InspiredbyYou Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 (edited) . We’ve been together for about a little over a month. Sure, no problem! Sometimes you need to talk things through to decide if things are as they seem or if it's your own negative voices nagging. ;-) That's the million dollar answer!! If you have only been together just over a month and you have not had an exclusivity talk, is he really a player because he is still talking to other women? Have you made any arrangements that you would be exclusive? See, this part for me, changes everything. I meant your answer is the million dollar answer not what I wrote. hahahha Edited December 8, 2009 by InspiredbyYou
Author glamgurl Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 Yeah I guess the phone thing is a concern. Yeah I agree people are very phone obsessed for the most part, that issue is debatable. It's not as though he freaks out if I see his phone he said that he feels it's his personal property and doesn't like it invaded. Those could be his true feelings, or just covering, questionable. Although he got a new phone and he told me to play with and a text came in and I handed it to him when it did, he didn't say anything.
Author glamgurl Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 InspiredbyYou. Okay well he said that he doens't want anyone else, that his focus is on me. He was upfront with me at the beginning stating he was talking to two other girls but he wanted to stop that becuase of me.
InspiredbyYou Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Honestly Glam I'd be so much more concerned if this was the behavior of your steady boyfriend of 6 months, but you have only been together just over a month. Perhaps he is a total player, but have you caught him in lies otherwise? How often do you see him and does he stay true to plans or does he cancel on you or blow you off for other better secret plans. Those are the things you should be looking at, I would not want my man going through my phone after a month we are together, not because I am hiding things but because I just don't see what it's any of his business that soon in a relationship. Nor would I ever want to know what's in his phone? My guy locks his iPhone and we have been together under 6 months. I think phones are private, you either trust the person or you don't. :-)
Author glamgurl Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 As far as looking at his phone, the situation was this, we were talking and he was texting (rude!) and I was like "is there someone who you'd rather be talking to now?" He said "it's my mom" then said "no I'm joking do you want to see the last text?" I said no I'm not going to check your phone. He said good I don't like people using/looking at my phone, etc.
InspiredbyYou Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 I don't know...when they call your bluff like that it's 'cause they are hiding something....He sounds a little too slick. Maybe your coworker was right. Take your time to get to know him better. It's the only way to know for sure.
Author glamgurl Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 InspiredbyYou, maybe you’re right, it’s only been a month. I could be overreacting and be ridiculous I just needed some opinions and unbiased feedback. Well no I haven’t caught him in a lie yet. We don’t see each other too often maybe once or twice a week conflicting schedules-I work two jobs and going to school. No he hasn’t cancelled on me. So am I jumping to conclusions do you think?
2sunny Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 the bigger question now is - have you had sex with him yet?
Author glamgurl Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 So should I call his bluff next time, if there is a next time?
CLC2008 Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Does he have a history of short relationships (i.e. has he been in long term relationships). Does he have a history of cheating. Does he have a ton of female friends. Does he constantly call/text other females. Does he spend time with you, does he make an effort to spend time with you. Does he introduce you to his friends. Is he dishonest. Morals/values. Integrity. Substance.
InspiredbyYou Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Well....maybe... 2Sunny asked what I was thinking. If he is feeding you lines to get busy with you it's one thing, if he is feeding you lines because he has slept with you but isn't sure he wants a committed relationship it's another. If you haven't slept with him and are thinking of going exclusive then there is no time like the present for telling him "look we can keep seeing each other but I don't have sex until I am in a committed relationship" you either watch him run like the wind, or put on the charm even harder. Of course he can still dump you after sex but it's more to see how he reacts. Either way you see that he is after something, that would be player mentality. If he is cool about it and tells you "no rush I am happy enjoying our time," and he really shows he is chill about it then he's a keeper.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 A player is a guy who doesn't like past your physical and just uses you for sex, at the same time doing the same with other women
InspiredbyYou Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 So should I call his bluff next time, if there is a next time? SURE! call a man's bluff when he is calling yours. Men pull moves like that because they know we will just say "oh no no that's ok I don't need to....." whatever it is he is calling your bluff on. Make a joke of it, and say we'll if you really reeeeeally want to show me, oooook let's have a look then." hehehe see how he acts next. Jokes will get you very far, men use "jokes" to get out of hot water all the time, you can too.
Yukikazi Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 A player is a guy who doesn't like past your physical and just uses you for sex, at the same time doing the same with other women go read my response on the first page.. thank you
Author glamgurl Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 InspiredbyYou good suggestion of how to handle the situation, I may just go that route. I was actually thinking of doing something similar to that.
Author glamgurl Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 Yeah I'm going to call his bluff if I get the chance haha!
BookerT Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Does he have a history of short relationships (i.e. has he been in long term relationships). Does he have a history of cheating. Does he have a ton of female friends. Does he constantly call/text other females. Does he spend time with you, does he make an effort to spend time with you. Does he introduce you to his friends. Is he dishonest. Morals/values. Integrity. Substance. The problem with all these is it takes months to find this information out. Usually by the time the other person is emotionally attached.
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