WhereToGoFromHere Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 I'm sitting here minding my own business and my phone rings. The caller ID is the same as the one that shows up when my AP calls. Its been 18 days since I've heard anything from her so as you can imagine, my heart went through my chest and its still racing as I type. I couldn't answer it, but the caller left a voice mail. I couldn't check it fast enough. My fingers were shaking as I checked, with thoughts of all kinds running through my head as I waited to hear the message. IT WASN'T HER!!!! Now I'm left alone in my own thoughts, a wreck. All I can think about is emailing her right now. I'm trying to regain my composure but I'm feeling that this was a huge set back. Today was one of my harder days before all of this, now its just turned to s**t. Sorry for the whine....maybe some cheese is in order.
2sunny Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 so who was it that left the message - and what was said?
Author WhereToGoFromHere Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 (edited) Someone I work with. Totally unrelated. Just business stuff. I guess I should've mentioned that in my first post, sorry. Imagine my disappointment! The CID says 'BLOCKED'. So there are chances of getting those and they're not her. But they don't happen that often. I was just hoping. Edited December 8, 2009 by WhereToGoFromHere
Agent_99 Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Take a deep breath, OR several. Go for a walk to burn of the anxiety. distract yourself. 18 days is awesome!!
coconutcupcake Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 I've just ended with my AP. I have been the OW for over 8 years. I think of him constantly. Once I managed 5 months of NC. I wish I had never gone back... I'm responded to your post, because I really haven't thought about how the man feels. I somehow don't imagine the man being emotional or sad. :o
Author WhereToGoFromHere Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 I've just ended with my AP. I have been the OW for over 8 years. I think of him constantly. Once I managed 5 months of NC. I wish I had never gone back... I'm responded to your post, because I really haven't thought about how the man feels. I somehow don't imagine the man being emotional or sad. :o I wonder sometimes if I'm kind of extra pathetic. I joke about being a high school girl. I am very much of both emotional and sad. This is the hardest thing I've ever faced in my life and just like you, I think of her constantly. I hope it gets easier soon. They say time heals all. I guess we'll see. I can't imagine 5 months.
Luckyluss Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 I'm on day 18 too, and it sounds like today is a bad day for you and for me too. Take heart, tomorrow will be better!
Author WhereToGoFromHere Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 I'm on day 18 too, and it sounds like today is a bad day for you and for me too. Take heart, tomorrow will be better! YES! You too, okay? I did see someone's signature line on here that said "Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened". I do smile because of that.
Fallen Angel Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 I wonder sometimes if I'm kind of extra pathetic. I joke about being a high school girl. I am very much of both emotional and sad. This is the hardest thing I've ever faced in my life and just like you, I think of her constantly. I hope it gets easier soon. They say time heals all. I guess we'll see. I can't imagine 5 months. Don't be that way with yourself. Truly loving someone should make you feel emotional, if it doesn't you aren't doing it right. ((hugs)) you can do this!!
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