jules-marie Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 he broke up with me 7 months ago after a 9 month relationship. i was sad, but going okay. changed his mind a couple of weeks later.we got back together, i was delighted. then, days later, insisted he had to be single and had a lot of personal issues to get thru alone. broke up with me for a second time. 2 weeks later he has a new gf. they are still together and aparantley madly in love. i have not moved on and it seems to be all i think about. we wernt really on speaking terms as i did my best to go nc, though i would politely reply to text messages for the first few moths after break up. anyway 2 months ago i hear hes been telling people how ive burned my bridges by not maintaining contact....basically being totally insensitive to the entire situation. we had a massive fight which resolved with us agreeing to be friend. now we just text every week or so. i miss him so much. it kills me to see him with his new gf. what we had was perfect. i feel so pathetic that i cant move on. i cant sleep at night, thinking through everthing. i just want to be happy again.
deux ex machina Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 ...anyway 2 months ago i hear hes been telling people how ive burned my bridges by not maintaining contact....basically being totally insensitive to the entire situation. we had a massive fight which resolved with us agreeing to be friend. now we just text every week or so. i miss him so much. it kills me to see him with his new gf. what we had was perfect. i feel so pathetic that i cant move on. i cant sleep at night, thinking through everthing. i just want to be happy again. He is being insensitive to what this is doing to you. Likely he doesn't know that it's hurting you to this extent, of course - yet he needs to realize you have your own reasons for distancing yourself, and he needs to respect that. Honey, the only way is to get on, without him around. Especially seeing him with his gf. At least for a while, you have to focus on healing your heart. You'll just continue getting hurt having him in your sphere at the moment, and must detach. Best of luck to you.
counterman Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 im sorry to hear the pain you have been going through. but you have to go through NC again and stay strong about it. try not to text him, even if its every week or so, because that would just prolong your suffering. personal issues to get through alone and 2 weeks later he has a new girlfriend? sounds to me like he met this girl whilst you got back together and had an inclination towards her then so he changed his mind about you. NC is a chance for time for yourself. i understand that you may feel it is polite to reply to his texts but it seriously will just boost his ego. he knows you want him and hes gonna resist even more no matter how much contact you make. hes with another girl. so definitely stick to NC i.e. dont reply to anything, stay right away from all of it. if what you had was perfect, wouldnt you still be together? theres always something that causes relationships to end and it is really sad and the last thing you want is to prolong this feeling. moving on takes time and no one can tell you specifically how long. NC will give you that time you need to heal. being happy again doesnt mean you need him to or anyone for that matter. all you need is yourself and once you find that happiness with yourself then you will no doubt be attractive to someone and that love you sorely miss will be there again for sure. ps. you deserve better than for being blamed for not contacting him. and if he was insensitive, he wasnt right for you anyways. read these links: NO contact Do you really think contacting your ex is going to help you?
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