trueluV Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 After reading some posts on girls getting ditched by guys, and some others pointing out earlier warnings and signs that the road was bumpy, I suddenly got afraid and nervous about my "dating", and was wondering if you guys can help me see this from a third point of view-or from a guys point of view. I posted a thread earlier about this guy, that we went on 5 dates, but haven't kissed yet. to mention again for better understanding of this situation, we're both late 20's and asian. (some pointed out it makes sense we're asian for not being able to kiss even by 5th date...yeah i guess so!) ok, I'll list some things i'm curious about: (btw he's a shy guy, if you remember) he sent me an email via his blackberry at 8 in the morning (and my email was sent past midnight)-do you consider this a good sign? he always tells me to meet up but not with a detailed plan-so i have to ask him back and suggest something and then he would follow, but not exactly because i give out the days that work and he chooses the place(restaurant/bar). so unless i give out specific days, he would always say 'this week' or 'next week' and won't happen. but he has never turned me down. he happily accepts what i suggest, and seems happy to see me. (i mean he smiles and asks me tons of questions when he sees me so i assume he's happy?) -very confusing to me.(is he just really shy??) but he or we haven't had anything physical, other than him touching my arm when having drinks at bar sitting close -another sign of shyness?? when we part, he hugs me good night and we walk separate ways. (i know this is not good, but somehow i understand since we live in opposite directions and it's nyc) sometimes we can't see for almost a 3-4weeks, and before that he would send me an email with his detailed work schedule), -okay this is nice of him, but i can't see him for so long, and then the email and text thing goes back and forth as i mentioned above, and we finally meet again... it's been going on like this, and few days ago he asked to meet up again this week/weekend, without any details as usual. we've already met 5 times, but it's not like we hang out every week, and since he's a shy and busy guy it's really hard for me to read the messages he's sending. oh, did i mention we don't really "flirt"-this is quite unusual for me (since i'm used to being around flirty guys), but he doesn't (due to his shyness??) so i don't either. but we somehow have a good time even though there's no flirting...another confusing thing to me. how do you interpret all this? and what would be the signs a guy is interested in you-(in my case, a shy one)? and what can i do to figure out?
phineas Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 He went on 5 dates with you. That to me is a no-brainer. If he's shy & he really likes you he might be afraid to make a move because he thinks he'll blow it.
JL911 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 If you like him best bet might be trying to kiss him....A kiss is really just a kiss...It shows no real connection, however it does show interest. When I like a girl usually after the first date I throw out a little peck on the lips just to let her know shes onto something... With the way things are anymore you should really just make or break a situation and not sit around waiting for someone to do anything for ya... If its bothering you, you might wana try to mix it up...If hes that insecure to think that trying to kiss a girl is going to mess things up...well...Hes already displaying doormat tendencys...
harmfulsweetz Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 After reading some posts on girls getting ditched by guys, and some others pointing out earlier warnings and signs that the road was bumpy, I suddenly got afraid and nervous about my "dating", and was wondering if you guys can help me see this from a third point of view-or from a guys point of view. I posted a thread earlier about this guy, that we went on 5 dates, but haven't kissed yet. to mention again for better understanding of this situation, we're both late 20's and asian. (some pointed out it makes sense we're asian for not being able to kiss even by 5th date...yeah i guess so!) ok, I'll list some things i'm curious about: (btw he's a shy guy, if you remember) he sent me an email via his blackberry at 8 in the morning (and my email was sent past midnight)-do you consider this a good sign? he always tells me to meet up but not with a detailed plan-so i have to ask him back and suggest something and then he would follow, but not exactly because i give out the days that work and he chooses the place(restaurant/bar). so unless i give out specific days, he would always say 'this week' or 'next week' and won't happen. but he has never turned me down. he happily accepts what i suggest, and seems happy to see me. (i mean he smiles and asks me tons of questions when he sees me so i assume he's happy?) -very confusing to me.(is he just really shy??) but he or we haven't had anything physical, other than him touching my arm when having drinks at bar sitting close -another sign of shyness?? when we part, he hugs me good night and we walk separate ways. (i know this is not good, but somehow i understand since we live in opposite directions and it's nyc) sometimes we can't see for almost a 3-4weeks, and before that he would send me an email with his detailed work schedule), -okay this is nice of him, but i can't see him for so long, and then the email and text thing goes back and forth as i mentioned above, and we finally meet again... it's been going on like this, and few days ago he asked to meet up again this week/weekend, without any details as usual. we've already met 5 times, but it's not like we hang out every week, and since he's a shy and busy guy it's really hard for me to read the messages he's sending. oh, did i mention we don't really "flirt"-this is quite unusual for me (since i'm used to being around flirty guys), but he doesn't (due to his shyness??) so i don't either. but we somehow have a good time even though there's no flirting...another confusing thing to me. how do you interpret all this? and what would be the signs a guy is interested in you-(in my case, a shy one)? and what can i do to figure out? He's shy, give him time. All of the quotes I've put in bold are the signs he likes you. He replied to the email probably as soon as he could, which is a very good sign. Means he cares and doesn't want to keep you waiting, and was genuinely interested in writing back. If he had waited until 8 in the evening, I would consider that he wasn't interested. Is it just me but could he also be waiting for you to make the move? If you aren't flirty around him, he could be struggling to read you. Men are like women in that sense, if they fear rejection, they won't act. Maybe you could initiate it? 5 dates is a lot for a guy to go on if he didn't like you, I would always give it time, try and garner his reactions to you. Slip a hand on his at the bar, or you could out-and out ask him. After 5 dates, it's not unusual for someone to say 'ok, so where are we standing?' Or something like that, make it light, but make sure you get an idea of his feelings for you.
Author trueluV Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 He's shy, give him time. All of the quotes I've put in bold are the signs he likes you. He replied to the email probably as soon as he could, which is a very good sign. Means he cares and doesn't want to keep you waiting, and was genuinely interested in writing back. If he had waited until 8 in the evening, I would consider that he wasn't interested. Is it just me but could he also be waiting for you to make the move? If you aren't flirty around him, he could be struggling to read you. Men are like women in that sense, if they fear rejection, they won't act. Maybe you could initiate it? 5 dates is a lot for a guy to go on if he didn't like you, I would always give it time, try and garner his reactions to you. Slip a hand on his at the bar, or you could out-and out ask him. After 5 dates, it's not unusual for someone to say 'ok, so where are we standing?' Or something like that, make it light, but make sure you get an idea of his feelings for you. thanks for your interpretation I hope he does like me. I am starting to like him, so I am afraid to blow it off by making a move and scaring him off. and I'm also shy to initiate those also. that's why maybe nothing's happening between us. Some of my friends tell me he is just being polite or sees me as a friend which makes me feel insecure, but some other friends tell me as you've said, a guy wouldn't keep suggesting to hang out and pay all the time if he wasn't interested. but i do have a real good guy friend who pays for me every single time, and he has a girlfriend and we never ever flirt, so i am not sure where i stand with this guy. anyway i'll be meeting him again this week, so I'll let you know how it goes! thanks for reading and replying to my l-o-n-g post.
Datingnoob Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Seems like he's losing interest; I would want to see a woman I am interested in every week. If you like him, kiss him. If this is too much pressure, try holding his hand or putting your arm around his arm when you go out. There is no excuse for a woman to not respond to a man who is interested. Cut out the shyness and do what you are supposed to do, show your interest.
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