What's wrong with me?

[dashing daisy]

I am scared that I will never love anyone the way I loved him, and nobody will ever love me the way he seemed to. He says it was real but I don't think I can believe anything he says. If it was real he would have wanted to try to make it work, not just cut and run. But if it was all a lie then...what am I supposed to believe? He said "circumstances" and his stupidity broke us up. When obviously he didn't want to be with me. If he actually thought he messed up, he wouldn't just say "I made a mistake by breaking up with you, I regret it and I wish I hadn't...but I can't fix it". That's just a cowards way of saying he doesn't think it's worth it. Right?

 

But still it lingers...why? I don't want to get over him, I want things to be the way they were when we were together. But I don't think he's the person I thought he was. Even though I know I could date other people, I can't imagine ever putting my heart out there again. I've never felt so crushed. I want this feeling to go away.

 

I hate life. Everything is so ****ed up. How could he say it was fate that we met, and I was the love of his life and then just decide to get over me?

[McGrupp]

i have nothing really to add but yeah im there with you.

 

i guess like they kinda popped into our lives when we least expected it so will another.

 

i hope

[LovelyDaze]

I

I don't want to get over him, I want things to be the way they were when we were together. But I don't think he's the person I thought he was.

 

You answered your own question. My best pals and my mom tells me I do that all of the time myself.

See, love is like a shiny, new mirror..everything seems clear, illuminated, stunning and reflective of what we want to see. When it breaks, it distorts everything. You can't put the pieces back together correctly at all and the reflection is horrible. You can still use it but it's horrifically difficult and in danger of breaking up all over again.

 

Buy a new mirror. The other slipped out of your hands and betrayed you.

[dashing daisy]

I don't want a new mirror, I just want to stop caring about my old broken one.

 

I'm a ****ing moron and it makes me hate myself. I can't believe I feel this way, I can't believe I act this way. I thought I was stronger than this.

[madrugada]

You are strong. You've made it through this and you're experiencing the same feelings so many of us on here are experiencing. You're longing for the past and for a future you can't have.

 

dashing daisy is dead on with her mirror analogy. You're mourning over something that's broken.

 

You're also kicking yourself while you're down. That's natural. I'm doing the same thing.

 

But the fact is, he's not the person you thought he was. If he were, he wouldn't have left.

 

That's what makes this so difficult. Know that you're not alone. That's the best advice I can give.

[Dark_of_the_Moon]

You sound like an echo of me not that long ago. There is nothing wrong with you and you are strong, you are only hurt right now.

 

I was like you, I wanted what I thought I had and the future I saw with him. No other man has made me feel the way he did and I don't really see another as making me feel like that. But, what is gone is gone. You hate it, I hate it.

 

All I can offer you is the knowledge that You are not alone, you will begin to feel differently, slowly. The hurt will lessen with time. I don't know why things linger for some of us. Just be good to yourself, allow yourself time to grieve and you will see the sun come out again. I never thought I would, but really it will happen. This will not last forever.

[adamt]

hey, i was where you were back in may. So many unanswered questions. I wont lie and say its going to be easy. It will be a few tough months but you will get through it and learn from the experience. the common thing is that a lot of people go through a bad break up and meet someone else.

 

DO not read too much into the reasons of the break up. Just look after yourself. gather your thoughts, cry if you feel like it. dont contact the ex, think of how you are going to take care of yourself. catch up with friends, talk it through with friends, do loads of exercise until you are tired, keep yourself as busy as possible. it wil be hard and you will have days where you dont want to get out of bed. force yourself to take tiny steps. you will have setbacks but stay on the path and you will get better. treat it as a life learnign experience that most people go through at some pint in their life. but like puberty or soemthing.

 

get through the winter and the first day of spring, go and have a long walk in the countryside

Edited December 8, 2009 by adamt

[USMCHokie]

I'm exactly where you are now...not sure if it'll ever go away...

[dashing daisy]

Thank you all. This has been a hard night and all your messages helped.

 

It comes and goes, one minute I think I'm fine, the next minute I'm crying. It's awful. It sucks that we are going through it, but at least we can go through it together.

[soheartbroken]

Nothing is wrong with you. You're normal; you're fine.

 

Welcome to the hell that the rest of us are enduring. It will get better, but it ain't easy. It will be a huge rollercoaster. Just endure it. Find a way to get through each minute, each hour, each day.

[dashing daisy]

Nothing is wrong with you. You're normal; you're fine.

 

Welcome to the hell that the rest of us are enduring. It will get better, but it ain't easy. It will be a huge rollercoaster. Just endure it. Find a way to get through each minute, each hour, each day.

 

Maybe I'm normal, but I certainly don't feel fine.

[Dark_of_the_Moon]

You will feel fine again though someday. I hated it when people told me that at the beginning...but it is true. Just remember you are not alone...that helped me more than I can say.