HOw long until a guy knows he wants to marry the girl?

[Kristie16]

How long is it until a guy fully knows he wants to marry his girlfriend?

 

Is there a point in a relationship (three years? five years? 10 years?) when if he hasn't proposed it's not going to happen?

[datura_noir]

It seems like your post has been unanswered, so I will chime in here from experience.

 

My now H and I had lived together for almost 9 years with vague talk of marriage (one day). I even got a ring about 2 years prior. Both of us had been D, his experience was not so great. We are both in our mid/late forties.During the Summer of our 9th year together, I discovered a HUGELY innappropriate "friendship" with a woman whom he knew before me, and had been to our house. Fireworks flew. We had been drifting for a while, but because of my innate detective abilities, I was able to find out the real reason he needed space. When confronted, he got angry....blah blah blah....So, two months after we reunited, I asked him if he wanted to get married. He thought a few seconds before answering "yes, I do". You see, he is sort of a passive man, and he didn't think I wanted a commitment, IDK why, but he said that he felt I didn't care about him. So he always basically had one foot out the door. We are married now, because I did lay it all on the line: I told him I truly loved him, but if he wanted a roommate after 9 years, then he would have to look elsewhere. You see, he had been waiting for ME to give a sign, and, due to the whole fairytale existence that women are fed, I was waiting for HIM to propose.

 

I know I'm rambling, but my point is this-can you ask him to marry you point blank-let go of the cinderella-fairytale-guy-on-bended-knee fantasy, and just ask? And if you don't get the answer you seek, can you move on?

[jerbear]

For me, I know if I like the person, it would be between 1 and 3 years of dating. After 3 years and 5 years, you either know or you don't.

[JamesM]

Personally?

 

I knew after the first date.

[threebyfate]

I think most guys know pretty quickly, if they want to marry a woman. Some wait for awhile, others propose pretty quickly.

 

Of the six proposals I've experienced, they all happened pretty quickly, five in the first year, one around three years which was my first love. We were way, way too young to get married or even consider it.

[Boundary Problem]

one around three years which was my first love. We were way, way too young to get married or even consider it.

 

 

 

Same here. I know we loved each other at the time, and wanted the same things, and had the same values - but we would have destroyed each other. Unintentionally.

 

There is something to be said for mature love. Easier to roll with the punches and have fun, rather than life being so black/white/serious all the time.

[OneTwo]

Personally?

 

I knew after the first date.

 

Me too. That's how it was for me and my wife. After the first date, I knew she was the one that I wanted.

[Sam Spade]

For me it's at least 1 year before I even begin to (seriously) consider marriage. Then (ideally, if things go that way) a proposal 1-2 years later. No rush.

[acac2323]

I knew what I wanted...I just wanted to make sure she felt the same and that we had common goals for us IF we were to get married someday. After I found that out I proposed...Took about 3 months for that to happen...Married 16 years...