Scarlett513 Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 I've been dating this guy for about a month now. Initially I was seeing him, along with others, but have recently decided to just date him (because I like him a lot and also bc of time and energy - multi-dating is exhausting!). We have not had an exclusivity talk and I have not told him either way about whether I am or am not dating others. I don't know whether or not I'm the only one he is dating. We had sex for the first time last week and I have met his mother and some of his friends. He has mentioned future plans, and seems to be pretty much available for me at all times. He wants to see me all the time, makes plans, and then will call for spontaneous dates in between. He has told me that although he has no expectations, he hopes that this could be for the "long haul." He has jokingly asked me things like, "Hot date tonight?" or, when I was using the phone, "chatting with your boyfriend?" Not sure if those were just jokes or if he was looking for information. Anyway, that is where our "relationship" or whatever it is, is at right now. My issue is that Christmas is coming and I'm not sure if I should get him a gift. I don't want to add any pressure, seem clingy, or assume a type of relationship that we don't have. But I also don't want to blow it off in case he doesn't. Should I get him anything at all? If I do, any suggestions? It's been awhile since I've been in a situation like this. Thanks!
New Again Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 On a side note...I had pretty much the same situation with a guy, so I got him a Christmas present, but nothing major; he went way overboard (he also makes way more than I do, so maybe it's not as big a deal as I felt it was, I don't know), and it was embarrassing. First, I think he's saying those things teasingly, but that things said in jest are rooted in truth: he's casually asking for information. Second, yes, I think you should get him something. Third, I think you should either drop hints that you're getting him something small (or whatever), OR just go ahead and get him something, OR suck it up and have a little chat with him about it. As for what to get...in situations like that I'm a big fan of paying for an activity, like getting tickets to something for you to do together, taking him out for a nice dinner, etc. But there was another thread not too long ago that was basically the exact same thing as your situation/question, except it was a guy posting, and everyone seemed to think he should get a gift (like a camera, or something that's a memento from your first date or something).
samspade Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Keep it simple and inexpensive. I think big, expensive gifts are for marriage, or extreme LTRs. Small but charming gifts, given once in a great while, hold just as much thought and weight for either party - or they should, anyway. I made the mistake, in my chump days, of buying a coat for a girl I was only semi-serious with. It wasn't exorbitant but I think it embarrassed her a little, and I felt pretty stupid about it afterward. Didn't break the bank, but our relationship didn't work out, and in retrospect it seemed to me like I was trying to buy her affections by impressing her with the gift, when something simpler and cheaper would have done the job anyway.
Lakeside_runner Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Get him something small, inexpensive but THOUGHTFULL! These are the best gifts...
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