ForeverAwkward Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I'm a 28 year old female with very little dating/relationship experience (dated 4 guys, but they didn't lead to anything), and I've recently started hanging out with this guy (29) who I suspect is in the same boat as me. I do like him, and he seems to like me too. Wednesday last week, he hung out with me and my best friend, and at the end of the day, he hugged me and told me to call him when I wanted to hang out again. I intended to call him over the weekend, but I got sick (flu going around at work). On Monday, I got an interview for a job he was encouraging me to go after, so I called him to give him the news and try to make plans for another time to hang out, but I got his voicemail. I left him a message, telling him I got another interview and to call me back when he gets a chance (I wanted to make plans to get together again when he called back). It's been two days and I still have not heard from him. Usually, when I leave him a message, he always returns the call or text within the day. Since we're not exactly dating, should I forgive him for this one incident, and call him again?
temple Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I guess he just got busy..or he could be going through some troubles himself and has put you on hold for a little. People have their reasons, and after all it has only been two days. I'd say wait around for a week before contacting him again. You want it to seem as though you have your own things to get on with, anyway! (I think a week is long enough because he has already shown interest in you, it's best to give him the benefit of the doubt for him not contacting you immediately)
phineas Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 If I don't have time to sit down & talk to a woman I will wait to call her back until I do. sometimes it is a couple of days. Since i'm not dateing them i don't put them at the top of the list. If I was dateing them I'd at least fire off a text to let them know i'll call them when I get a chance.
Author ForeverAwkward Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Thanks, guys. I wasn't sure if I should just assume he's lost interest or not, but you're right, it's only been a couple days. I actually decided to call him again today, which might have been too soon, I know. I got his voicemail again, but I left him a message asking him if he was wanted to hang out sometime this weekend, since I wasn't sure if I was clear in my last message. I know it might of reeked of desperation, but at least now I'll know that if he doesn't respond, he's probably lost interest and I can move on.
Boundary Problem Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Put him on the backburner. Sometimes guys legitimately get busy with work and they forget who was supposed to call who. But you calling twice in a row sort of nixes that scenario. I wouldn't sweat it - just live your own life. And if you two see each other again, just make sure you have fun. Keep it casual and light-hearted until you get to know each other.
Author ForeverAwkward Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Put him on the backburner. Sometimes guys legitimately get busy with work and they forget who was supposed to call who. But you calling twice in a row sort of nixes that scenario. I wouldn't sweat it - just live your own life. And if you two see each other again, just make sure you have fun. Keep it casual and light-hearted until you get to know each other. Yeah, that's pretty much my plan now. I really liked him too, so I'm trying to prepare for the worst.
soconfusing Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 The fact is, after your date on Wednesday, he told you to call him. From my experience, when a guy is really interested in seeing you, he does not wait for you to call him. He will be usually calling and/or texting you maybe more than you even want him to, trying to find out when you guys can get together again. So, by telling you to call him instead, it takes the responsibility/blame off of him should you never manage to get around to calling him. Then it's your fault, not his if you guys don't get together again.
Author ForeverAwkward Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 (edited) Well, he got back to me today, and we made plans to get together this weekend (said he was very busy during the week). Like I said though, we are not dating, just hanging out together, usually in group settings. But since I do like him, I was worried about pushing him away by calling too much. Edited December 12, 2009 by ForeverAwkward
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