heartsafire69 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Well let me spill the beans... as quick and clearly as possible. In spring 2007, I met someone from a penpal site, who lived in England and we quickly hit it off (she wrote to me initially), discovering many things in common. We developed a nice rapport.. as such our emails gradually increased and we started to call each other etc. By the end of the year, in person meetings were discussed...then she made reservations to come to the US to visit me for a week. It was magical, the feelings built up over the previous weeks and months surely materialized face to face. Even though we didn't do too much, we never got bored. That of course, made the separation difficult. We knew the drawbacks of the distance, and forged ahead, staying together in thoughts and spirit while apart, emailing regularly and chatting via phone and messenger when we could. Then a few months later I managed to come see her in the UK. Despite my trepidations of flying etc. (which she was considerate of..I had never travelled nearly so far alone and was my first time in a plane in 13 years, as opposed to her trekking all over the globe through the years ), I could not wait to be with her again..and the experience in more ways than one proved to be unforgettable. Not to mention it expanded my horizons. I returned to her side of the pond a second time this spring, not as jittery about the travel rigoramole. Saw some more astounding sights around her region, did things as before like go to the movies, bowling, eating out etc..with my jaw dropping at every turn it seemed, just as I did on my first journey there. Of course the most important aspect was the togetherness. Now I should add some differences did surface, not necessarily on that occasion, and we had our share of disagreements..(and became apparent that I cringe at confrontation)..but spats do occur in any relationship, and we emerged on the other side of them being closer. My family adored her too, and vice versa. Shortly after I returned home from my last visit in May, she made arrangements to visit us for 13 days (at the end of August into September)..including a three night mini-getaway for the two of us, in a hotel etc, also a belated birthday gift for me. Over and over she said, again, how pumped up she was, looking forward to it, re-emphasizing that on her b-day card to me. In the interim we carried on talking..though she had been working so much that she could barely email or call. She was having strained relations with her parents and wished to relocate in her general area to find a place herself, which I knew for awhile. Then a few weeks prior to her scheduled arrival, I get a brief message saying, " I know this is from out of the blue, but.. I am not coming over...I realize this will cause so much hurt...I just can't continue...I will explain soon.." In addition she stated briefly that she did in fact move to a nearby village..of course that is a stressful event in anyone's life. There's more to it than just that I suspect. Obviously this was beyond the scope of shocking. My family, especially my mom who became quite fond of her, is totally baffled. There wasn't any warning I could discern, no major altercations or tension that had occured recently, no hint that this was imminent. I should add that she wanted eventually to come here to the US to live permanantly, with me, and we discussed the matter often, aware of the intricacies, patience and dedication etc required for that to be possible. She did send an email a week after the bombshell mentioning how sorry she was, acted "horribly", still cares, feelings haven't changed and they never would, she wishes she could undo the pain and hoped I would someday forgive her. Also saying that, by doing this..she has her "reasons", and they have "my best interests at heart". I sent a message back, stating the disbelief, sadness etc. while also mentioning I did forgive her, which I do. That was four months ago. Nothing back from her since and I've come to expect there will not be another word. So whatever the reasons are, to this day only she knows. Maybe it is for the better at this point than I don't (?) I would've tried to remain good friends with her at least, apparently she couldn't even manage that. So does this seem familiar to anyone...
TaraMaiden Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Nope. but I think it sounds like she was building a fantasy and got caught up in it, then had to undo the damage, because reality smacked her in the face.... I can only imagine that actually she had never been entirely honest with you from the start, had a personal secret, and it became too much to continue. but this is all pure hypothesis.
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