texastapper Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 I need some help, I am so lost and confused. I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and about 7 months ago all that came to an end. She broke up with me because I was not completely honest with her over something so stupid. She now claims she can not trust me. She has been out dating new people and really living it up, but I can not shake her. She is my everything, the thought of it being my fault that we broke up is just so unbearable. I would not change the fact that we broke up, because I had gotten to a point in our relationship where I took for granite what i really had, and this time has helped me learn who I really am and the person that i want to be to her. I am a very giving person and have always gone out of my way to be there for someone else. Here is the problem now, we have been seperated for 7 months but she has never gone away and neither have I. Every time she calls I am there, and she is constantly on my mind. I think about her all day long every day. She means everything to me. She claims she just wants to be my friend and wants me to move on. I cant ahndle just being her friend, she is my everything and its just too hard to just be her friend. She claims no matter what she wants me to be a big part of her life. Am I doing the right thing ny always being there for her? Its just so hard to ignore her and every time I try to discuss us getting back together she is so determined that she cant trust me. how can I prove to her that she can trust me. I know she still loves me, and that she would still be with me if I had not lied to her. I just know I would never ever lie to her again not matter what the situation. Please someone tell me what I should do. I dont know whether to just go away or to keep doing what im doing and continue to be there. It just hurts being apart from her. I've tried dating others but its just not the same. Another thing that hurts is that I was buying her a engagement ring so I could propose to her. Then all this, this is the girl of my dreams and I want more than ever to get down on one knee and propose to her. I just wish I could change things. What should I do, please help someone. Justin
SoleMate Posted December 18, 2003 Posted December 18, 2003 First, my sympathies. You're one hurting dude. Its just so hard to ignore her and every time I try to discuss us getting back together she is so determined that she cant trust me. how can I prove to her that she can trust me. I know she still loves me, and that she would still be with me if I had not lied to her. I just know I would never ever lie to her again not matter what the situation. What exactly did you lie about? You say it was something "so stupid", but it seems like it was a big deal to her - something that really hit at the core of her feelings for you. As to how you can "prove" to her that you will never lie...that's the sad thing, you really can't. We liars really need to face up to that reality. All you can do is continue to be truthful, and get her views about trust and other important issues periodically. Over time, if you prove yourself trustworthy with ACTIONS, not words, her distrust will weaken. One recommendation: don't be the shoulder she cries on, especially over other boys/men. That is the kiss of death for any romantic relationship. Judith Martin (Miss Manners) has some GREAT advice on how to handle this - check out some of her books. Good luck!
dyermaker Posted December 18, 2003 Posted December 18, 2003 Am I doing the right thing ny always being there for her? She'd like that, but don't let her have it, for your sake. You're romantically interested in her, she's not in you. Make that clear to her, that you don't just want to be her friend. It's not that you don't want to be her friend because you're mean, it's because it's emotionally taxing on you. You're being unfair to yourself, because she's not going to give you what you want.
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