mortensorchid Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 I have a situation these days. Please let me explain ... Many months ago, I sent an IM to someone by mistake. I was looking for a friend of a friend who, according to my friend, was a fan of this band I like. As it turns out, the one who I had sent the IM to was in fact also a friend of the same friend, but I had to wrong person. We chatted once or twice, then I apologized to him saying that I thought he was someone else. We got to the point where we decided to chat on the phone, and he said he wanted to meet me. We had made a tentative plan to meet, and then I never heard from him on the appointed day. I did not attempt to contact him again, thinking that it was just another one of those things and I wasn't going to loose sleep over it. Then, last week, I got a text message from him asking if I wanted to go for a walk on the beach with his dog. As I had deleted him from my phone, I asked who it was, he said he was "Fred" from several weeks ago. I decided "Ok", and I went out to meet him. We spent an hour or two walking on the beach, it was innocent and chaste, I assure all, then we ended the evening nicely. He wrote me an email later that day saying he had a good time and he wanted too see me again soon. I waited a few days to return the message, then we talked on the phone this last Tuesday night. I kept things light and breezy, as I am playing hard to get with him. He asked me on the phone on Friday night if I wanted to go out on Monday night for all you can eat crablegs at someplace near him. I sent him a text this evening saying "What time/ place for carb tomorrow?" he texted me back "Tomorrow, depends on work, call me". Should I be holding my breath over this? I have agreed to the get together, but there is a part of me that thinks he's going to blow me off and I'll end up sitting in bed with my make up on. I've been blown off before by a******s, am I just being paranoid or silly here?
CarrieT Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 I think you are ready way too much into it. He asked you out for Monday night but the specific TIME is the only thing that is not definite and depends on his work schedule and that he wants to you check in with him for the exact time. What's so hard about that?
Stockalone Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Should I be holding my breath over this? I have agreed to the get together, but there is a part of me that thinks he's going to blow me off and I'll end up sitting in bed with my make up on. I've been blown off before by a******s, am I just being paranoid or silly here? I think you should worry about that when you are actually stood up and not before. I understand your trepidation though. He already made plans once and then didn't follow through. And he said that you should call him, that IMO is not a good sign. Why should you call him when he is the one possibly working late? He should call you when he knows when he will be finished at work and then plan the evening accordingly. Tell him that he should call you. If he does, I think you should go on the date. If he still expects you to call him, or if he doesn't respond at all, forget about him and don't respond if he contacts you again.
Author mortensorchid Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 Thank you Stockalone, I will.
Stockalone Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Thank you Stockalone, I will. It's still (late) afternoon in the U.S., if I am not mistaken. Have you talked to him yet? Sorry to be so nosy. I should add that the reason why I think you shouldn't call him is because IMO it just makes the most sense in this situation. Not because it might help you with playing hard to get. As soon as he knows when he will be finished at work, it only takes one phone call. That is easy and very simple for both of you. If you call him, he might not even know yet how long he has to work or you could be calling at a bad time. Then you might have to call him a second time. That he calls you just makes the most sense to me, especially since he already has one strike from before.
Author mortensorchid Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 Now this is odd ... Nearly an hour ago I send him a text message asking "How was work today", as he specifically instructed me to call / text later that day. It is now about 6 pm. He left a comment on my Facebook page, though, about an hour ago. I skipped lunch today saving my appetite. I'm hungry ... I feel like I've been blown off, have I?
Author mortensorchid Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 Just to update everyone, I sent him the text about 2 hours ago saying "How was work today?", as he instructed me to call / text him at the end of the day. I just now heard from him via text, he said he had a terrible day. I asked why. He said he's sick to his stomach and having dizzy spells. Nothing since then. I'm taking that statement as a blow off and will not return nor call him. He can call me with whatever it is he wants to talk about with me, if anything at all. I'm not holding my breath about this one, he's just another a*****e.
Stockalone Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Just to update everyone, I sent him the text about 2 hours ago saying "How was work today?", as he instructed me to call / text him at the end of the day. I just now heard from him via text, he said he had a terrible day. I asked why. He said he's sick to his stomach and having dizzy spells. Nothing since then. I'm taking that statement as a blow off and will not return nor call him. He can call me with whatever it is he wants to talk about with me, if anything at all. I'm not holding my breath about this one, he's just another a*****e. Has he apologized for not contacting you the last time he didn't follow through? And what about now? I don't think this guy is interested much. This whole "let's-do-something-together" and then disappearing act is lame. If he wanted to see you, he would at least apologize and try to set up a new date. I am sorry that happened to you twice now with this guy. I hope you have better luck with the next guy.
donnamaybe Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Just to update everyone, I sent him the text about 2 hours ago saying "How was work today?", as he instructed me to call / text him at the end of the day. I just now heard from him via text, he said he had a terrible day. I asked why. He said he's sick to his stomach and having dizzy spells. Nothing since then. I'm taking that statement as a blow off and will not return nor call him. He can call me with whatever it is he wants to talk about with me, if anything at all. I'm not holding my breath about this one, he's just another a*****e. You know, there have been people I personally know with symptoms like that who were sick for several days recently. Why are you reading so much into this?
LostInLA Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 You know, there have been people I personally know with symptoms like that who were sick for several days recently. Why are you reading so much into this? Because he could have let her know he wasn't feeling well, apologize and let her know he will contact her when he feels better. Instead, he's being somewhat ambiguous and making her jump through some hoops for dinner on a Monday night. He could have made it a lot easier by saying he would call her when he knows what time work is over. Just my opinion though.
Johnny M Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 I don't have any advice for the OP, but the thread title is absolutely hilarious
Author mortensorchid Posted December 12, 2009 Author Posted December 12, 2009 It's been nearly a week and he STILL hasn't called to reschedule. I am not about to ask him if and when we will reschedule. I've just resolved it, he's not that interested and I'm not interested in someone who will just limp along doing nothing.
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