So_Sick78 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 My fiance ended it with me 6 months ago. After 4 months of messing with my emotions, I changed my number and we had no contact for 2 months. Then last week he emailed and left his number and asked to see me. I called and ended up going to see him. I went for closure and to find out why he ended it, we had sex all weekend instead. It was the first time we saw each other in 6 months. The reason he broke up with me was because I wasn't worth waiting 2 months for and he needed to get laid and instead of cheating on me again, he ended it. At least I got my answer He called Friday about my cancer results and I told him yes I dignosed but I'm gonna be fine. I wished him the best and he got angry & hostile kept saying that "I should be there with him now, I should have left with him." That he shouldn't be ringing in the new year with someone new, it should be with me!" He said that I didn't mean it when I wished him well because I still love him. I do love him very much but I want him to be happy, so I let him go. He's led me on, called me everyname in the book. I've tired to be cordial & civil & keep my emotions in check. Yet he's so hostile? He doesn't want me but he doesn't want me to happy either. I haven't spoken to him since then and I've been a mess. Why is he so mad? This was his choice not mine. I told him I was moving to be with him. I didn't want to live in there but I was willing because it was important to him. Why do I allow him to keep hurting me?
puppydog Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 OMG! you just got a diagnosis for cancer and he's complaining that you're not there with him?? He doesn't want you but he doesn't want you to be happy? If that's not selfish, I don't know what is. This is when you need someone practically glued to your side to help you through this tough time. I'm really sorry to hear that your ex-fiancee is putting you through this. You need to gather all your strength to get you through this difficult time in your life instead of letting him sap it away. As difficult as it may be, you really need to do NC so that you can focus on yourself. I don't know if you'll be undergoing any treatments, but you definitely do NOT need/deserve all the negativity he's sending your way.
Author So_Sick78 Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 I know, that's what everyone keeps telling me. No I haven't started treatment yet, but doctors are optimistic that I'm going to be fine. I just hate that he's so angry. After everything that he's put me through, I'd like to be angry, feel some kind of rage, but all I do is cry. He has hurt me in ways that most people would find unforgivable. I'm not perfect when we were together I made mistakes and took him for granted but I never once stopped loving him. Even now. Lord help me but I love him and I miss him everyday. I believed him when he wanted to be friends. So I confided in him and he's so hostile and angry and not once has he ever said he's sorry or that he wishes me well. I did this to myself really, I believed him. I always believe him.
LovelyDaze Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 He sounds like the type that feels everything is all about them. I am so sorry about your diagnosis. I know you will get better soon! What you don't need is a person who takes it upon himself to leave, then come back into your life, then proceed to set the stage to mess it up again. I don't get it. Leave him. Do NC. Rally your friends and family by your side. And also from me.....(( HUGS))
Author So_Sick78 Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 I refused to let him know that I'm a mess, but I did let him know life is good (i embellished a little) and that I've been busy. My parents aren't happy that I went to see him, and think I should have be concrentrating on getting better, and they're right. I let him use me. He got what he wanted out of me and I got stuck holding the bag again. This time around I did it to myself. He only asked to see me to see if I would do it, and like a fool I did. I wanted to know why he walked away. The answer hurt but at least I got it. Although he no longer blames me entirely he still gets angry and maintains that I should have left with him. I don't understand why he keeps bringing that up? Am I missing something? This was his choice not mine. I'd be there already, I had a job transfer 60 days. I asked him before he left and he said it was ok. I didn't want to move there, but I was willing to do it because it was what he wanted. He made a major decision without me, and I wanted to take that opportunity as well make a life with him.
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