ajikan Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 hey guys! ill start off with some back ground: My gf is in university and i lives with 8 other people, and weve only been together about 5 months Altho we very much love each other. and i dnt really like most of her room mates 'cos there basically ******* and she knows i dont like them and is cool with it (they start fights and smash her stuff and things there dicks), well anyway 2 of them r her 2 closest friends and honestly they drive me up the wall. there very clingy and never leaves us alone we've only been alone once for an hour in the past month and were both sick of it, and one is a attention whore and is for ever cheating on her boyfriends, and ive put a brave face and got on with them thus far. they quiet regularly make snappy comments or do nasty things to me when ive done nothing wrong, but i just laugh them off cos i really love my girlfriend and they wont be living together next year. now the problem, ive posted some questional thingys (all inside jokes to my friends) on fb and from the outside, and had the ones mother altho have ago at me even tho i dont know her, just came up in the street, but then today i posted a picture off fail blog i found, not at all intented for her viewing and she decided to have a massive arguement with me about how it was extremely offensive. and well after trying to be civil for the shake of my gf whilst being called all names under the sun, alot came out in that agruement like how i didnt like her and she should stay out of my business and not police what i say or get her mother involved, and well lets just say she hates me now and that means the other friend probably does aswell. does this mean my relationship is now doomed to fail? just because her friends where being very unreasonable. or is there a way i can salvage this one? i personally dont think i should apologise because i think it was her being unreasonable many times in the past. but if its what i have to do to keep my relationship i will cos i really love her. well i would really appriechate your advice thanks
temple Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Um, it sounds like you have made up your mind you're not in the wrong so why would you apologise? To me it sounds a bit like pretty much everyone has done something wrong at some point. Regardless of whether you're in the 'right' or not, you hurt her feelings, someone you love. It would show a lot of maturity if you apologise to her, but only if you mean it.
JL911 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Id stand your ground...If shes worried about dating you because of how her friends see you then its not really worth it...
Crow9726 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 From the perspective of an older person...why jeopardize your relationship with her by putting assinine and juvenile comments on your FB account? Surely you are smart enough to know that the information there is in no way private and would eventually get back to the person you offended and mutual friends. It seems that you're being self destructive inside your relationship by doing so. It always makes me wonder why younger people have to advertise every thought and movement for the world to see. Is discretion a long lost art??? You definitely need to apologize to EVERYONE involved...man up...or else your relationship is going to die a slow and horrible death. Stop being petty and grow a pair...along with some thick skin. Just my opinion...
Miko Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Apologize to your GF for contributing to the situation. Take whatever it was off FB. Consider apologizing to her friend IF you think it would make things easier for your GF, and for that reason alone. In my experience girls don't like it when you talk bad about their friends, even IF they do the same. They're her friends, not yours. Whatever you do, be STRONG about it. Sometimes being strong means apologizing. Usually it means doing whatever's the most difficult thing to do.
Yukikazi Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Apologize to your GF for contributing to the situation. Take whatever it was off FB. Consider apologizing to her friend IF you think it would make things easier for your GF, and for that reason alone. In my experience girls don't like it when you talk bad about their friends, even IF they do the same. They're her friends, not yours. Whatever you do, be STRONG about it. Sometimes being strong means apologizing. Usually it means doing whatever's the most difficult thing to do. Why the hell should he edit his FB cause of the friend? She isn't his friend.. she has no say in whats on his wall.. if she finds offense to it.. she can defriend or he can do the same.. If he apologizes for that then he is a wuss. His only concern is his GF's mood and happyness.. not his GF's friend.
Miko Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Why the hell should he edit his FB cause of the friend? She isn't his friend.. she has no say in whats on his wall.. if she finds offense to it.. she can defriend or he can do the same.. If he apologizes for that then he is a wuss. His only concern is his GF's mood and happyness.. not his GF's friend. He should edit his facebook because it takes like 2 seconds and doesn't cost a cent and may help. Like I said, ONLY IF it would take some heat off his girlfriend. I agree, who cares about the friend, but if they are friends, they're friends and you can't or shouldn't allow his GF to feel like she has to choose him or her. His GF probably doesn't want to deal with it. Anyways, he doesn't have to TELL anyone he took it off FB, just do it so it doesn't cause any more issues. If it's your girlfriend then it's your job to help protect her from stupid situations as much as possible if you can do anything about it. That's what a strong man would do in my opinion. I think there's a big difference between being a 'strong man' and a 'stubborn tough guy'. I do think he should CASUALLY apologize TO his GF for 'contributing' to this in a non-wussy sorta way. I definitely wouldn't take much if any of the blame and he should make it clear that he doesn't think it's his fault. Maybe he could say 'do you think it would be easier on you if I apologized to her, I would do that for you if you wanted' Anyways, I think it's always a good idea to get along with your GF's friends. I do mean 'get along with' as opposed to 'putting up with.' It's hard to get along with people you despise though but may be worth the effort in a relationship scenario.
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