Author acac2323 Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Jobs are important in keeping spouses as well scriv...
Scrivdog Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Jobs are important in keeping spouses as well scriv... And yet 99% of us work near enough to home to be there every night and on weekends. Yeah I know, lemme guess - you're special, right?
Author acac2323 Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 Of your statistics I would say that makes me special....Thanks
Scrivdog Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Of your statistics I would say that makes me special....Thanks And howse that working for you?
hopeful1980 Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 For me, it really was just day to day conversation and honest affection. He cared about the things I said, remembered the names of the friends and co-workers I spoke about, and made sure I knew he was really listening. He cared about my opinions, and asked for advice occasionally and even sometimes acted upon my advice. he read books I was reading. He told me I was smart, and funny. He laughed at my jokes, and comforted me when I cried. If I was having a bad day he said he was sorry, and it was heartfelt. That was before I realized it was an EA.. we were just friends.. but that is what made me fall in love with him. What women wouldn't want this? He sounds perfect. I wonder how you could have done so your husband was more motivated to act like him?
Author acac2323 Posted December 11, 2009 Author Posted December 11, 2009 And howse that working for you? If you read earlier in this thread quite well scriv....Reading and spelling are over rated huh...Scriv=troll Nice that you are stalking down posters and offering sound advice...
N'MOR Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 My OM made me feel like a goddess. Really. Never felt it before. I have 2 children and been with my H for 12 years. It started out just as an odd email on facebook about the gym. And then one night we chatted. Then began my EA. It was downright amazing in the beginning. (Did I mention that I am 34 and he is 22?) Late night/Early morning emails. Text Messages during the workday. Phone conversations. Then plans to meet. Amazing. I felt so alive and on top of the world. Finally I felt I knew where I wanted to be in my life. You ask what does OM say to keep us going back for more? My answer is like this: We need to feel special, sexy, important and when we don't feel it then chances are we are gonna keep going back to what makes us feel like that. If OM brings those feelings out, we are gonna go back. I had never thought I would be in this situation. My H found the emails. We separated. And he cannot forgive me, although he has tried. I shouldn't have cheated. Now I'm angry for the things I done. The OM and I have had NC since first week of August. I tried to contact him a couple of times because I felt I needed him to make me feel good again, he was like my own personal drug. It's been 4 months and I think about him everyday, and there was a time that I had thought I had fallen for him. Although I know that is not true because, it was all about sex. He won't speak to me, my H can't forgive me. I'm alone. Deserved no doubt. I have learned some valuable lessons, I have to say.
2sunny Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Scriv, I make over 200K a year in my career field...If I quit, do you suggest I work at Lowes? I have 60 days left here. My W said she is over with the OM and can easily wait til Feb to carry on our new adventure we found while I was home in Nov...Quitting my job is not an option. If it does start up again and she does leave I have decided that I am comfortable with myself to move on. I love her and want the best for her. I will fight for her, but for now all seems to be well. this shows your W that $ is more important than standing in front of her every day. money... is it worth more money to risk losing the M? is it that important to you to achieve? where are the priorities? most wives would eventually realize that you aren't willing to sacrifice the "stuff" in order to save the M. how have YOU been connecting EVERYDAY, intimately with your W since this has come to light? if you don't spend an hour or so EVERYDAY making her feel wanted, special and desired - she is sure to find someone who will.
eeyore1981 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 this shows your W that $ is more important than standing in front of her every day. money... is it worth more money to risk losing the M? is it that important to you to achieve? where are the priorities? most wives would eventually realize that you aren't willing to sacrifice the "stuff" in order to save the M. how have YOU been connecting EVERYDAY, intimately with your W since this has come to light? if you don't spend an hour or so EVERYDAY making her feel wanted, special and desired - she is sure to find someone who will. You do understand his wife was the one who had the A, right? People have to work, at least responsible, able people have to work. If my H could go off for a few months and come back home with 200k to show for it, I'm pretty sure I could manage to get over myself without having an affair.
Blindsidedagainalive Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 It peers into the mind of the cheater. The OM sweet talking is not a new concept. It's HOW they get what they want. Does a decent man/woman CARE about someone if they have sex with you while married? A person that cares would wait until divorce. Many cheaters here are saying their husband did not pay attention to them, and the OM did. WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOU? You will whore yourself out to be focused on, complimented, EWWWWWW. That is the cheapest form of prostitution going. Your self esteem is so fragile that another persons validation will cause you to break THE ONE THING THAT CEMENTS A MARRIAGE...FIDELITY. It is really disgusting. It would be nice to hear...... I cheated because I have personal issues that I own and want to address. My self esteem is so low that I would have sex with someone outside my marriage I cannot fathom blaming my spouse for my horrible decision Because, my spouse not filling my endless need for validation is not their problem.....
2sunny Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 You do understand his wife was the one who had the A, right? People have to work, at least responsible, able people have to work. If my H could go off for a few months and come back home with 200k to show for it, I'm pretty sure I could manage to get over myself without having an affair. i understand that part - to continue to stay away when he knows she has been entertaining another man's interests shows that he chooses the money over her wants, needs, desires... and the M. his actions show he chose - plain and simple. it was too much of a sacrifice (money wise) to get home pronto and work on the M with his W. if i were the W - i'd clean out the money and be gone when he FINALLY prioritized me enough to show up.... money or no money - his actions show she is low on his priority list... THAT is what probably got them to this place to begin with. it is impossible to keep a solid connection unless two people are totally connecting on an everyday basis - with significant interaction, preferable face to face - body language tells a LOT! he obviously has that on the back burner - that speaks volumes. if you ignore something long enough - it will go away. it goes and finds what it needs somewhere else... this is animal AND human nature.
eeyore1981 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 i understand that part - to continue to stay away when he knows she has been entertaining another man's interests shows that he chooses the money over her wants, needs, desires... and the M. his actions show he chose - plain and simple. it was too much of a sacrifice (money wise) to get home pronto and work on the M with his W. if i were the W - i'd clean out the money and be gone when he FINALLY prioritized me enough to show up.... money or no money - his actions show she is low on his priority list... THAT is what probably got them to this place to begin with. it is impossible to keep a solid connection unless two people are totally connecting on an everyday basis - with significant interaction, preferable face to face - body language tells a LOT! he obviously has that on the back burner - that speaks volumes. if you ignore something long enough - it will go away. it goes and finds what it needs somewhere else... this is animal AND human nature. I completely disagree with this. My H was gone all the damn time, and I didn't like it at all. He always agreed to do something else if this ever became a problem for me, and when it did become a problem, I was basically told 'tough sh*t', and I still did not have an affair. We fought a lot, and I came very close to ending the marriage. This guy had a job offer for one year. His wife told him she was okay with it. Apparently she was not. That is on her. IIRC, she was already involved with someone else before she told him there was a problem, and he did come home for a short period, but had to go back. IIRC, he cut the one-year period short, but I don't remember how much he cut off, it seems like in half. How much more compromise is he supposed to do? I don't know what kind of job this is, but it is within the realm of possibility if he just dumps the job to run home and hold his wife's hand to keep her from running off with every hard d*ck she comes across, he might lose the ability to get another job, and his credibility would be shot. Maybe his wife can go out and get a job to make the money while he stays home and spends his time monitering her phone bills and internet usage. It does take money to pay for the phone and the internet to have the EA with, and it does take money for vehicles and gas to hook up with the AP.
Bobby2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 It's nothing really. The cheater feels emotionally attached to this new, special, exciting, fun, interesting person. The same way they once felt about the person they are now cheating on.
Recommended Posts