DenverBachelor Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 My ex's father just called me and sounded very strange. He said that someone saw me try and break into my ex-girlfriend's apartment which is NOT TRUE. I have never even been up to her floor. This is libel, so I am calling an attorney tomorrow and contacting the Denver police department tonight. Just want to let you all know the update ... This is just craziness. Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Well the best way to make sure everyone hears it over and over - is to sue for libel. Just get to the bottom of it and make it quietly go away. Don't sue. Suing for libel is always a disaster. Do you think it was the friend who you were hanging out with on the weekend? Who made the report? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Well the best way to make sure everyone hears it over and over - is to sue for libel. Just get to the bottom of it and make it quietly go away. Don't sue. Suing for libel is always a disaster. Do you think it was the friend who you were hanging out with on the weekend? Who made the report? It was either her or her new boyfriend. I am going to sue for libel because this is absolute bull****. I need to contact the police tonight to archive the videos in the apartment and for them to take a formal deposition from her. I'll keep you informed ... Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 It was either her or her new boyfriend. I am going to sue for libel because this is absolute bull****. I need to contact the police tonight to archive the videos in the apartment and for them to take a formal deposition from her. I'll keep you informed ... Get all the evidence and get to the bottom of it. But suing turns it into a farce. You need to move onto something much more healthy than dealing with that. Trying to prove yourself innocent. Kinda tough. I wonder what their motivation was. Can someone neutral go find out? Did they file a report based on a rumour? If you sue, I'll betcha it ends up in the local newspaper. Do you really need that? Link to post Share on other sites
McGrupp Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 i would contact a lawyer. get the video. and then MOVE OUT Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Let's say he doesn't sue. The lawyer can do a "cease and desist" letter re stop filing false/unfounded complaints. But we only have one complaint. So it is complete over-kill for the situation. We don't need to add more dynamite to this situation. I've seen libel trials unfold and it is not good use of judicial resources and the libel complained of is repeated over and over. Guaranteed everyone within the entire county/province will hear about it. Need to approach it logically. 1. Who made the report 2. Why did they make the report 3. What did they report 4. Evidence 5. perhaps a cease and desist letter - but only if clearly manufactured the false report. Maybe someone saw someone who looked like you and it genuinely was a mistaken report. I know you are upset right now. But you have to calm down. No reaction, or minimal reaction while you gather the evidence. This is just a hiccup in you moving forward with your life. An annoyance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 I don't give two ****s who said what -- her father would not tell me who made the accusations so I am going to contact a lawyer and see if I can get a formal deposition from him and find out who is trying to slander my name. I cannot believe the phone call I received tonight. I have honestly been working hard over the past week and moving on with my life and then *BAM* -- I was trying to break into her apartment? The maximum amount in a small claims court in Denver is $7,500. I just want to drag her ass into court and show I am very serious about this. I may also seek a restraining order against her. I will explore every avenue because this is just not fair. It may sound petty to you, but now her entire family believes I tried to break into her apartment with an old key after I turned them in and haven't even been up to her floor at all. So I need to call some attorneys tomorrow and take time out of my day to figure out the best course of action. I don't even care about the money -- I just want to let her know clearly that she cannot get away with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 You are reacting emotionally. I've seen this almost exact scenario play out many many times. You are angry. This will go from bad to worse. If they see you angry they will assume you did it. If you react calmly and logically like I suggested, then there is a chance you will salvage your reputation with that family. Overreacting will cause them to get a mutual restraining order etc etc. As I said, bad to worse. This is probably an excuse to be in contact with her/her family. You have to resist the "pull" or "lure" of investing heavily in this situation. It is a hiccup. Get to the bottom of it - calmly, and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 This is probably an excuse to be in contact with her/her family. You have to resist the "pull" or "lure" of investing heavily in this situation. It is a hiccup. Get to the bottom of it - calmly, and move on. How would you get to the bottom of it? I mean -- why in the HELL would she tell her family I was trying to get into her apartment? That's so outside the realm of normalcy that I can't even comprehend it. If she did it, and I don't know if she did yet, she just went full psycho. If her boyfriend did it, that's even crazier. You have no idea how out of the blue that phone call was to me. For her father to sit on the phone and say that someone saw me try to gain access to her apartment is so far beyond the realm of reality that -- wow. I've NEVER been in this situation before. Her father said he believed me and I even started sniffling on the phone and told him emphatically that I would never harm her or try to do something like that. I do not understnad at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Would a temporary restraining order be appropriate here? Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 How would you get to the bottom of it? I mean -- why in the HELL would she tell her family I was trying to get into her apartment? That's so outside the realm of normalcy that I can't even comprehend it. If she did it, and I don't know if she did yet, she just went full psycho. If her boyfriend did it, that's even crazier. You have no idea how out of the blue that phone call was to me. For her father to sit on the phone and say that someone saw me try to gain access to her apartment is so far beyond the realm of reality that -- wow. I've NEVER been in this situation before. Her father said he believed me and I even started sniffling on the phone and told him emphatically that I would never harm her or try to do something like that. I do not understnad at all. It does sound far fetched. If there is a time-frame then look at the video tapes. That is why I suggested someone neutral (professional) get the facts and basically find out answers to the questions I posed above. But you don't need to be present when those questions are asked. You just need a report in the next couple weeks that explains what this is about, you'll take 10 mins and make a decision on how to handle it, and then don't let it take up any more of your time. It is a nuisance. Treat it as such. Calmly and you will gain respect by all. Absolutely make no contact with her, her family, her friends or anyone close to her. Have a neutral person you trust make some discrete but pointed inquiries. We want the ex-gf to calm down/feel safe and we want answers for you. I think both can be accomplished. Treat it at arms length. Someone is stirring sh-t and you don't need to be a part of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Would a temporary restraining order be appropriate here? Restrain who doing what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Restrain who doing what? Restrain her from making false accusations about me? I'm just asking an open question here -- I've never bore the front of pure psycho action before. Ps: I appreciate your help in this. I was just blind-sided by this. You suggest no more contact with her family at this point? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Ps: If you are on a joint lease, can you sue another person after the fact for back rent if you paid all the bills? I'm just curious about this, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Restrain her from making false accusations about me? I'm just asking an open question here -- I've never bore the front of pure psycho action before. Ps: I appreciate your help in this. I was just blind-sided by this. You suggest no more contact with her family at this point? Follow the plan I laid out for you and do nothing more. You need to play a role here. The calm unruffled ex-boyfriend. Not the call 30x, get restraining orders, scream it wasn't you - psycho ex-boyfriend. See the difference? One will earn respect, the other will make a bad situation considerably worse. Forget restraining orders. Forget contacting her family. Only have the neutral person (perhaps a lawyer, or a PI because people hate talking to lawyers voluntarily) get the facts. Because you deserve some answers. But basically treat the situation as just one hurdle of many in your day. I'm happy to help. I used to work at the courthouse and I've seen the long term effects of different ways to deal with this situation. The plan I laid out for you is optimum I believe. But suit yourself. I'm happy to help. I'm sure it will be ok. Sounds like the dad was reasonable. Somebody is making trouble though. And don't want to give them the satisfaction of reacting. Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Ps: If you are on a joint lease, can you sue another person after the fact for back rent if you paid all the bills? I'm just curious about this, too. Stop looking for excuses to drag her into court. Once the judge hears about this break/enter rumour, there is little chance of you getting judgment against her. As I said - walk away. You are very angry and vengeful tonight. Not good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 could you e-mail me at aphexcoil @ gmail.com so we could talk briefly at some point, Boundary? I would really appreciate your guidance here. If not, I understand. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 This is not libel. Libel is for written false statements...usually things that are in the press. And the false statement has to be communicated to people other than the subject. And the person must know the statement to be false. Restraining order is not applicable. In regard to joint leases, you can try, but it will more likely than not be unsuccessful. As you are both jointly and severally liable in joint leases (meaning landlord can collect from one or both), you could very well have to pay for the whole thing. Be wary of who you contract with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DenverBachelor Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Slander ... my apologies -- but that doesn't change what she did. Unbelievable! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Stop looking for excuses to drag her into court. Once the judge hears about this break/enter rumour, there is little chance of you getting judgment against her. As I said - walk away. You are very angry and vengeful tonight. Not good. Agreed. It's not worth the effort or money. Go to sleep. And in regard to the break/enter rumor, that probably will have little or no effect...for a number of reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Would a temporary restraining order be appropriate here? Yes.. but for her Her dad is just trying to scare you.. If you are as angry in real life toward her as you are on LS then my best guess is that they are trying to get you to move on.. Trying to get you to put it down before something bad happens.. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 could you e-mail me at @ gmail.com so we could talk briefly at some point, Boundary? I would really appreciate your guidance here. If not, I understand. dude.. you really need to be careful where you post personal identifying info about yourself.. Google brings up all kinds of things... Link to post Share on other sites
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