Krazysweet Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Ok so heres the deal, im super confused and i dnt know what to do about the way my relationship with my boyfriend has been going. At the beginnig of the relationship everything was so perfect we felt like we had known each oher for years and we were inseprable after a while he even came to live with me and everything was so great i loved always having him around and he enjoyed my company just as much as i enjoyed his. hes a high stress person n is dealing with ptsd and i understand some things that go on sometimes like mood swings but my problem is that lately he has been very distant and he hasnt been home he has had a lot going on with his fam and i get that but lately the phone calls and txts have gone down he doesnt seem to want to talk to me and when we do talk he seems to get easily irritated with me and when we argue he starts going on about what i do according to him n he twists what i say and somehow it always goes back to me even if i didnt directly put blame on him, for example a few days ago i told him i wanted us to talk about how we can make this relationship better with both of us comming to an agreement n soon after i said that it went to well you dont comunicate, ur not supportive, ur not understanding, u never listen, you,you,you,n i end up getting pretty heated n we just start going on and on and on i think im doing a good job at it i told him to do what he had to do, i listen he just doesnt want to try to understand my point of view and i do everything i can for him im so in love with him n he says he loves me too but it almost seems like he has all this anger towards me n i dont understand why. he agrees to talking it out but it usually turns into an arguement n i get it theres alot going on but i just want to know he still loves me and hes almost emotionless n its driving me nuts cuz i dnt know what to think anymore one minute we are fine n he says he loves me he considers me his wife n so on n the next i stress him out, im not understanding, back to the same sh** n im trying my hardest i realize ive been insecure but im working on it n i havent been as emotional and ive improved , i mean i have stuff going on too but i still give him attention and when i see him he seems to love having me around hes more talkative hes more affectionate but i havent gotten to see him that much in the past like month already and whenever i tend to have feelings he just says here we go again...wtf is that? its almost as if im not allowed to open up about my feelings n i wish i knew how to get him to see my point of view. i know he loves me but idk whats going on idk if hes just extremely stressed or if hes losing those feelings he has for me... id love to hear any advice or comments for the record: he is a sweetheart but that boy has a temper one min we r so happy and the next hes distant, its driving me insane n im starting to feel almost angry, and very sad and I just love him so much i dont want to push him away we have so much fun and we are so alike in a way its crazy i truly feel he's my one am i being paranoid?? what can i do?? the weird thing is we can talk about anything exept stuff like that:confused:
kiss_andmakeup Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Holy crap...do you realize that your entire post only contains like 3 sentences? Maybe add a few periods and I will try to read it again...
Author Krazysweet Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 Ok so heres the deal, im super confused and i dnt know what to do about the way my relationship with my boyfriend has been going. At the beginnig of the relationship everything was so perfect we felt like we had known each oher for years and we were inseprable after a while he even came to live with me and everything was so great. i loved always having him around and he enjoyed my company just as much as i enjoyed his. hes a high stress person n is dealing with ptsd and i understand some things that go on sometimes like mood swings but my problem is that lately he has been very distant and he hasnt been home. he has had a lot going on with his fam and i get that but lately the phone calls and txts have gone down he doesnt seem to want to talk to me and when we do talk he seems to get easily irritated with me. when we argue he starts going on about what i do according to him n he twists what i say and somehow it always goes back to me even if i didnt directly put blame on him, for example a few days ago i told him i wanted us to talk about how we can make this relationship better with both of us coming to an agreement n soon after i said that, it went to: well you dont comunicate, ur not supportive, ur not understanding, u never listen, you,you,you,. i end up getting pretty heated n we just start going on and on and on i think im doing a good job at it. i told him to do what he had to do, i listen he just doesnt want to try to understand my point of view and i do everything i can for him. im so in love with him n he says he loves me too but it almost seems like he has all this anger towards me n i dont understand why. he agrees to talking it out but it usually turns into an arguement n i get it theres alot going on but i just want to know he still loves me and hes almost emotionless its driving me nuts cuz i dnt know what to think anymore. one minute we are fine n he says he loves me he considers me his wife n so on n the next i stress him out, im not understanding, back to the same sh**. im trying my hardest i realize ive been insecure but im working on it n i havent been as emotional and ive improved a lot on that, i mean i have stuff going on too but i still give him attention. When i see him he seems to love having me around hes more talkative hes more affectionate but i havent been able to see him that much in the past like month already. Whenever i tend to have feelings he just says here we go again...wtf is that? its almost as if im not allowed to open up about MY feelings n i wish i knew how to get him to see my point of view. i know he loves me but idk whats going on idk if hes just extremely stressed or if hes losing those feelings he has for me... id love to hear any advice or comments for the record: he is a sweetheart but that boy has a temper one min we r so happy and the next hes distant, its driving me insane n im starting to feel angry, and sad. I just love him so much i dont want to push him away we have so much fun and we are so alike in a way its crazy i truly feel he's my one. am i being paranoid?? what can i do?? the weird thing is we can talk about anything exept stuff like that. **sry i didnt think of the puncuations much lol, i went through it n added periods right away. hope its easier to read i didnt do much capitalization or anything but it shld be a little better
Author Krazysweet Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 believe it or not that makes sense and i shouldn't have to feel this way when im putting my all i think the only issue is that its gonna be a B**** getting over the whole thing, but im gonna use my anger to my advantage and to make me stronger for the future it can only get better right? ...this may sound dumb but thats the same thing i used to tell him about punching and hitting me. I guess part of me was hoping he wasnt sick of the relationship but it happens, the only thing that makes me feel horrible is that i gave it my all. i did everything i could to keep him happy but it never mattered and i think it is better off this way because i was starting to just shut down and a relationship is supposed to make you happy and that other person should be there for you too its not one sided time to find someone worth my time and when it comes ima keep this as a reminder that i shouldnt feel like everything is my fault... *we broke up a few days ago, as far as i see it, it was inevitable.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I'm a speed-reader, so I depend on capitalization, punctuation, and paragraphs to get through text quickly. I read as much as I could, and I think I get the gist. I hope this guy has not crumbled your self-esteem. Being with somebody abusive can certainly do that. Especially since you were so permissive of his behavior - letting him tell you what's wrong with YOU, but not recognizing what needs to be done to change himself. I'm sorry if you are hurt by the break-up, but I have to say I'm glad you got out when you did - before he could do even more damage. I assume with the PTSD that he's former military? I'm a former Army wife and have a lot of Army wife friends. I've seen A LOT of cases of PTSD and they're never easy to deal with. But the biggest piece of the puzzle out of any of it is that they guy has to recognize he has a problem and then he needs to SEEK HELP. If a PTSD sufferer - with mood swings like you describe - is not actively seeking professional help, I don't see much promise for a healthy relationship.
Author Krazysweet Posted December 14, 2009 Author Posted December 14, 2009 My self-esteem is something I'm took upon myself to better, I've always had self-esteem issues but when we would argue it just messed with me. right now I see that if i want that strong relationship everyone hopes for, I have to be ok with myself. He wasn't a complete monster but just the way I was feeling and the way he started acting gave me a reason to start doubting the relationship. Like i said before part of me was hoping it wasn't like that but in the end i wasn't so sure it was going to work. It seems to help talking about it. I'm new to this website and Its been helping me out a lot! I really appreciate all the advice.
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