XKatieX Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 I'm a little over a month in my healing stage and I still find myself regretting my mistakes and feeling bad about myself. Whenever this happens instead of thinking negatively I think positively, I tell myself I know I'm a good person and that I'm beautiful, and almost immediately I start to feel better. I also think about the strengths I had in the relationship, and not the weaknesses. So for those of you who keep telling yourself you weren't good enough or beating yourself up for your mistakes, start thinking positively. Write down a list of all the good things about yourself if you need to. The positive thinking will not only get you so far in healing, but life in general.
j_cali_man Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Writing helps me a lot too. Even if most of it is on these forums and others like this one. J
xerofate Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 I've tried. Every time I do I end up typing away about how much better he is then me. It's like "I am a smart individual, who has an important and fullfilling job.... but he is smarter, which is why she is with him." Someone just shoot me.
puppydog Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 (edited) Someone just shoot me. I won't shoot you. I'll just beat you over the head with some sense. Haha I agree. They say the people that get over breakups the fastest are those who realize their sense of self-worth/value and self-respect. I guess it's different for me because being with my ex squashed all of the above. Immediately after the breakup, I was able to kick him off the pedestal and realize "hey, he wasn't that great. He was good, but not the best I can do" We are beautiful people inside and out. Keep saying it to yourself until it starts to sink in. We will meet someone better suited for ourselves. If they found someone else, it means that you weren't meant to be with them. It can ONLY get better from here. Edited December 9, 2009 by puppydog
Author XKatieX Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 (edited) I've tried. Every time I do I end up typing away about how much better he is then me. It's like "I am a smart individual, who has an important and fullfilling job.... but he is smarter, which is why she is with him." Someone just shoot me. The thing is though she is the one that cheated on YOU, and he was the one that was okay with it. So that makes you better than her and him combined. If she wasn't happy and felt the need to cheat she should have told you that straight up. Cheating isn't the way to go and if they do it once theres nothing stopping them from doing it again. and I can bet you anything the reason why she left you for him is not because she thinks he is smarter. She will regret it and see just how good she had it with you, when he ends up cheating on her and treating her like dirt..eventually he will believe me. But ya know what if she ends up running back, you have to be strong and say no I deserve better than this, I deserve someone who will be faithful to me just as much as I am to them. Edited December 9, 2009 by XKatieX
trueblue72ny Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 i definately think trying to stay positive in the long term helps. if you think badly about yourself than you will believe it. if you think good about yourself you will believe it. doing things for yourself that makes you feel good will help also.
CaliGuy Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Been preaching this for years and years here on LS. If you don't have confidence in yourself you can't expect anyone else to have confidence in you.
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