Author Lost-n-confused Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 I wouldn't say that you like to amp up on the second date. FYI - you still have that shirtless picture up.... Its not my primary but its staying up.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 what did you find hilarious about what the girl was doing with her life lol the second message you posted is the better one out of the 3 What she said she was doing with her like was "Having a ****ing blast" How about as a title I use. "Be mine"
dudet Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 DUDE I just came up with a title that would suit you SHIRTLESS VIRGIN ON THE PROWL LMAO....KIDDING DON'T USE IT
dreamergrl Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 What she said she was doing with her like was "Having a ****ing blast" How about as a title I use. "Be mine" So what was funny that she likes to have a blast in life? Also you pushed for a face to face meeting soon with that last girl.. it was what? Two messages? You didn't get anything out of the shirtless picture thread, did you? But hey.. we're just girls... what do we know.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 Hi I'm ..., I checked out your profile and you seem pretty down to earth. I too am looking for someone to get to know, find attractive, interesting, fun, exciting and most of all make them happy. It seems as though we might be compatible. I hope you like outdoor activities like jet skiing. I too like to travel. In fact I am planning a trip to Italy next month. Anyways, if you have any questions please ask. I look forward to finding out more about you That's what I said to the girl who winked at me after I put the topless pic up as my main.
Author Lost-n-confused Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 The title I think I want to use is "Looking for chemistry"
dreamergrl Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Why don't you just say "Look at my abs and drool, then tell me how hot I am". In addition to the several other pictures that clearly show you are defined.
New Again Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Hi I'm ..., I checked out your profile and you seem pretty down to earth. I too am looking for someone to get to know, find attractive, interesting, fun, exciting and most of all make them happy. It seems as though we might be compatible. I hope you like outdoor activities like jet skiing. I too like to travel. In fact I am planning a trip to Italy next month. Anyways, if you have any questions please ask. I look forward to finding out more about you That's what I said to the girl who winked at me after I put the topless pic up as my main. Notice how many times you said "I" in those 8 sentences? With the exception of commenting that she seems down to earth, you turned literally everything back onto yourself. This would be not quite as bad if what you wrote was more interesting than a rundown of things you like and reiterations of information that's already in your profile.
shadowplay Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 There are a ton of things that I would consider red flags in your profile. In the order in which I noticed them: 1) Bad grammar and spelling, run on sentences, awkward flow (most of your sentences start with "I"). 2) "If your worth it, ill make you know it." This makes you sound like an arsehole. 3) "Life is always lively around me." Sounds self absorbed and vain. 4) I feel like the focus on adventure is heavy-handed. You repeat it a billion times, which makes me think you're trying too hard to impress. I guess the problem is you don't sound relaxed or laid-back enough, and you come off as if you might be judgmental. Try to tone it down a bit. In all of your photos you look a bit vain and forced. Replace some of your activity photos with some regular photos of you in a more laid-back context. Also for the love of god please get rid of that heinous topless photo. It's a complete deal-breaker.
New Again Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 (edited) To some random girl... No response Hi I'm... I read your profile and found your comment under "what I'm doing with my life to be hilarious." That caught my attention somehow. Anyhow, check out my profile, and if you like what you see let me know. 1. Grammar is your friend. If you choose to date online, you really need to know how to write like an educated person; after all you're trying to impress someone, and there is no excuse for poor grammar/spelling, since every computer has some type of spell checker. 2. Read through what you write before sending it; making mistakes, such as leaving out words, makes it seem sloppy and as though you didn't put any effort into it. This is tied into #1. 3. WHY did her "what I'm doing with my life" catch your attention, and WHY is that hilarious? Again, it seems sloppy, and as though you gave her profile a super-fast once-over before dashing off a note without even thinking about it. 4. I bolded the parts you should've changed, but your syntax is terrible, so really you'd be better off re-writing the whole thing. This is important for clarity. No one wants to re-read your email 3 times trying to figure out what you're saying. Already commented on email #2. For this third one, did the girl ask you questions about yourself? To a girl that responded to me.. but never responded back.. This was my second message to her. I am ... I'm currently beginning to work on becoming a flight instructor. So you want to be involved with forensics? So you probably really like CSI or really hate it lol. To be honest I'm not much into writing a biography in an email. Id rather talk about all the exciting stuff face to face, chemistry doesn't happen in an email. I'm looking for someone who enjoys doing physical activities to going out on the town to cuddling up at home and have a nice dinner and a movie. I like to mix things up. 1. GRAMMAR. AND. PUNCTUATION!!!!!!! 2. Sentence structure (syntax). 3. Again, this entire email is all about you, and it shouldn't be. You didn't ask her one question about herself, except for that comment about CSI, which (no offense) is probably a super-lame comment that she gets from everyone. It's probably similar to being a twin and having every single person you've ever met ask you "Do you know what the other one is thinking?" I think you would have been better off commenting on a different aspect of forensics that might actually be insightful or flattering, and ask a follow up question to show interest. For example, say "Wow, you must notice things that other people overlook. Are you a really analytical person?" I'm sure you could do much better than that, but do you see what I'm saying? Finally, instead of saying "Hi, I'm So-and-So" I think you should just get right to the point, and then sign the email with your name. I'm not trying to be rude, but I am blunt: You come across as incredibly self-absorbed. Remember, seduction is ALL about the other person. Make her feel unique and special. Make her feel flattered that you noticed a particular something about her profile. Edited December 8, 2009 by New Again
dreamergrl Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 It is very off-putting when the person you are trying to talk to doesn't asking you any questions. I had a guy reply to me, but only answered my questions. He didn't bother asking me anything. To me that shows he has very low interest or is self absorbed. Or both.
madrugada Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 I don't know why I'm even replying to this, but this made me think of something one of my professors used to say when I was in college. She said, "When you graduate high school, you walk through a door that's imprinted with the words, 'Find Yourself.' "When you go to college, you walk through a door that's imprinted with the words, 'Know Yourself.' "When you graduate college and go out in the real world, you should be forced to walk through a door imprinted with the words, 'Get Over Yourself.'" Not attacking you in any way, but the reason people aren't responding is that you do come across as way self-absorbed. Dreamergrl is right. Learn to ask questions and be a good listener.
JustLooking123 Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Amen to everyone to commented on the poor grammar! I couldn't even focus on the content because I was so distracted by the lack of puntuation, poorly worded sentences, and word misuse. Please, get a friend (with a penchant for writing) to edit it.
dreamergrl Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 OKcupid has a "Confused words" test. It asks you to pick out the right word for the sentence.
BackUpOrGetStung Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 You sound way too anxious in your messages. You can't just come out and say "I think we are compatible.", after one message or, really until you've actually met a few times(I don't think I've ever used the word compatible in conversation with a girl I liked, it should be understood). It seems innocent enough, yes, but it implies a great deal. It shows that you've already gone too far with the "relationship" in your head, and it shows that you assume too much(also screams, possessive). Your first messages should be a few sentences and focus on what you like about them, and if/how it relates to you. You told one girl that something in her profile was funny, but you didn't say why, you just said "somehow"; that sounds really insincere...like you were grasping at straws trying to compliment her. I only saw one question mark in the 3 messages, and that was immediately followed by a comment that somewhat trivialized her goal(and girls like to blow stuff out of proportion, so somewhat could be majorly) I'll bet you probably only go for one type of girl on there too, the prom queen. I read profiles and send messages to girls that seem cool, regardless of their looks(not totally regardless, lol). I find that it helps a great deal, because that demeanor shows itself when I do message the prom queen, and stands out since they probably get 40 emails a day saying how good they look. Bottom line, you have to find the beauty or something special in them, then find a way to make them see it too, or at least find a way to let them know you see it(without directly saying it). It's really not hard, I can find true beauty and talent in almost every woman, usually pretty quickly, and panties drop like bricks because of it. I've also found that if you can make a woman laugh the first time you talk to her, you can probably make her do anything. P.S. I didn't want to say anything, but take down the godd*mn picture, they know what a good looking body looks like and if that's what they want, they don't need to go online to find it.
D-Lish Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 I personally find the whole profile a turn off. The bad shirtless photo is a huge deal breaker. At best you come off as a "wanne be" player. The spelling and grammar must be fixed.
dreamergrl Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 So... just because I'm curious.. How many votes for taking down the shirtless picture?
InspiredbyYou Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 My vote is for full frontal. Might as well stand out.
Yukikazi Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 My vote is for full frontal. Might as well stand out. I'll be the first to vote no... Hell no
dudet Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 1. Grammar is your friend. If you choose to date online, you really need to know how to write like an educated person; after all you're trying to impress someone, and there is no excuse for poor grammar/spelling, since every computer has some type of spell checker. 1. GRAMMAR. AND. PUNCTUATION!!!!!!! 2. Sentence structure (syntax). I'm not trying to be rude, but I am blunt DANG, you sound real nasty. don't worry, you are rude, whether you tried or not. i don't think his grammar and punctuation is so bad a girl would dismiss him over it. what are you miss perfect lol
Yukikazi Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 A persons worth is downgraded in my eyes due to spelling mistakes, bad grammar and Ebonics talking.
New Again Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 DANG, you sound real nasty. don't worry, you are rude, whether you tried or not. i don't think his grammar and punctuation is so bad a girl would dismiss him over it. what are you miss perfect lol Interesting you should say that, since most of the women who actually commented on either the OP's profile or his emails pointed out his poor grammar. You're, not your. And everything dreamer said. There are a ton of things that I would consider red flags in your profile. In the order in which I noticed them: 1) Bad grammar and spelling, run on sentences, awkward flow (most of your sentences start with "I"). . Amen to everyone to commented on the poor grammar! I couldn't even focus on the content because I was so distracted by the lack of puntuation, poorly worded sentences, and word misuse. Please, get a friend (with a penchant for writing) to edit it. OKcupid has a "Confused words" test. It asks you to pick out the right word for the sentence. I personally find the whole profile a turn off. The bad shirtless photo is a huge deal breaker. At best you come off as a "wanne be" player. The spelling and grammar must be fixed.
New Again Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 A persons worth is downgraded in my eyes due to spelling mistakes, bad grammar and Ebonics talking. And also Yukikazi.
D-Lish Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Interesting you should say that, since most of the women who actually commented on either the OP's profile or his emails pointed out his poor grammar. Hmm, yes you did get centered out there... lol. I agree with all your points 100%, and I think I was much ruder than you were.
dudet Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Interesting you should say that, since most of the women who actually commented on either the OP's profile or his emails pointed out his poor grammar. this thread gives people opportunities to drill the dude over his writing. if its not perfect from the get go, you start commenting cause maybe you can't find nothing else to run your mouth about, besides his topless issue. hahaha. realistically his grammar, is not bad enough to keep women from getting to know him. I've seen way worse than that. IF they have grammar issues, inform them in a tactful way at least lol Oh and New Again, yours was the only one that seemed awfully rude. That's why I pointed it out
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