend against spilling your guts and saying 'you know I really like you a lot' and all that. Show her, don't tell. The night where she was clinging to you when the creepy guy was around would've been a good time. The night she was laying her head on you would've been a good time to run your fingers through her hair or something. As long as she's just sober enough to remember a little thing like that, she'll get the point. Women don't need to be told that you like them. They're plenty capable of figuring it out as long as you do SOMETHING physical to show them. It doesn't take much. If you're unsure it's ok to move slowly but it has to be physical. Touch her casually on her arm, shoulder, maybe her leg if you're comfortable together and so on just escalate from there as HER comfort level permits. You're not going to 'talk' a girl into liking you most likely you need to make her feel something and a human touch can be very powerful. BUT, once you 'think' she likes you. It's your move again, kiss her. It isn't always blatantly obvious to us(men) when a woman likes us, mainly because that would require her flat out telling us, which she's unlikely to do. Unless you're a cocky SOB and think that every girl likes you. Ever notice that those guys do pretty well for themselves? Oh yeah, FORGET about the ex boyfriend. Sure maybe it could be a problem later but she certainly won't forget about him until she has someone new, hopefully YOU!
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