Does breaking No communication hurt your chances of getting back together?

[thatguy90]

Just curious, apart of me wants my ex girl.

 

My ex girl broke up with me about a month and one week ago, we would talk every now and again, and stuff, she wanted to be friends with me, and well after 4 weeks of trying to be her friend i told her no I can't be her friend right now because i need time to heal and that it has not been helping me move on. She said she understands and we have stopped talking to each other.

 

She right now likes another guy ... well to my knowledge and she has a hard time lieing to me and she said to me that she will never lie to me, and that she will not have s** with another guy, she just wants to go out and experience life a bit.

 

Just to add on, I was not my self when she broke up with me, I couldn't really do anything i was just stressed to the max and I just did not know how to deal with everything. She said when I was myself I was the perfect guy, and that she would want to spend forever with me.

 

So I have not talked to her for about 10 days now, and well did i mess up any chance of getting her back by talking to her for that month?

[DustySaltus]

The point of NC is to allow yourself to heal. Sure, you will go through an extremely tough period but the idea of NC is to only go through that tough period ONCE. You can't rationalize anything she says right now because she is with another dude. You shouldn't have to take a backseat to anyone else.

 

A SECONDARY use of NC is to allow your EX to miss you and let them be alone with their thoughts. Let them go crazy in their mind thinking what you are doing. Keeping in contact with them softens the blow.

 

In time if she comes beating down your door you will have a major decision to make. Anything short of that is her nibbling around. Disappear.

[Ilovecake]

Actually NC will give you a better chance of possibly reuniting.

 

People tend to want what they can't have.

The longer you stay a mystery the more the other person will wonder about you.

People generally want a challenge so don't make yourself so readily available.

 

If there is any chance of her ever coming back NC is the only way to go. It might not happen tomorrow but give her a chance to miss you.

[XKatieX]

I think you are okay for now, but if you told her you need NC than stick with that decision and don't break it from here on out.

[thatguy90]

How am I ok? I still kinda have feelings for her, and she said to me "If we are meant to be we will be back together in the future ..." she also told me to hate her for everything that she has done to me, forgive her for what she has done, and to move on. I have been mad at her ever since she broke up with me for her breaking up with me at my lowest ... but I understand that she wants to have fun and to enjoy life, and that was about a month of me being sad. She was not helping but I need to be more of an individual and for her to need me, and to be a stronger person.

[XKatieX]

How am I ok? I still kinda have feelings for her, and she said to me "If we are meant to be we will be back together in the future ..." she also told me to hate her for everything that she has done to me, forgive her for what she has done, and to move on. I have been mad at her ever since she broke up with me for her breaking up with me at my lowest ... but I understand that she wants to have fun and to enjoy life, and that was about a month of me being sad. She was not helping but I need to be more of an individual and for her to need me, and to be a stronger person.

 

I meant by that I think you are okay on this part

 

well did i mess up any chance of getting her back by talking to her for that month?

 

I don't think you messed it up, i just think you should continue with the NC.

[thatguy90]

oh ok ... sorry i completely miss understood what you wrote, but thanks

I just thought i had messed up ...

[thatguy90]

Just another question ... I had bumped into her grand parents ... and well i talked to the grandfather quickly wished him a merry christmas and such ... but then her grandmother runs up behind me and give me a big hug and wishes me a merry christmas and i say the same to her. She has not told a single member of her family that we are not dating actually no one from who i have bumped into knows we are not dating anymore. Why has she not told them? I think she just forgot to tell them, or something like that.

[Beeotch]

My honest feelings are----"what is to be, will be".

 

Therefore in some ways I almost feel like, if you guys essentially aren't meant to be, then nothing you do or don't do will make a difference.

 

Whereas if you are....then the things you do will ultimately work out towards that cause, even if you don't know why.

 

That's just my philosophy. So with that said, I do what I feel called to do at the time.

[bluestraps]

Maybe if you stay her friend you may get back together again when she realizes how great you are !

[thatguy90]

Im going to wait till 2010 to be her friend, because I am still emotionally attached to her, and if its meant to be we will fall back in love with each other. I still need to forgive her for what she has done, and this time between now and 2010 i hope is enough. She wants me to be her friend, and still does, she is giving me space, and i am doing the same for her.