vitamin z Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 hey everyone, 18 year old guy, recently moved off from home to college and stayed with my girlfriend of 6 months (6 months from 4 months ago so 10 total) from high school. she's still in high school 1700 miles away. i put this in this forum and not the LDR because that's not what is worrying me. during the summer we spent most of our time together aside from working and traveling. she's the first girl i've really dated and cared about, kind of a cute story. she is a year younger and we initially had mutual friends and hated each other - i always thought she was cute but never thought we got along. sometime we ended up talking at a party and completely hit it off and we've never looked back. i'm crazy about this girl. the problem is that i think i'm too crazy about her. i am young and so is she and it literally bothers me how committed i feel to her. i hate thinking about the guys she's been with in the past, i hate thinking about not being with her, i hate imagining us growing apart at all. lately we've been talking about the summer, and i literally want to spend time back home doing nothing so i can be around when she is. that is the type of thing that scares me - i'd never be back home for the summer if it weren't for her. i'm not a delusional person. i have a lot of freedom ahead of me in every sense of the word - i'm 18, good looking (i hope), i have a scholarship in college and i want to see everything i can while it's still a possibility. but the relationship i'm in with this girl is making me think about things i never thought i would touch until i was 30. it's not like we talk about goddamn wedding plans or what side of the bed she wants, but she makes a big point of making sure we spent time together, and i mean a lot of time. when i'm home, she wants me with her as much as seriously possible. she got mad at me over thanksgiving break because i saw her "only" 3 hours wednesday night (my flight got in at 9 pm), noonish-11pm thursday, 3-11pm friday, and 5pm saturday-1am sunday. keep in mind that i was also trying to see my family whom i no longer live with or see any time but holidays really. i was once told that she was trying to fill the hole i made in her vagina with my time. i was her first - i had had sex only once before her and it was meaningless and retarded. the sexual aspect of our relationship is pretty unbelievable, we're really on the same page in that regard. i'm totally wrapped around this girl. she's smart, hilarious, and unbelievably attractive. she gets hit on by other guys a lot which definitely gets to me but i'm 100% confident in her fidelity. she has told me she doesn't even think about other guys and for some reason i believe her. if someone else told me about their girlfriend saying that i wouldn't believe them, but i am totally faithful to her and i'm sure she is the same way for me. i don't want to make it seem like she's psycho possessive and takes all my time from me because she's a really reasonable person when it comes down to it. we've argued about time spent together a lot and i'm pretty comfortable with our understanding of it. as far as the LDR thing goes, she is looking at school where i am, close to where i am, and far from where i am. we've talked about it plenty and we'll decide where to go in our relationship based on where she wants to go to school. it's important to her not to make a decision based on me, although the school where i am happens to be a good fit for her too. her parents will make sure she doesn't make a decision because of me one way or another. /rant bottom line: am i insane for feeling so committed to this girl?
apparat86 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 At my college, there was a phenomenon known as "the turkey drop"... where freshmen break up with their hometown boy/girlfriends because of any number of reasons. I'm glad you sound like you are committed to not having this happen. I'm less concerned with how intense your commitment is (this is a good thing, you should embrace loyalty, trust, and strong connections), and more concerned that this girl might not choose the best college for her based on your relationship. Please be careful your intense feelings do not dissuade her from following her dreams and going to the best possible choice for her future-- I had many smart and talented friends who went to local, less prestigious schools to be with boyfriends, most of whose relationships didn't work out. As to your question, I think your feelings are completely normal-- I think it is natural to feel extremely attached in high school. If you are committed to working on a LDR while in college, power to you. It will be difficult though, especially if she goes to another school-- the availability of casual sex, parties, and interesting, new people and activities can breed jealousy, mistrust, and distance. Good luck to you.
sedgwick Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 i was once told that she was trying to fill the hole i made in her vagina with my time. What? What does that even mean? The fact that you spent almost your entire holiday break with her and she got mad at you because it wasn't enough is disconcerting to me.
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