dazedandconfused2008 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Thought i would post here for once since im in the process of NC. Me and my ex have been in NC for about 2 months now. Its been something that i thought i could never do but ive been doing it...and i have to honestly say that being NC has been better for me than when we stayed in contact. This is the link to my story so i dont have to retell it all. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t204846/ I guess im writing today because its his birthday today...and for some reason its been really hard. I know he was expecting to hear some type of message from me that said i wished him a happy birthday. I have to admit...that half of me wanted to send a message with me wishing him a happy birthday...because thats just me...thats the type of person i am. Then there is also the other side of me...that carries a lot of hurt and anger still...rightfully so...nonetheless...was thinking what to do and what feels right...but i also know if i did say something...he would just be like..."oh she loves me still...i can get her back...etc" and really...i had enough of that. I know im in a vunerable state right now...because of the holidays and its both our birthdays this month...and im just feeling a little lonely and going thru stuff...i been feeling down and a little emotional the past couple weeks. Its my birthday next weekend and i am dreading it...because last year my birthday was soooo bad. I was pregnant and....ya i just dont want to get into that. Anyways...i didnt pass on any type of message today....because i havent reached that point of healing yet. I just feel....i dont know....bad? sad? As much as hes hurt me...i still feel bad that he will feel hurt from this. Ive always been there...he was my life...and now its over....ok...here comes the tears now. An really...i am just so tired of feeling down all the time...i wish i could just get past already....
clickstar Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 I might need something like this in my live. Thanks.
kimmi Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 That's good that you have made it this far with NC. I am on day 1 again. I am like you I feel bad and sad however I have noticed that every time I break it I end up feeling worse off then if I would have just went through with the horrible feelings. Keep it up!!! that's awesome. I want to come back here in 2 months and say that I am on 2 months of NC
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