polksaladannie Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 We have all seen it on tv soaps..the BW catching her MM in bed with his OW...the BH doing the same. Has anyone here caught their spouse in a compromising situation? What did you do? Did you freak out,cry,get violent?
Woggle Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 I caught my ex wife in bed with the OM naked. She is not worth risking an assault charge over so I did not get violent but I still when I think of the look of utter fear on his face. I am surprised he didn't lose control of his bowels.
CarrieT Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 20 years ago, I came home early from work and found my husband with two other MEN. I had a complete melt-down -- fetal position and crying for days...
Fallen Angel Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 I caught my now xH with another woman when I was six months pregnant, I told her that my issue was not with her, and to just stay out of it while I dealt with him. I picked up one of his steel -toed boots off the floor to hit him with, but she actually shoved me in the back, knocking me to my knees! She was a one night stand (she is the one who told me that), so I didn't really understand her desire to assualt me in order to protect him. (Of course had I actually hit him, he may have killed me, so I am glad I didn't.) But what I did do, was turn and hit her right in the head with the toe of that steel toed boot, about 20 times. The police came in and stopped me. I was arrested for assault. (it is actually lucky for her that it was me that responded to her attacking me, as me being in the way saved her from him, he would have done much worse to her for hitting me *he was the only one allowed to do that apparently ) Thing is, I would have never have touched her had she not assaulted me first. (She too was arrested.) My issue was not with her, it was with him. He was the one who made a commitment to me. He was the one who knew I was waiting at home six months pregnant with his child. I spent about an hour in jail (booking, fingerprinting, pictures, signing paperwork etc), he was at the jailhouse before I was even booked in waiting with the bondsman. She spent 3 days in jail. I got 100 hours of community service and the probation and court costs were waived by the judge, for my crime. (since I was pregnant the judge actually allowed my husband to serve 50 of my community service hours for me , so I only did 50) She got 200 hrs community service, 2 weeks in jail (given 3 days credit for the 3 days she had already served so spent an additional 11 days), and 1 year probabtion, and had to pay a fine of 1500 dollars plus court costs. (maybe she got more because it was not her first ever crime? I had never so much as had a ticket for spitting gum on the sidewalk before then.) This was the first time I caught him, and even though I got off lightly, I never acted in anger like that again. All the others that came afterwards were just that to me, others that would come and go... i knew I didn't love him, and that he didn't love me, and I only stayed because I was afraid of him, and afraid of being alone. So I was actually grateful sometimes, that he was busy with someone else. Nights that he didn't come home, were nights I felt safe while I slept.
torranceshipman Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 I caught my now xH with another woman when I was six months pregnant, I told her that my issue was not with her, and to just stay out of it while I dealt with him. I picked up one of his steel -toed boots off the floor to hit him with, but she actually shoved me in the back, knocking me to my knees! She was a one night stand (she is the one who told me that), so I didn't really understand her desire to assualt me in order to protect him. (Of course had I actually hit him, he may have killed me, so I am glad I didn't.) But what I did do, was turn and hit her right in the head with the toe of that steel toed boot, about 20 times. The police came in and stopped me. I was arrested for assault. (it is actually lucky for her that it was me that responded to her attacking me, as me being in the way saved her from him, he would have done much worse to her for hitting me *he was the only one allowed to do that apparently ) Thing is, I would have never have touched her had she not assaulted me first. (She too was arrested.) My issue was not with her, it was with him. He was the one who made a commitment to me. He was the one who knew I was waiting at home six months pregnant with his child. I spent about an hour in jail (booking, fingerprinting, pictures, signing paperwork etc), he was at the jailhouse before I was even booked in waiting with the bondsman. She spent 3 days in jail. I got 100 hours of community service and the probation and court costs were waived by the judge, for my crime. (since I was pregnant the judge actually allowed my husband to serve 50 of my community service hours for me , so I only did 50) She got 200 hrs community service, 2 weeks in jail (given 3 days credit for the 3 days she had already served so spent an additional 11 days), and 1 year probabtion, and had to pay a fine of 1500 dollars plus court costs. (maybe she got more because it was not her first ever crime? I had never so much as had a ticket for spitting gum on the sidewalk before then.) This was the first time I caught him, and even though I got off lightly, I never acted in anger like that again. All the others that came afterwards were just that to me, others that would come and go... i knew I didn't love him, and that he didn't love me, and I only stayed because I was afraid of him, and afraid of being alone. So I was actually grateful sometimes, that he was busy with someone else. Nights that he didn't come home, were nights I felt safe while I slept. Oh God what a horrible story, I really feel for you, FallenAngel! Are you with a MM now? Sounds like you really deserve someone lovely to take care of you properly, not an MM (another guy who isn't giving you what you need but who is, by all accounts, a lot better than your ex-H by the sounds of things).
Samantha0905 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 My good friend caught her boyfriend -- who incidentally was her AP she had left her emotionally/physically abusive husband for -- having sex with a woman in his office. She broke his knee with a bat. Funny thing is, they're still friends -- just not lovers anymore.
Fallen Angel Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Oh God what a horrible story, I really feel for you, FallenAngel! Are you with a MM now? Sounds like you really deserve someone lovely to take care of you properly, not an MM (another guy who isn't giving you what you need but who is, by all accounts, a lot better than your ex-H by the sounds of things). I am with a MM, and you are right he is SO much better than my xH. How long I stay in yet another unhealthy relationship though, remains to be seen. The fact that I now see it for what it is (unhealthy) is a big step forward for me. Thanks for your kind words. I would have PMed my response so as not to thread jack, but you have Pms off it appears. Thanks again.
seibert253 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Good friend of mine came home early from work one day to "surprise" his wife. Guess who got the the "surprise". He told me he snuck in through the garage door, and when he entered the house he heard music emanating from their bedroom. Buddy said he crept down the hall and quietly opened the bedroom door. Found OM and wife in bed, with the OM on top. Told me he walked up to the bed, and gave a loud fake cough. He said the "oh sh#t" look on their faces was almost comical. My buddy stated the OM, crawled under the covers and his wife was yelling, WTF are you doing here, GTF out, blah, blah, blah. Buddy said he pulled the covers off the OM, pulled out his wallet, took out a 5 spot, and threw it on the bed telling OM, "here dude, go get yourself something decent". My guy then left. My bud came to my work and told me what happened. We left and drove to his house. W and OM were gone. Helped him pack his wife's sh#t, and put it out in the driveway. He texted his W telling her she left some things when she left, and she needs to come get them or they're going to the dump. Later that nite I helped him load his bed into my truck, and we took it out to some property he had and burned it. Wife blamed everything on him, yada, yada, stayed with a friend of hers for a couple of weeks. My buddy knew the OM and finally told OM's wife a couple of weeks later. OM threw my buddy's W under the bus after OM's W confronted OM. Buddy's W tried to come home, Too late. Buddy got split custody and got to keep the home. His new W is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
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