otherman Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Has anyone had good luck with NC? Please post your story! I am thinking about it. Thanks, Other Man
ladydesigner Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 NC works if you are doing it correctly. If you are deciding to go NC because you are ready to move on then yes it does help. if you are using it to get the MW to leave her marriage...well maybe in 2% it would work. For the most part it should be used to help yourself. My story is that my XOM had ended the A (1.5 years ago) to stay with his SO. I was crushed to say the least, although I am the MW. Well he wanted to remain friends with me and I agreed. Many of his so-called "friendly" emails crossed the line and kept me in a state of trying to figure out just what it was that we were having, probably an emotional affair. Well I got tired of this and decided I could not be "friends" with him any longer and went NC. It was and is the best thing I ever did. Good luck to you, it is priceless!!!
Fallen Angel Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 There are TONS of posters who have done NC succesfully, and while it is hell for them sometimes, they work through it and seem to start healing during it. I haven't been able to do it yet. I have tried a few times, but when my phone rings from him, I end up answering, and we end up back in full blown A mode. The longest NC has lasted for me was I think about 2 days... I think you really have to be ready to just be done for it to work and you have to be doing it FOR YOU. If you are forced to go NC due to a D-day or your AP chooses NC instead of you, then it seems people have a harder time with it. Whatever your choice, good luck! I hope you find peace and happiness.
Meaplus3 Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Yes it works and I'm proof! My xmm lived right next door and still does. Yet I did manage to stick with NC.. and while it was harder than heck, I did it. You see it's the only way to break the emotional connection. By not having contact your no longer sharing details with one another.. the stuff that keeps you in the A. Contact only adds fuel to the fire. So,by all means do it!! Go NC and you will be over this R in no time. Mea:)
whattodonow12 Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 You have to really get your head around it and accept that NC is the best thing for you. I have been NC for a little over 2 months now (with just a few scattered emails, so it could really be considered limited contact). But, I have concentrated on doing what is right for me and what I consider morally right. It is starting to get easier Just take it a day at a time. But, this situation will explode on you if you go over to her house. Don't do that... for your sake.
Jaspe_Loco Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Didn't work for me. After a year of professional contact only (co-workers), we got back together.
Agent_99 Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Has anyone had good luck with NC? Please post your story! I am thinking about it. Thanks, Other Man Yes and No. NC helped me heal from a lot of emotional trauma. But it didn't last more than 2 months. THe longest I could make a NC stick that I initiated was 2 days. I don't know your story, but I see that you posted that you are considering intiating a confrontation. So I ask you this. . . Why are you considering a NC? What is it you REALLY want? How long has the A been going on? It seems that you might be in the painful phase where you feel like you HAVE to do something to end the pain, either NC or make her choose, am I right? I've been there, a lot of us here have. Hugs ~Agent
whichwayisup Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 OM, you DO need to go NC. Somehow you have to detach and focus on you only now. Your MW isn't changing her ways - She isn't leaving or divorcing her husband. You love her, but it's KILLING you inside because she is doing what she does best..Enjoying the company of you, and wanting to stay married. The control you have is NO CONTACT. Not to punish her, or make a point..But so you can begin to grieve and let go..Heal yourself.
Montclair0011 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 It sorta kinda works for me, that is it works better than contact would. It's been about 5 months since I have seen him (and that was after 3+ months of NC). I have a new boyfriend (whom I less than thrilled with, but we have grown closer), but I'm still missing the MM and think about him all the time. I think it's getting a little better though. Had I stayed it would have been a miserable and humiliating relationship. I really had no choice since he had decided to return to his family (he had been separated and pursuing divorce). I'm not sure what I would do if he contacted me. I will not contact him. Last time he contacted me I caved right away. I'm thinking that was the end though. I've given up hope, while still wishing for miracles. Maybe someday I won't care anymore, but who knows when.
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