Mr2_2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Just looking for a little advise on what to do, here's the deal... Sorry if it's a bit lengthy... I've never been married.. no kids.. early 30's.. she's a bit older than me... late 30s.. also never been married and no kids. I developed a very close relationship with this girl I had liked for quite sometime. It was like a dream come true at first as everything developed so naturally. It was magical. We became very close and developed a very strong bond. D eveloped into a very loving relationship. Everything was right about her and everything about me seemed right with her. We connected on very deep levels both mentally and physically. However, problems started to develop as we started to argue more and more. Arguments often started by petty things but developed for whatever reason into serious conflicts. It boiled down to us just not being sure the other was into the relationship. But all throughout I was always confident that she would be the one and that things would eventually work out as we always had such open communication for eachother and always expressed our desire to be with one another. Perhaps it was my overconfidence in my gut feeling that things would eventually work out that led me for taking the relationship for granted and leads me to where I am now. Going on just about 4 months of no contact due to her decison that we should move on. The decison came after we had agreed to give eachother a couple of months of space to figure out what we wanted in the relationship. I also agreed to the idea of when we came out of the break, that there would be no questioning the others decision and no explanations on why the decision was made, just a simple e-mail, something I regret so much now. During this time away from her, my thoughts took me to a place that I had never been in my life.. to realzing I had found my soul mate.. and to wanting whole heartedly to marry this person..and spend the rest of my life with them. I was so happy and content with these thoughts and was happy in myself that I had finally gotten to this point. I couldn't wait to show her how committed I was to this decision... couldn't wait to show her the love I was holding back on. Obviously this all set me up for a massive let down after getting her e-mailed decision. At first, I made a few attempts initally to tell her that there was some things I needed to say (I know this was a mistake as this frustated her as she kept referencing the agreement we had not to question the decison). So I bit the no contact bullet and it has been the hardest thing of my life. I now sit here a few months later, trying my best to move on, but nontheless, still heart broken over a situation that I feel like I let slip away. A situation where I seem to have come in just a fraction too late with the feelings I now have and am now unable to share due to my own doing (agreeing to no questioning eachother's decision no matter what it was). Her birthday is coming up and I am not sure what to do as there are a few small gifts I had gotten her awhile ago (when we were on our "break") that I was planning on giving her no matter what, not realizing that no contact was going to be the result. Thought we would at the very least always be in some sort of contact due to how we related to eachother. I guess to sum up, I just don't know what to do going forward and was wondering if I could get some advise here. Should I bite the bullet and just leave the gifts at her doorstep or something with no expectations. Or should I try to write a letter explaining some of the things I have not been able to share along with the gifts? Or should I just try my best to ignore conveying anything to her... do not give the gifts and keep all feelings to myself, keep no contact, and keep going forward and over time the pain will die down? Thanks for taking the time to read all of this and thanks for any thoughts.
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