JamesAddiction Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 I'm going to sound like the same old story, But here it goes anyway: I'm not a complete lost cause...I "can" be cool...There are a number of people I know that think i'm the greatest BUT.. I Have Tons of FEAR in my life. I'm 30 years old and I still jump if someone knocks at the door. I'm just the shyest guy imagineable. How can I rid myself of it???? I'm so shy that, I've been in a relationship with a wonderful girl for almost 5 years now, And i still get nervous around her at times. It's anxiety that i'll say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing...Whenever i get nervous around her I get silly and say stupid things or quote movies and end up looking like a nerd. I feel like, I never know what to say around people. I feel like I don't know how to be myself around people and even when i'm alone, I don't like the person that i am. I'm too damn shy, I don't know how to speak up, I hate that i'm so damn passive. I feel like I know the person that i want to be, But I don't know how to start on my way to getting to that state of mind...And i feel like such a dumbass since I'm 30 Friggin years old and I act like a 12 year old. I Hate it. It really sucks. I hate myself for being this way sometimes. I just don't know how to relax and go with the flow. Be it my personality, my looks anything. It causes me so much stress in my life. I want to change, I have the drive to, I just don't know where to start and any dumb book i read on Shyness or self-esteem reads like a dumb school workbook. Can't I just get some easy answers? ANY SUGGESTIONS??
moimeme Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 The easy answer might be that you're suffering from an anxiety disorder. Best bet - get yourself tested by a psychologist. There are treatments for social disorders and you might benefit from one.
Arabess Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 shyness.censorshipfree.com/ shyunited.proboards15.com/index.cgi?board=general open-mind.org/SP/Articles/7c.htm (you may have to copy and paste these into your browser) Here are a couple of websites which may be interesting for you to read. There are many online links which promote books and courses you can get for money. The above sites seem to be free. (Trying to find one for you which isn't commercial in nature.) Good Luck James.....and let me know if they help. Arabess
Arabess Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 Yeah....I really agree with Moimeme. Read some things for yourself and make an appointment to talk with someone. Anything which keeps you from being the best you that you can be....is worth addressing!!!
glasshammer Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 I have the same problem. I can psych myself up because I know who i want to be, knew how i want to act, But can't get myself to do it, Or I see myself being brave in a certain situation, i go for it then, Chicken Out. mY BIG DEAL is not being able to answer the phone. I always let the answering machine get it so i can screen my calls. If it's a new friend, i get shy and can't answer...Or if i'm calling a friend, Like say a friend who happens to be a girl, I pray to get their voicemail, because i feel like I won't know what to say, even if i don't even have a crush on the girl. I think my big thing is that, I don't want to be judged, But hey, everybody judges, there's no way around it. I want to be perceived as a certain way but don't know how to. Oh well, I just try to make the best of it. Try not to worry about other people, just yourself. If there's something you don't like about yourself, change it and don't fear the change.
toots307 Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 I'm very shy myself and I have worked very hard to get past it. One day I just got fed up with all I was missing out on - I actually missed out on a job because I was too shy to call the person back to accept the job. It was awful - everyone around me was having fun and doing things they enjoyed and I would just sit around and be afraid of anything. So, I just slowly started doing things that scared me to death - like ordering pizza - how dorky is that?? Anyway, by FORCING myself to do the things that scared me I started to see that it really wasn't that bad or that hard and I've slowly come out of my shyness. I still have a hard time in lots of situations but I like myself alot more when I push past my fears. Don't know if you like to sing but karaoke has been a HUGE help to me. I love singing but never did it in front of people. Now I go once a week to karaoke and sing in front of a whole bar full of people - it's great!!
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